


The Adventures of Hatter & Hare: An Unexpected Beginning

by milesofblue



Series: The Adventures of Hatter & Hare [1]
Category: Adventures In Wonderland (TV 1992)
Genre: Adventures, Angst, Awkward Romance, Comedy, Falling In Love, Feels, Friends to Lovers, Happily Ever After, Humor, M/M, Mild Smut, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pastel Tea Parties, Peril, Pure, Sensuality, Sexual innuendos, Sweet as Strawberry Tarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-01-30 07:01:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 75,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21424099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesofblue/pseuds/milesofblue
Summary: The untold story of Hatter and Hare from Disney's Adventures in Wonderland! Friendship, pastel tea parties, misunderstandings, angst and awkward romance...This story has all the feels and tons of humor! Once you jump down this rabbit hole you won't ever want to come back!
Relationships: Mad Hatter/March Hare
Series: The Adventures of Hatter & Hare [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1551691
Comments: 33
Kudos: 15





	1. Room to Spare

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based solely on the Disney channel original series, "Adventures in Wonderland" from 1992 and its take on Lewis Carrol's book, "Alice in Wonderland." If you haven't watched this beloved TV gem from the 90's...then what are you waiting for?! =) Go to "TeaforTen" on YouTube and binge watch all the episodes. See the blatant chemistry between the Hatter and the Hare for yourself! Wonderland will never be the same!
> 
> (My particular favorite episodes are: "Party Pooped", "Welcome Back Hatter", "Time Warped", "Take My Tonsils...Please!","He's Not Heavy, He's my Hatter" and "Hats off to the King.")
> 
> This show really is something special and just as hilarious today as it was back then! I had an absolute blast writing this story and loved letting my imagination run wild! All of these characters hold a very special place in my heart and take me back to my childhood.
> 
> And last but not least—MAD props to Lewis Carrol for writing such a trippy story that has inspired the imagination of generations—and to Disney for making it gay!
> 
> ~This fic is dedicated to all those that aren't afraid to get a little topsy-turvy and think outside the box! Keep dreaming, my friends! We need your unique perspective in this world—no matter how MAD it is!~ 
> 
> Enjoy your time down the rabbit hole! =)

_~~~_

_"Oh, you can't help that," said the Cat: "we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."_

_-Alice in Wonderland_

_~~~_

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter adjusted his grey top hat and frowned, something was amiss but he just couldn’t quite put his gloved finger on it. He examined several tall piles of pastel teacups on his tea table, but they looked just as topsy-turvy as they had the day before.

“Looking for something?” a small, squeaky voice asked.

The Hatter spun around and saw the Dormouse, peeping out of his porcelain blue teapot.

“As a matter of fact, I am…something is missing…”

“Like…the Hare maybe?” the tiny, bespectacled mouse squeaked.

“That’s it! I knew something wasn’t right. Where IS he? We were supposed to have tea together…” the Hatter whined.

“I heard him say something about meeting Alice in the Queen’s garden…”

“Hmph. Well that just won’t do. We always have a date for tea at noon o’clock sharp every day,” the Hatter said, crossing his arms and frowning. He couldn’t understand how meeting _Alice_ could possibly be as important as tea with him.

A high pitched laugh filled the air and he snapped his head up to see Alice and the Hare walking arm and arm through the garden gate.

“Well it’s about TIME!” he exclaimed, rushing towards them. “We had a date!”

“A date?” the Hare asked, scratching one of his brown, furry ears.

“For tea?” the Hatter finished, shooting a contemptuous glance at Alice.

“Oh that’s right! Silly me! Alice and I were just busy talking about the Queen’s garden party…she thinks we should do _gold_ heart balloons this year instead of red…and I said—"

“There’s no TIME for that!” the Hatter snapped impatiently. “The tea is getting cold, and Alice, don’t you have somewhere _else_ to be?”

Alice gaped at the Hatter with wide, blue eyes. “Well I thought we could all have tea together…”

“Of course we can!” the Hare said, moving quickly to pull out a pastel chair for her.

“Company!” the Dormouse squeaked in alarm, before disappearing back into his teapot, and by the sound of it, he was re-arranging his entire house.

“Well I guess it’s alright,” the Hatter grumbled, swishing back his purple coat-tails and picking up a pink tea pot. He begrudgingly poured some for Alice and the Hare, and then sat down in his chair, brooding, as they continued to discuss the garden party décor.

Since when did Alice and the Hare plan these things anyway? He and the Hare were always the ones to help the Queen out when she needed it. What could Alice _possibly_ know about _style_ anyway? He looked her up and down, grimacing at her boring blue overalls and blindingly white sneakers. No, _he_ was the most stylish person in Wonderland, not little Alice. He designed hats and threw spectacular parties for a living for goodness-sakes! 

When their conversation finally died down, and Alice said she had to be on her way to meet the White Rabbit to discuss beverages for the party, the Hatter wanted to literally do a dance upon the table, and he would have, too, if he hadn’t had other things on his mind.

“That’s a good girl…you just be on your way now, dear Alice,” he crooned, an overly-large smile plastered on his face.

When he turned back around he found the Hare staring at him quizzically.

“What’s gotten into you?” the Hare asked.

“Who? _Me_? Nothing…absolutely nothing…I just wasn’t expecting guests today…”

“Well you were expecting _me_…”

“Yes…but you’re…well, you’re not really a guest…you practically _live_ here after all!” the Hatter said with a giddy chuckle as he whacked him on the shoulder.

“I guess that’s true…” the Hare replied. “But still, you’re acting peculiar.”

The Hatter was silent for a moment as he gazed deeply into the Hare’s questioning, chocolate brown eyes, suddenly losing all sense of time. And then, feeling uncomfortably awkward, he cleared his throat and looked away.

The Hare frowned at him and scratched his chin, “Well, anyway, speaking of _places to live_…I think I’ve finally found the perfect spot! I was talking with the Caterpillar the other day—he gave me some fabulous tea cake recipes by the way—and he suggested I live in that vacant burrow in the mushroom patch…Fox isn’t coming back anytime soon, and it’s very spacious…stays cool in the summers and—"

“WHAT? You’re going to live in a _hole_ in the ground? Like some kind of…of…SHREW?” the Hatter bellowed. “No, that just won’t do…”

“Well I thought it was a great idea!” the Hare said, throwing his hands in the air. “Do you have any _better_ suggestions?”

“Yes, you could live with ME!” the Hatter blurted out, turning beet red as soon as the words had left his mouth.

“With…with you?”

“Why not? You said so yourself you practically _live_ here anyway…And I’ve got extra room…we could clean out the attic.”

“Huh.”

“Well if you’d rather live in some hole-in-the-ground in a mushroom patch, so be it…I was just trying to help,” the Hatter said with a sniff as he absently brushed a pile of tea cups off the table. After the dishes had crashed to the ground with a clatter, he perched himself on the edge of the table and sighed heavily, with his chin rested in his hands. 

“No…I think it’s a great idea!” the Hare finally said, moving to stand in front of him.

“Really?” the Hatter asked, whipping his head up so fast his top hat fell off and rolled away. He nervously tried to adjust his shoulder length, blonde hair, feeling positively naked without his hat.

The Hare smiled at him and reached out his yellow gloved hand, smoothing down a piece of unruly blonde hair and gently tucking it behind his ear.

“There, that’s better,” he said softly.

The Hatter’s heart suddenly felt like it was about to pound out of his chest; even his mouth went dry, rendering him speechless.

The Hare picked up the hat, dusted it off, and held it out to him, and when the Hatter reached out and took it, and their gloved fingers grazed, he felt a bolt of electricity shoot straight up his arm, making him jump slightly.

“Th-thanks,” he stuttered, quickly putting his hat back on and adjusting it.

“No problem,” the Hare replied, still staring at him with a strange expression.

The Hatter hopped off the table and straightened his jacket, “Well, anyway, why don’t I give you a tour of the house?”

“But, Hatter, I’ve _seen_ your house…dozens of times…”

“Yes, but this time it’s different…this time—it’s _your_ house, too…”

“Oh,” the Hare replied, and then he followed close behind him as they made their way up to the giant yellow house in the shape of a top hat.

***

\---The Hare---

“And over here is where we could put your bed,” the Hatter said enthusiastically, pointing to a corner in the attic under the rafting where there was a small round window and room enough for a twin bed. “We could put a nightstand here…I’ve got another hat lamp somewhere,” he said as he began tossing things out of a random box.

“I think this will be just perfect!” the Hare gushed, clasping his hands together. He twitched his mouth to the side and paced around the room. “And I can put my gardening equipment over here…and my tuba over there…oh and I’ll need room for my golfing equipment…”

The Hatter scratched his chin. “Well I’m not sure if _all_ of that will fit up here…but let me see…we can always put your gardening things in the garden shed…”

“But Hatter, you don’t _have_ a gardening shed…”

“But I will! You’ll need some place to keep your tools for the garden….”

“But Hatter, you don’t _have_ a garden…”

“But I will! Besides drinking tea with me, it’s your _very_ favorite thing to do!”

“Well, yes…that is true,” the Hare said blushing and wringing his hands. “Sweet of you to remember.”

“Oh, I remember _everything_,” the Hatter said, staring down at him dreamily. “I mean…I…I have the best memory in all of Wonderland! I won the Spelling Bee, after all…”

“Right,” the Hare said smirking up at him. “Well, anyway, I just can’t thank you enough for all of this! It’s been getting old living at the Holly Hodge Hotel, and the Fox’s hole in the mushroom patch wasn’t nearly as spacious as this is…”

“I’m glad to help,” the Hatter said with a large smile. “And now you’ll never miss a tea party!”

“Indeed! We can do everything together now…”

“How true that is!”

The Hare trailed his finger over a shelf on the wall and bit his lip. He pulled his hand back and squinted at his dust covered fingertip. “We might need to give this place a good cleaning before I move in…” he said with a frown.

“You know what? The Tweedles owe me a favor—I repaired that boom box of theirs that fell into the Queen’s fountain…I’ll get them in here to clean this place up in a jiffy.”

“That sounds great! And then you and I can go retrieve my things and bring them back here!”

“Sounds like a plan!” the Hatter said gleefully.

The Hare didn’t know why, but he felt like his stomach was full of butterflies, and every time the Hatter smiled at him, one would fly away. The constant tickling sensation made him want to laugh, or dance, or even break out into song.

It was a peculiar feeling and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Going somewhere?” a familiar voice purred.

“Oh, hello Cheshire Cat!” the Hatter said. “We’re just on our way to pick up the Hare’s things from the Holly Hodge Hotel. We’re moving in together!”

“Arrrrre you now?”

“Yes!” the Hare said giddily. “We’re going to do _everything_ together!”

“That’s funny…I thought you alllllreadyyyy did…” the cat said with a wicked, toothy grin.

“Well not _everything_!” the Hatter exclaimed, blushing.

“You two really will be innnnnseparable now!” the cat purred.

“Exactly!” the Hatter replied, elbowing the Hare’s side and making him jump.

The cat cackled loudly, disappearing into thin air with only his grin left behind.

The Hatter pursed his lips and shook his head. “He’s always so full of riddles…”

***

\---The Hatter---

“Wow, I didn’t realize there was quite this much stuff,” the Hatter said wide-eyed, as he watched several black beetles load the Hare’s belongings into a car in the shape of a yellow banana. “We may have to make several trips.”

“Not to worry,” a gruff sounding, squat beetle said, “this magic car can hold pretty much anything…it shrinks things waaayyy down…”

“That’s just delightful!” the Hare said walking over with a grin. He patted the Hatter on the shoulder and then continued sorting through his things.

After the banana car was fully loaded, the Hatter sat behind the wheel, scrunching his face as he looked at all the controls. There seemed to be far too many, and in all different shapes and sizes, and even _smells_, too.

“Hare, I’m not sure I can drive this contraption…”

“Sure you can!”

“How do you know?”

“Just press this button that says, ‘Drive’.”

“Oh! Silly me!” the Hatter said laughing nervously. He reached out and pushed down the giant pink button that smelled like bubblegum, and in less than a second, they were zooming off down the road at break-neck speed.

“Clearly, b-b-b-anana cars have no speed control!” the Hatter yelled as they flew down the little dirt road and past rows of heart-shaped trees.

“WH-WHAT?” the Hare yelled back.

“N-NEVER MIND!”

Suddenly, a large, blurry white shape whizzed in front of the banana car, making them both scream out in terror and cover their eyes. The Hatter jerked the wheel to the side, trying to avoid collision, and the car hopped a fence and continued racing forward through a field of orange tulips.

“Wh-what was that thing?” the Hatter screeched.

“It l-l-l-looked like…a c-c-c-otton ball…on w-w-wheels!” the Hare yelled.

The car suddenly came to a screeching halt, smoke billowing from the wheels, and they found themselves at the front gate to the Hatter’s house.

They both gasped for air and clutched the dash, steadying themselves.

“That was…one…wild ride…” the Hare panted.

“I’ll say! But at least now we have fresh flowers!” the Hatter said, grabbing a handful of orange tulips that had made their way inside the car, and holding them up. “The Dormouse loves these!”

“I wonder if the Tweedles have finished cleaning yet,” the Hare wheezed, as he shakily crawled out of the car.

The Hatter quickly ran over and grabbed his arm, helping him stand.

“Th-thanks.”

“No problem!”

They grabbed some of the Hare’s things from the car, which thankfully grew back to their normal size, and carried them into the house.

They could _hear_ the Tweedles before they saw them. The bass from their hip-hop music was so loud it was literally making the house shake, as if the giant top hat were dancing.

“Hatter! Hare!” the Tweedles exclaimed, looking suspiciously as if they’d just been dancing with a mop.

“Hello!” the Hatter and Hare said in unison.

“Well, what do you think of our _mad_ cleaning skills?” Tweedle Dee asked, moving his shoulders from side to side to the beat of the pounding music.

“Do we meet your standards?” Tweedle Dum added, popping his hip to the side with a flare.

“The place looks fabulous!” the Hare said turning in a circle with a huge smile.

The Hatter turned the booming music down and nodded in agreement. “Looks great!”

“Well, we’ll be off then! We’re meeting the White Rabbit to go over the entertainment for the Queen’s garden party. You might have passed him as he was leaving here,” Tweedle Dee said.

“You don’t say?” the Hare asked, looking nervously at the Hatter.

They were both clearly thinking of the cotton ball on wheels they’d nearly run over in their banana car.

“Hmm…interesting,” the Hatter said, rubbing his chin. “Well you better be off then! We have lots of unpacking to do!”

“I hope the Rabbit’s okay,” the Hare whispered after they’d left.

“Oh, I’m sure he’s _just fine_…he always does _bounce_ back,” the Hatter said with a satisfied chuckle.

“Yes, indeed!” the Hare replied, grinning mischievously.

***

\---The Hatter---

“There, that’s perfect!” the Hare said as he finished smoothing down the colorful patch-work quilt on his twin bed.

“That’s a lovely quilt!” the Hatter said as he watched him.

“Oh, thank you! My mother made it for me. It’s got all of our favorite vegetables on it! See, here’s a carrot…oh and celery…and you can’t forget the radishes!” he said pointing to a colorfully stitched quilt square.

“How is your mother by the way?”

“Oh, just delightful! She’s currently away at sea, enjoying some sun and sand with the Wonderland Travel Group. She stays busier than the Dormouse on cleaning day!”

“Well that’s fantastic!” the Hatter said grinning. “Now, where do you want to put this last box?”

“Oh, that!” the Hare yelped, snatching the red velvet heart-shaped box out of his hands. “It’s nothing! Just some memorabilia…I’ll just tuck it under…_here_,” he said with a grunt as he shoved it under his bed.

“Memorabilia? Of what?”

“Oh, you know! Just memories from Wonderland…no big deal.”

“Huh…any memories of…_me_?” the Hatter asked, dusting a piece of invisible lent off his jacket collar.

“Maybe,” the Hare replied, looking away nervously.

The grandfather clock in the room chimed loudly, making them both whip their heads up.

“It must be time for tea again!” the Hatter exclaimed. He walked over to the giant clock and put his hands on his hips. “What time is it, Ticky?”

“The same time it _always_ is…” droned a slow, sleepy voice. “It’s tea time.”

He frowned at the clock face. It was like a regular clock, except instead of numbers there were different colored teacups; and at the end of the large clock hand there was a pastel blue tea pot.

“Ticky seems slower than usual…I think he’s due for a tune-up,” the Hatter said with scrunched brows.

“How can you tell?”

“Because he should have told us it was Tea Time at _least_ ten minutes ago…” the Hatter said, pulling out his golden pocket watch and tapping it.

“Shall we go down together?” the Hare asked, suddenly looking very bashful.

“Yes, we shall!” the Hatter replied with a grin, patting him on the shoulder.

When they walked back out to the tea table they were surprised to see that the banana car was gone.

“Well, the Beetle did say it would find its way back home once we were done with it…” the Hatter shrugged.

“Well let’s hope it went back a _different_ way than it came…” the Hare said with a chuckle.

“How true that is!”

“Oh, Hatter! Hare!” a familiar sing-song voice called.

They both looked up to see the White Rabbit headed towards them on his roller blades—clearly going faster than he’d intended—because instead of going _through_ the garden gate, he flipped over the rock wall and hit the ground hard on his bottom, with his large tail cushioning most of the blow. 

“Rabbit! Are you okay?” The Hatter asked, rushing towards him.

“Fine…fine…it’s not the _first_ time today I was nearly killed!” the White Rabbit said with a grunt as they helped him to standing.

They both shot each other worried glances.

“Really? What happened?” the Hare asked innocently.

“Well, believe it or not, I was almost run over by…by a BANANA!”

“A banana?! Well isn’t that just the _silliest_ thing?” the Hatter exclaimed, laughing loudly.

“Absolutely ridiculous!” the Hare chimed in.

“Well it happened, I tell you! It did! I was just leaving your house—I’d told the Tweedles to meet me about the garden party—and I was rolling down the lane, when out of a nowhere, a giant, yellow banana came hurtling towards me! It swerved just in the nick of time and flew into that tulip patch…I crashed into a shrub, with barely my tail to spare,” the Rabbit said, holding his hand solemnly over his heart.

“Well, now…that sounds just…_terrible_,” the Hatter said with wide, blue eyes.

“Just terrible,” the Hare repeated, shaking his head.

“So anyway, did you come here for tea or…?” the Hatter asked.

“Oh, no, but thank you, I came to deliver your official invitation to the Queen’s garden party this afternoon.”

“Oh, wonderful!” the Hatter said taking the bright red envelope from him. “But is the Hare invited, too?”

“Of course he is! But since you’re…well, _together_, you can share this one…”

The Hatter laughed nervously and opened the envelope.

“It says here it’s a ‘black tie affair’…but Rabbit, I don’t have a _black tie_…”

“Well it’s not literal! It’s just an expression…meaning, wear a suit…you know, _formal_ wear. The Queen commands it,” the Rabbit said standing taller and straightening his vest importantly.

The Hare frowned, “Well gee, I’m not sure I have anything _formal_.” A worried look crossed his face. “I may not be able to attend…” he said, hanging his head.

“Nonsense!” the Hatter bellowed. “You’re _living_ with a tailor!” he grinned.

“Oh, that’s right!”

“Well, just make sure you’re wearing _suitable_ attire,” the White Rabbit said with a self-satisfied chuckle.

“Don’t you worry, Rabbit, we’ll be the best dressed guests at the ball…erm…garden party, I mean,” the Hatter said with a tip of his hat. “Now, be on your way, we have things to do!”

The Rabbit rolled his eyes and wheeled away.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” the Hare asked, moving closer towards him.

“Of course not! Making something for you…my…my _best friend_ and pal…will be a delight!”

“Aw shucks…thanks, Hatter,” the Hare said with a deep blush, gazing up at him.

***


	2. Dapper Suits at a Party

***

\---The Hare---

“Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?” the Hare asked, wringing his hands as he and the Hatter were laying out different pieces of material on the tea table.

“Not at all! I’ve been wanting to design something new lately…And frankly, the Queen’s hats are getting a bit boring. She refuses to try anything new…Now, which one of these catches your eye?” he asked.

“Well…I think I like this one best…” the Hare said, pointing to a piece of fabric.

“That’s perfect! A powder blue suit! You’ll be the bell of the ball! I…I mean the best dressed _Hare_!”

“Great choice!” the Dormouse said, peeping his head out of his teapot.

“Thanks, Dormouse!” the Hare replied, grinning. “Hopefully the queen won’t think it’s too flashy…I’d hate for her to think I’m trying to upstage her…”

“Are you sure you don’t want any rhinestones?” the Hatter asked with a smirk.

“Maybe keep the sparkle to a minimum…I’m quite conservative, you know…”

“How true that is!” the Hatter said whacking him on the back. “Now, you hold still and I’ll start pinning.”

The Hare giggled and froze on the spot.

Before long, he was covered in blue fabric from head to toe and a copious amount of pins. “Hatter, I think my legs have gone to sleep…”

“Almost done now!” the Hatter mumbled, taking a pin out of his mouth and weaving it expertly through the fabric.

“Hatter, how am I gonna get out of this?”

“Simple! You’ll just take it off…”

“But you’ve got me pinned inside it…and I can’t…_move_,” the Hare grunted as he struggled.

“Now, now, don’t worry, we’ll take it off the same way we put it on…one pin at a time.”

The Hare groaned and closed his eyes. “Can I at least have something to drink? I’m parched…”

“Of course!” the Hatter exclaimed. He filled a pink tea cup and then held it out to the Hare.

“I can’t move…my…arm…” the Hare said as he struggled.

“Oh! Well, then I’ll just…hold it here,” the Hatter said, carefully holding the tea cup up to the Hare’s lips. For a brief moment they locked eyes, but then quickly looked away, embarrassed.

“Better?” the Hatter asked after moving the cup away.

“Better,” the Hare replied dreamily. “But what if I have to go to the bathroom?”

“Ah…well that’s why we’re going to get this off of you in a jiffy!” and he pulled out a large pair of gold scissors and started to cut the fabric off him.

“But what about the pins?”

“Oh those were just to mark where I needed to cut…” the Hatter said as he took all the fabric and laid it on the table. “Now, I’ll just sew all this together and you can try it back on!”

The Hare watched in awe as the Hatter seemed to move in fast motion, stitching at warp speed until he was completely done.

“Now, try this on!” the Hatter said, holding the material out to him.

“Alright…I’ll just go change in the house,” he replied shyly.

When he came back out he wasn’t sure what to expect, and the shocked look on the Hatter’s red face certainly didn’t help matters.

“Well?” he asked nervously.

“Well…I…I think it looks FABULOUS!” the Hatter exclaimed, rushing towards him and quickly fixing the collar and fiddling with the sleeves. “Do you still have that white ruffled shirt from when you dressed as a pirate for the Queen’s Halloween party?”

“Y-yes I do…” the Hare stammered, feeling rather anxious as the Hatter was in such close proximity to him.

“Wear that! It will look perfect! But this still needs one-more-thing…” the Hatter said tapping his gloved finger to his lips and frowning, and then he whipped out a needle and sewed something onto the jacket pocket in the blink of an eye.

The Hare looked down in surprise to see a row of iridescent rhinestones sewn right across the breast pocket.

“That’s better! Now we’ll match!” the Hatter said grinning.

“That’s nice…” the Hare said gazing up at him.

“Hey! What about me!” the Dormouse squeaked from his teapot.

“Oh, of course! Do you need a suit, too?” the Hatter asked, walking over towards him and leaning his elbows on the table.

“No, I have mine, but I do need some sparkle!”

The Hatter smirked and handed him a single rhinestone. “Will this do?”

“Yes! Thank you!” the mouse said excitedly, taking the stone and shutting the lid to his house.

“Well, I guess we’re ready to go then!” the Hatter said, clasping his hands together. “All that’s left to do is finish getting dressed and go to the party!”

“Exactly,” the Hare replied, biting his lip.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Hare? Are you almost ready? The party starts in a few minutes!”

“Coming!” the Hare called as he opened the front door of the house and stepped outside.

The Hatter’s jaw hit the floor when he saw him. The Hare looked amazing in his powder blue suit and ruffled shirt. He’d even teased his hair out, which looked most becoming. The rhinestones on his pocket caught the light and sparkled.

“You…you look wonderful! And so dapper!” the Hatter exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. 

“And so do you!” the Hare replied, blushing. “Though, the Queen might feel threatened by all those rhinestones.”

The Hatter chuckled and ran his fingers along his bejeweled suit collar. “What? This old thing?”

“Shall we be off then?”

“Yes! But let me just fix one thing…” the Hatter said, moving closer and straightening the blue bow tie around the Hare’s neck. “There, now it’s perfect…” And when he gazed down into the Hare’s eyes, his stomach did a back flip. He gulped and quickly moved his hands away.

“Don’t forget me!” the Dormouse squeaked from the table.

“Oh! Of course not!” the Hatter yelped, rushing over towards him. He picked up the teapot and nestled it safely under his arm, hoping the Dormouse couldn’t hear the incessant pounding of his heart.

“Let’s go!” the Hare said grinning.

~~~

When they arrived at the party they found everyone else already there, and just about to be seated.

“Well, finally!” the Queen huffed. “It’s about time!”

“I’m sorry, your Majesty, but the Dormouse held us up…”

“Hey!” the mouse squeaked as he popped his head out of the teapot.

The Hatter laughed nervously and shoved him back down with his finger, snapping the lid shut. “I’ll just set him…right…here…” he said, clearing a space on the table.

“Now that _all_ my guests are FINALLY here, we can begin!” the queen bellowed. “RABBIT! RAAAAABBIT!”

“Yes, your Majesty,” the White Rabbit said breathlessly as he appeared, carrying a tray of tea cups.

“It’s time to serve the tea!”

“Yes, your Majesty…” he replied before wheeling away again.

The Queen narrowed her eyes at the Hatter’s bedazzled suit and pursed her lips. He winced and shrugged his shoulders, then glanced over at the Tweedles and noticed they were wearing matching black suits with red bow ties, and then he observed Alice, who was wearing a white satin dress with a red ruby heart attached to the very center of it.

“Where’s the Caterpillar?” the Hare asked, fidgeting with his gloved hands on the table.

“He’s out of town,” Alice replied. “There was a Bug Convention at the—"

“YES, well he obviously thinks he’s too _important_ for _my_ parties!” the Queen interrupted. “I won’t waste any more invitations on him.”

“What about meeeee?” an invisible voice purred.

They all looked up to see the Cheshire Cat suspended in the air above them, with a large smirk on his furry purple and white striped face.

“You? Why should I send YOU an invitation?! You come and go as you please!” the Queen barked, crossing her arms.

“Eeeeexactly!” the Cat crooned. There was a popping sound and a teacup appeared balanced on his paw. “And thanks for the tea!” he said, before disappearing with a loud cackle.

“Oh! Harrumph! That _Cat_…” the Queen grumbled. “RABBIT! RAAAABBIT!”

“Coming, your Majesty!” the Rabbit hollered, appearing again with the tea, panting. He carefully poured some into the Queen’s bedazzled red cup and then into the Tweedle’s golden ones. 

“Maybe the Queen should have let _us_ host this party,” the Hatter leaned over and whispered to the Hare.

“I’ll say!”

“You’ll say WHAT?” the Queen barked, narrowing her eyes at the two of them.

“I…I-I’ll say this party is fantastic! The decorations are _really_ something…” the Hare blurted out.

“Oh, that was all Alice!” the Rabbit said proudly, as he accidentally overflowed Tweedle Dum’s teacup.

“Fabulous job!” the Hare said smiling at her.

“Thanks!” she replied, beaming.

The Hatter looked between the two of them and curled his lip. “Well, anyway, it’s a wonderful day for a garden party—you chose well, your Majesty.”

“Well, good! I’m glad someone’s _finally_ appreciating ME! I mean…my _expertise_…”

They sipped their tea in silence, casting nervous glances around the table at one another.

“So, your Majesty, did you hear about the Duchess and the—"

“The Duchess?! What about her?” the Queen snapped.

Tweedle Dee swallowed hard, obviously realizing he’d made a colossal mistake by bringing up the subject.

“Well, um, only that she…she won a contest?” Tweedle Dum interjected, wincing.

“A contest?! What sort of contest?” the Queen hissed.

“Best Dressed in Wonderland…” Dum muttered.

“WHAT?! RABBIT! RAAAABBIT!”

“I’m right here, your Majesty,” the Rabbit sighed, uncovering his large ears with his hands.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this contest? And why didn’t you tell me the DUCHESS won?”

“Well…I…I…didn’t think it was that important…” the Rabbit stuttered.

“NOT IMPORTANT?! Of course it is!”

“But your Majesty,” Alice chimed in, “They do the contest every month, and _every_ month the Duchess wins…”

“Well not this time…I mean, _next time_,” the Queen said, pounding her fists on the table and making the dishes shake.

“EARTH QUAAAAAKE!” the Dormouse screamed, popping his head out of his tea pot and throwing his hands in the air.

“No it’s not an EARTH QUAKE, the Queen barked, it’s just ME!” 

The Hatter and Hare exchanged nervous glances.

“Hatter,” the Queen said, staring at him fiercely from across the table, “I’m going to need YOU to make me the Best Dressed in Wonderland!”

“Of…of course, your Majesty…I’d be happy to…maybe we can actually make you something _different_…” he muttered.

“What was that?”

“I’ll make you something different that’s SURE to stand out!” he said enthusiastically. 

“As long as I beat the Duchess…that’s all that matters,” she said, leaning back in her red velvet chair with a satisfied smirk and an evil glint in her dark eyes. “Ole’ Duchy won’t know what hit her…”

“Yes, well, who would like some tea cakes?” The Rabbit asked, coming out with another silver tray.

“Oh, yes please!” the Hatter and Hare said in unison, both giggling and looking away from each other.

“After tea, we’ll play croquet and then there will be _entertainment_…” the Queen said with a sly grin.

“Your Majesty, what is the entertainment?” the Rabbit whispered to her.

“Well—YOU!”

“Me?!”

“Yes! Just do something to entertain us…anything…”

The White Rabbit looked faint as he wheeled himself away, muttering under his breath.

“The macarons are simply scrummy!” the Hatter said, holding up a pastel pink pastry. “Hey, Dormouse,” he said knocking on the side of his teapot. “Wanna try one?”

“Is the earth quake over?” the mouse squeaked, peeping out of the pot wearing a tiny yellow hardhat.

The Hatter flicked his eyes up to the Queen, who was busy stuffing her face with chocolate biscuits and powdered donuts, and grinned. “Yes, Dormouse, it’s over.” He handed him the macaron and nearly lost his finger when the mouse snapped the lid shut.

“Let’s hope croquet is less_ violent_…” the Hare leaned over and whispered as they both watched the Queen continue to stuff her face with a vengeance. 

“How true that is.”

***

\---The Hare---

Croquet proved to be just as violent—if not more so—than the Queen’s angry outburst at the table. She insisted on getting multiple shots until she won the game. The Tweedle’s lost their balls somewhere in the woods, insisting the Cheshire Cat must have stolen them; Alice was the judge as usual, and the White Rabbit carried the Queen’s things.

The Hatter and Hare came in second and third, respectively, and were pleasantly surprised to have not lost their balls.

“You see, it’s just all in the technique,” the Hatter said, hiking up his suit pants and bending over slightly. “It’s all in the follow through,” he said, swinging his mallet to hit an imaginary ball.

“The follow through…right…” the Hare replied, as he watched him in a daze. How had he never noticed what a cute bum the Hatter had? He really was in great shape…probably from all that jogging…

“Did you hear me, Hare?” the Hatter asked.

“Oh, um…what was that?”

“I said we need to order you a new mallet…that one of yours has seen better days.”

“Y-yes it has,” the Hare laughed nervously.

“Well, if we can ever get that shopping catalogue back from the Dormouse, we’ll look for a new one.”

“Sounds like a plan,” the Hare mumbled as he watched the Hatter adjust his pants. Finally, he just had to look away.

“Oh, I think it’s time for the entertainment!” the Hatter exclaimed, grabbing the Hare by the arm and tugging him forward. “Let’s go!”

They arrived back at the palace to find a small stage already set up with a few rows of white chairs in front of it.

“Now, everyone be seated!” the Queen commanded. “The Rabbit is going to entertain us!”

They heard a loud crash, and then the Rabbit appeared on the stage, looking anxious and wearing a top hat and pink boa.

“Well, this should be _interesting_…” the Hatter whispered.

The Hare gulped and fidgeted with his hands.

“Ladies and gentlemen…”

“And Dormice!” the mouse squeaked from his tea pot.

“Yes…and _Dormice_…I am going to…well, entertain you?” the Rabbit said rather unconvincingly as he gripped the boa.

“Well, be off with it!” the Queen snapped.

“Okay…for my first trick…I’m going to pull a bunny out of this hat…” he said, slowly pulling his top hat off his head and chuckling nervously.

There was a moment of silence, and then the Tweedles broke out into peels laughter, slapping their legs and throwing their heads back.

“I don’t get it!” the Queen barked.

“But your Majesty, he IS a bunny, and he’s _wearing_ a hat…” Alice said with a giggle.

“He pulled himself out of the hat!” Tweedle Dum said, amidst his hysterical laughter.

The Queen shot him a nasty look, instantly silencing him. 

The Rabbit, looking quite pleased with himself, tossed the feather boa over one shoulder and cleared his throat. “And for my next trick, I’ll…I’ll make something disappear…”

“Like WHAT?” the Queen barked.

“Like…um, this carrot!” he exclaimed, whipping one out of his inside vest pocket, and then proceeded to nibble it at warp speed until all that was left was the stem—which he threw into the audience with a flourish.

Tweedle Dum snatched it, waving it in the air excitedly, as if he’d just caught the bouquet at a wedding.

“That was amazing, Rabbit!” Dee said. “You really are a magician!”

The Rabbit blushed and did a low bow, the tips of ears nearly brushing the stage.

“Well, I think we’ve seen _enough_ entertainment for one party!” the Queen huffed, standing up.

“Yes, indeeeeed,” an invisible voice purred.

“Oh, YOU!” she snapped. “This party's over!”

“Well, this one lasted longer than the previous one…” the Hatter muttered.

“True. Last time we never made it past croquet,” the Hare whispered back.

“I think we should continue the party at _our_ place,” the Hatter said smirking.

“Our place?”

“Yes—yours and mine. _Our_ place.”

The Hare bit his lip and giggled. “Don’t forget the Dormouse.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” the Hatter said with a wink.

***


	3. Adjustments

***

\---The Hatter---

“So, you think you have everything you need?” the Hatter asked, standing in the doorway of his attic.

“Yes, I-I think I do,” the Hare said from his bed. “Except…well…do you have a night light? I’m…uh…afraid I’ll run into something if I need to get up in the middle of the night.”

“Oh, of course! I know I’ve got one somewhere…” the Hatter said, rummaging through a box on the floor. “Here it is!” he said holding up a small, plastic hat. “Let me just…plug it in…and…there we go! Will that do?”

“Y-yes that will be perfect,” the Hare stammered, glancing wearily at the glowing purple top hat now plugged into the wall.

“Anything else I can get you?” the Hatter asked, walking over to him and peering down wistfully, wishing he could stay a little longer.

The Hare was sitting on the bed fidgeting with his folded pajamas in his lap.

“N-no, I think I’m good…”

“Now, Hare,” the Hatter said sitting down on the bed next to him, “this is your home, too! You can use the bathroom, eat from the fridge…lie on the sofa…” He glanced sideways at him and blushed. “The point is…there’s no need to be _uncomfortable_…” he said bumping their shoulders together.

“Right…I know…and thank you…” the Hare said quickly, sitting up straighter and inhaling. “Well, it’s nearly my bedtime so I should probably get changed…”

“Alright…well I’ll leave you to it then,” the Hatter said standing up.

The Hare stood up quickly at the same time, and they both fell towards each other; the Hatter grabbed the Hare by the shoulders, steadying him.

“S-Sorry…” the Hare muttered, turning red and looking down.

“Well, you just let me know if you need anything else…like a bedtime story…or a glass of…water…” the Hatter gulped, staring down at him.

The Hare flicked his eyes up and grinned. “Okay…I will…”

“Goodnight then…” he said backing away.

“Bonne nuit!” the Hare said with a giggle. “That’s French for…_goodnight_…”

“Yes…I know…” the Hatter said with a smirk from the doorway. “Until tomorrow…”

“Yes…until tomorrow.”

As the Hatter walked back downstairs he couldn’t quit smiling. It felt like the Dormouse was doing a tap-dance in his stomach. He shook his head and went to the kitchen, opening the fridge with a frown.

He felt too giddy to eat.

Then he decided to make a cup of tea and go in the living room. He plopped down on the sofa with a heavy sigh and picked up the channel changer, thinking maybe there’d be something good on TV, but nothing caught his attention. Finally, he turned the TV off and sipped his Night Time tea, staring at the blue wallpaper.

He wondered what the Hare was doing at this very moment. Was he already asleep? Did he need anything else? Maybe he should go check…The Hare had seemed so nervous and he couldn’t really understand why. Unless maybe he was afraid of ghosts and thought the attic was haunted. After all, the Hatter wasn’t entirely sure that it _wasn’t_…He never did find out if the Cheshire Cat had been playing a trick on him, or if there really was a ghoul living in the attic closet…Maybe he should go tell the Hare, he wondered.

“No…I’m just looking for an excuse to bother him,” he muttered to himself with a frown. “I’ll just go get ready for bed,” he huffed, downing the last of his tea and leaving the empty cup on the table.

He went up to his room, which was on the second floor, and started rummaging around in his chest of drawers for some pajamas. He smiled when he found his favorite dressing gown; it was nearly floor length and covered in pastel hued tea cups.

After slipping it on, as well as his purple night-cap with a round, fluffy tassel, he padded to the bathroom to finish his routine. When he opened the bathroom door he let out a scream, as he ran right into the Hare, who was brushing his teeth.

The Hare shrieked with a mouth full of toothpaste and then quickly spat in the sink, making a choking noise.

“Hatter! What are you doing?”

“I came in here to brush my teeth! I had no idea you’d be in here!”

They quickly looked each other up and down and then anxiously tried to cover themselves.

“I…well…I thought it would be okay…” the Hare said crossing his arms over his chest.

“No…no…it is…I’m sorry for intruding…I should have knocked…I just have to get used to someone else being here,” he said.

The Hare smiled as foam dripped down his mouth.

“Here…” the Hatter said snatching a pink towel from the wall, “let me…just…” he said as he carefully wiped the Hare’s mouth.

“Thanks!” the Hare squeaked, blinking up at him.

“Mind if I share your sink?”

“Oh, not at all!” the Hare said turning the water back on and scooting to the side.

They both stood shoulder to shoulder—though the Hare was a head shorter than the Hatter—and brushed their teeth, grinning every time they looked at each other in the mirror.

“Well…goodnight…_again_…” the Hatter said shyly after wiping his mouth and moving to the doorway.

“Goodnight,” the Hare replied, glancing quickly at the Hatter’s dressing gown and then looking away. 

The Hatter swallowed hard and then briefly flicked his eyes to the Hare’s carrot covered pajama bottoms, thinking they fit him quite well. Then he hurried back to his bedroom and shut the door, leaning against it with his back. Why was his heart beating so fast?

He went to the mirror and looked at his reflection, frowning as he smoothed down his unkempt, blonde hair, and straightened his night-cap.

_“What must the Hare think of me?”_ he wondered, shaking his head.

And then he heard the Hare walking back up the stairs to the attic, and let out a sigh. It was certainly a strange feeling, knowing he would be one floor above him…sleeping. He pulled back his squashy purple duvet and jumped in bed, staring up at the ceiling and wondering if the Hare’s bed was directly over his, because if it was, it’d be like they were in bunk beds, and not really so far apart.

Though, _why_ he cared exactly how far apart they were, he wasn’t sure.

He rolled to his side and frowned.

Moonlight was shining through his window, illuminating half of the room. He turned to his other side with a grunt. No, that was the _boring_ wall, and he didn’t like to look at it. He turned to his back again and stared at the ceiling. He heard muffled footsteps, and then the creak of bed-springs. The Hare must have just gotten into bed.

He frowned.

No, this just wouldn’t do.

How could he ever get to sleep knowing the Hare was just right above him?

“Innnnnsomnia?” a voice purred from the darkness.

The Hatter flinched, pulling the covers up to his chin, sitting straight up. “Who’s there?” he hissed.

“Only meeeeee,” the Cheshire Cat hummed as he suddenly appeared hovering over the bed with a large, toothy grin.

“Oh…it’s _you_…I thought it might be the ghoul…”

“The ghoul?”

“Yes, the one that lives in the attic…” the Hatter snapped.

“I think you’re mistaken, dear Hatter…that’s _the_ _Hare_ in your attic, tossing and turning and muttering about hats…”

“What?! No, I _KNOW_ Hare’s not a ghoul! That’s not what I meant…but wait, he’s tossing…and…and turning? And what’s he saying exactly?”

“That’s none of myyyyy business…” the Cat said with a sly grin.

“Well you’re the ONE that brought it up!” the Hatter spat, pursing his lips and crossing his arms.

“Well you both seem to be having the same…_issue_…” the Cat crooned.

“Oh, really? And what would that be?” the Hatter asked exasperatedly.

“Figure it out for yourseeeeelves…” the Cat purred, as he slowly disappeared, with only his large, bulbous green eyes glowing in the darkness. And then he vanished.

“A lot of help you are!” the Hatter huffed, pumping his fist in the air. He fell back onto his pillows and shut his eyes tight, willing sleep to come, but he couldn’t stop thinking about what the Cat had said.

Why was the Hare having a hard time sleeping, too? And what _issue_ did they both share?

He rolled to his side again and stared at the moon.

“I’ll figure it out tomorrow,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was still red-faced from his run-in with the Hatter in the bathroom and every time he thought about it, he wanted to giggle. He pulled the quilt up to his chin and stared at the ceiling, but the image of the Hatter, standing there in his dressing gown, wouldn’t leave his brain. It was the first time he could ever remember seeing his bare legs and feet. He wanted to laugh just thinking about it, but he wasn’t sure _why_.

The Hatter looked so different without his top hat on, too…He’d never realized how nice his blonde hair was. Suddenly, he wondered what it _felt_ like…and what kind of shampoo did he use, anyway?

The Hare absently ran his fingers through his own hair and sighed. Then he turned to his side and frowned. Maybe living together wasn’t the _best_ idea. What if their friendship changed somehow? What if they grew tired of one another? Then he smiled to himself, thinking he could never be sick of the Hatter. He enjoyed his company more than anyone else’s in all of Wonderland.

He’d never forget the first day they met…

The Hare had been visiting Wonderland for the annual Gardening Festival; eager to get some new vegetable seeds for his mother’s garden. He had been walking along the road, when he came upon someone that seemed to be in a conundrum.

The Hatter was standing under a tree, and appeared to be having a rather spirited conversation with it.

“Now, if you’ll just give me back my hat—I’ll be on my way!” he shouted, his gloved hands resting on his hips.

The Hare looked at the tree, and then back at the strange man in the purple suit, and frowned. “Sir, can I help you?” he asked stepping towards him.

“Oh, hello!” the Hatter said, turning towards him. “I’m just trying to get my hat back…”

“B-but, Sir…there’s nothing there…”

“There certainly is! He took my hat as a joke!”

“_Who_ took your hat?”

“Well, the Cat, of course! He just loves to steal things.”

“I don’t steeeeaaaal things,” a voice purred. “I simply _borrow_ them,” the Cat said, appearing with a huge grin and wearing the Hatter’s top hat on his furry head.

“Listen, Cat, I have no time for jest. I’m on my way to the Gardening Fest! The Dormouse _needs_ sunflower seeds! Now hand over my hat!”

“I’m on my way there, too!” the Hare said as he watched the Cat in wonder.

“And whooo are youuuu?” the Cat purred.

“Oh, I’m the March Hare…I’m just visiting…” he said looking anxiously between the Cat and the Hatter.

“Well, I’m the Mad Hatter!” the Hatter said smiling warmly and shaking his hand rather furiously several times. “And, _this_ is the Cheshire Cat…”

“Nice to meet you both!” he said grinning.

The Hatter stared at him quizzically for a moment, and then looked back up to the Cat. “My hat, please?”

“Alright, fiiiine!” the Cat said with a sniff, and then there was a “pop” and the hat appeared in the Hatter’s outstretched, gloved hand. He promptly put it back on his head, bopped it once, and turned to the Hare. “Shall we go together?”

“Yes, that would be rather nice…”

The Cat grinned impishly, “I’ll see you around, Haaaaare!” he said with a cackle before disappearing.

“But I won’t be staying…I’m just here for…” the Hare faded off.

“That’s what _yoooooou_ think…” the Cat’s voice echoed.

“Don’t mind him…he’s just bitter he’s never been able to catch the _Dormouse_…” the Hatter said, twitching his mouth to the side.

“Who’s the Dormouse?”

“Oh, you’ll love him! He lives in a tea pot on my tea table! After the festival, I’ll take you there…if you’d like?”

“Okay…I’d like that…” the Hare said, glancing up at him, shyly.

“C’mon, March Hare, let’s go! I think this is going to be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!”

The Hare grinned happily but he could have sworn he heard the Cat snickering.

And from then on, they were the best of friends and nearly inseparable; the Hare only ever left town to visit his mother. They were almost always in each other’s company, and when they weren’t, people thought it was rather odd. The Hare had learned to love tea and the Hatter had learned to love vegetables—he even made special carrot tea cakes just for the Hare.

Together, they made an unbeatable team.

“And nothing will ever change that…” the Hare murmured, as he drifted off to sleep.

***

\---The Hatter---

When the Hatter opened his door the next morning, he nearly jumped out of his dressing gown at seeing the Hare standing in the hallway.

“Oh!” they both yelped in unison.

“I…I was just going to use the bathroom,” the Hare said.

The Hatter rubbed his eyes and blinked. The Hare’s hair was even bushier than normal, sticking up in all directions, and he wasn’t wearing his glasses.

“No…no, go right ahead…”

“Thanks!” the Hare squeaked before slamming the bathroom door shut in his face.

The Hatter smacked his lips and grimaced. He really needed his mouth wash.

He padded back to his bedroom and looked at himself in the mirror, gasping when he saw his reflection. His hair was just as wild and unruly looking as the Hare’s. A look of horror crossed his face at the thought of the Hare seeing him in such a topsy-turvy state. He grabbed his brush and quickly tried to fix it.

“All done!” the Hare’s voice came from the hallway, making him jump straight up. He tightened his robe around himself and walked back out of his room.

The Hare looked like a drowned rat.

Clearly, in an attempt to fix his hair, he’d gotten it very wet and slicked it back—even his ears were wilted. He squinted his eyes at the Hatter and pursed his lips, as if trying to read him.

“Rough night?” the Hatter asked, his voice so raspy it caught him by surprise.

“I’ll say! I-I mean, I’ll just have to get used to sleeping in a _new_ place…that’s all…What kept you up?”

“A ghoul…”

“Really?”

“Yes, I think there might be one under my bed…I’ll have to ask the Tweedle’s to check it out, they have some kind of ghoul removing kit,” the Hatter said stifling a yawn.

“Oh…”

“I’ll start breakfast as soon as I finish up in here,” the Hatter said trying to smooth down his hair with much agitation. 

“Okay, I’ll see you then,” the Hare replied with a grin before trotting up the stairs.

The Hatter stared at the back of his blue robe and sighed.

Living with someone would definitely take some getting used to, but if he were to live with anyone, he was glad it was the Hare.

***

\---The Hare---

Even though the Hare was exhausted from his restless night of sleep, he still felt giddy. He wasn’t sure if he should get dressed or wear his robe to breakfast. Though, a robe did seem like proper breakfast attire. And what did the Hatter eat for breakfast anyway? He’d never been to his house this early before.

He started chuckling when he thought about how the Hatter had looked first thing in the morning…His blonde hair sticking out in all directions, his blue eyes droopy…and that raspy voice. A tingle went up his spine at the remembrance of it. He gripped the dresser to stabilize himself and absently looked in the mirror, gasping in horror at what a drowned rat he looked like. He grabbed a blue hand towel and started ferociously trying to dry his hair.

“What must the Hatter think of me?!” he muttered.

Finally, he headed back down the stairs, anxious to see what the Hatter was doing, the smell of something wonderful catching his attention.

When he walked into the kitchen he found the Hatter bustling about in his purple bathrobe, flipping pancakes and making coffee at the same time.

“Smells delicious!” the Hare said smiling dreamily.

“Oh! Hello! I’ll have it done in a jiffy—just have a seat…”

“Is there anything I can help you with?” the Hare asked, moving closer to him.

The Hatter’s eyes grew wide and his mouth opened slightly, “Oh…um…cups…get the cups…”

“You want me to get the coffee cups?”

“Y-yes…coffee cups,” the Hatter said with that strange expression still on his face.

“Okay, but I don’t know where they are?” the Hare said staring up at him.

There was a sizzling and snapping sound and the Hatter jumped, glancing down to see his pancake smoking. He laughed nervously, quickly flipping it over, revealing a scorched side.

“There—in the cabinet!” he said pointing, before turning his attention back to the blackened pancake.

The Hare frowned. Why was the Hatter acting so jittery and nervous…and so unlike himself?

“Found them!” he said taking a pair of blue and purple coffee cups off the shelf.

“Don’t forget me!” a tiny voice squeaked.

“Oh, Dormouse! I didn’t know you’d be joining us!” the Hare said, turning around to see the giant blue tea pot on the center of the kitchen table.

The little mouse held out an empty pink tea cup. “Just a drop or I’ll be in a frenzy all day!”

The Hare picked up the coffee pot and carefully poured a splash into the mouse’s tiny cup.

“How’s that?”

“Perfect! Thank you!” he said before disappearing into his pot.

“Do you think this will be enough pancakes?” the Hatter asked, turning around and holding out a plate of pancakes stacked nearly two feet tall.

“Um, yes, I think that will _definitely_ be enough,” the Hare said gaping with wide eyes. “Hatter, you’ve really outdone yourself!”

The Hatter blushed furiously and cleared his throat, “Thank you.”

They both sat down at the table and stared at each other anxiously.

“Bon appetit!” the Hatter finally said.

The Hare giggled and picked up the syrup bottle, drizzling syrup all over his thick stack of fluffy pancakes. He picked up his knife and fork and cut out a wedge, carefully placing it in his mouth. “Oh, Hatter! These are divine! So buttery…so sweet…” he said smacking his lips. “Simply scrummy!”

The Hatter turned a darker shade of red and smirked as he continued to drench his pancakes in syrup. “Good, I’m glad you like them…” he said shyly.

The Dormouse popped out of his tea pot holding a plate, “Pancakes, please!” he said in a speedy voice. “Pancaaaaakes!”

“Hold your horses, Dormouse,” the Hatter said as he carefully cut a piece of pancake.

“I don’t _have_ any horses!” the little mouse squeaked, wiggling from side to side as if her were dancing.

“No, Dormouse, it’s just an _expression_,” the Hare replied. “Like, _calm down_…”

“I AM calm! I am!” the mouse said hastily.

“Dormouse, you’ve had too much coffee again,” the Hatter said with a grin, as he placed the minuscule slice of pancake onto the mouse’s plate.

“NEVER!” the little mouse shouted before snapping his lid shut.

The Hatter and Hare both looked at each other and then started laughing.

“More coffee?” the Hare asked, standing up.

“Well, sure but you don’t have to—”

“It’s no bother!” he said, quickly filling the purple coffee cup in the Hatter’s hand.

The Hatter glanced up at him with a look of wonder, and then bit his lip and quickly looked away.

“So, what do you usually do after breakfast?” the Hare asked, sitting down again.

“Well, I read the newspaper…and wait for _you_…”

“Oh!” he laughed nervously. “Well, what shall we do today?”

“Whatever you like,” the Hatter said, staring at him intensely from behind his purple mug.

The Hare squirmed in his seat and straightened the napkin in his lap. “Well, how about we just wait for adventure to find us?”

“It always does,” the Hatter replied with a sly smirk.

“How true that is!”

The Hatter’s mouth fell open slightly, clearly shocked the Hare had just used his own trademark expression, and then they both burst out laughing.

***


	4. An Honest Mistake

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was sitting at the tea table with his legs crossed and the Wonderland Bee held up to his face, but he wasn’t really comprehending what he was reading. He couldn’t suppress the giddy feeling in his stomach. It felt like a thousand butterflies were tickling his insides and he simply wanted to dance, or maybe burst out into song. How long were they going to sit and wait for adventure, anyway?

He wanted to jump up and do something fun with the Hare _right now._

“Anything interesting in the paper?” the Hare asked as he lazily sipped some tea with his feet propped up on the table.

“Hmm?”

“The paper?”

“Oh, no…nothing really…Just something about the Queen hosting a fashion show…”

“What?!” the Hare exclaimed, making the Hatter jump.

“Well it says the Queen will be hosting the Best Dressed in Wonderland next month at the palace…”

“Well, gee…I bet she’s gonna want _your_ help with that…” the Hare said placing his tea cup on the table.

“Mmm, yeah maybe,” the Hatter said absently.

“Hatter?”

“Mmm?”

“The Dormouse just flew out of his tea pot on the back of a rocket, and he’s headed for the moon…”

“That’s nice…wait, what?” the Hatter asked, jerking the paper down from his face.

“I just wanted to see if you were listening,” the Hare said with a sly grin.

The Hatter pursed his lips together and flushed. “Of course I am! I’m just a bit…”

“Distracted?”

“Yes!”

“Is it the ghoul?”

“The what?”

“The ghoul…under your bed…keeping you up all night?”

“Oh, right….No, it’s not that…”

“Well, then what is it?” the Hare asked, standing up and moving closer to him.

The Hatter’s mouth suddenly went dry. How could he just tell the Hare that he was distracted by…well…_the Hare_?

“We’re best friends…you can tell me anything…” the Hare said kindly, resting his hand on the Hatter’s purple, puffed sleeve.

The Hatter gulped as he glanced up at him.

No, this was _one_ thing he didn’t think he could share.

“I…I…”

“Hatter! Hare!” a voice came, interrupting their moment. It was Tweedle Dee and he was carrying a guitar, accompanied by Tweedle Dum.

“Oh, hello, Dee, Dum!” the Hatter said, quickly standing up and tipping his hat. “What can I…I mean…_we_ do for you?”

“Well I was wondering if you could tune my guitar?” Tweedle Dee asked, holding out the instrument.

“Of course I can!” the Hatter said smiling.

“Thank you!” the Tweedles said in unison. “The Queen asked us to play something special for her fashion show.”

“Take all the time you need with it!” Dum added.

“Well, we have a _favor_ to ask of you!” the Hare said stepping forward and wringing his hands. “You see, there’s a _ghoul_ living under the Hatter’s bed...”

“Really?” the Tweedles both said.

The Hatter scrunched his face and started to squirm; he didn’t really want the Tweedles to go searching for a ghoul…it was all just an excuse for his restless night after all. It wasn’t a ghoul that had kept him up, but _thoughts of the Hare_…

“Yes, really! It kept the Hatter up all night! And as you can see, he’s still distressed over it,” the Hare said staring up at him anxiously. 

“Don’t worry, Hatter! We’ll take care of it! We just need to run home and get our ghoul detecting kit. We’ll have it cleared out of your room in no time!” Tweedle Dee said excitedly.

“No time!” Dum added with a hip pop and a wave of his hands.

“Th-thanks,” the Hatter said, swallowing hard. He glanced sideways at the Hare, who was smiling proudly, clutching his jacket lapels as if he’d just saved the day.

“We’ll be back later!” the Tweedles said before trotting off.

“Don’t be shy about the ghoul, Hatter,” the Hare whispered by his ear. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s my real reason for wanting a night light, after all,” he said blushing and hugging himself.

The Hatter looked down at him, instantly endeared, and smiled wistfully. Ghoul or no ghoul he was glad the Hare cared about his well-being in the first place. It felt nice to be looked after. “Thank you for taking care of me,” he said softly.

A look of surprise crossed the Hare’s face as he stared up at him. “S-sure…that’s what friends are for, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, I guess you should get to _tuning_…”

“Oh, right!” he said, realizing he was still holding onto the guitar. He walked over to the tea table and swept a pile of dishes to the floor. He then sat down, and rested the guitar on his knees, fiddling with the strings for a bit.

“Play something slow!” the Dormouse squeaked as he peeped out of his tea pot.

“Something slow? Hmm, I’m not sure I know many slow ones…Oh, here’s one,” he said with a dreamy look on his face. “It’s something my mother used to sing me to sleep with when I was just a wee Hatter…”

The Hare sat down in a pastel chair and rested his chin in his hands, clearly eager to hear him sing.

The Hatter cleared his throat and strummed a note.

“Goodnight sweet Hatter, be carried away…to a beautiful wonderland, where you can always stay. Lay on a moonbeam and dance on a cloud, create lots of hats, and make us so proud…Goodnight sweet Hatter, it’s time to go to sleep, shut your eyes now, rest your head now, and don’t say a peep…”

When he opened his eyes again he was startled to find the Hare gazing up at him with the most peculiar expression. It made him feel hot and embarrassed.

“Well, that’s all I can remember of it anyway,” he said nervously, biting his lip and feeling the heat rise to his face.

“That…was…_wonderful_,” the Hare sighed, still staring at him strangely.

“Well…thanks,” he said blushing. “Dormouse, what did you think?”

“He fell asleep,” the Hare said, looking over at the tiny mouse, draped over the edge of his teapot, snoring softly.

“Well, I didn’t mean to have _that_ effect…” the Hatter said frowning.

“No, it’s just…it was a _lullaby_…and you sang it so exquisitely…”

“Exquisitely?”

“Yes,” the Hare said standing up and moving closer to him, as if in a daze. “I had no idea you could sing like that…” he said resting his hand lightly on top of his shoulder.

“Well…I…I rarely do…” the Hatter replied, feeling extremely warm. He sat the guitar on the table and started removing his jacket. “Feels like summertime all the sudden…” he said with a nervous chuckle.

“Oh, here, let me help you,” the Hare said, pulling the jacket off, and then carefully draping it over the back of a chair.

The Hatter gulped and looked away.

“Will you play something else?” the Hare asked with large, round eyes.

“Well, let me see…Oh, there’s one about a weasel and a tin can…”

The Hare giggled and sat back down in the chair, propping his chin in his hands. “I’m sure it’s wonderful,” he said dreamily.

“Yes…well…weasels are rather _fascinating_ creatures…”

“No they aren’t!” the Dormouse squeaked. “Have you ever been _chased_ by one?!” he said holding his tiny hand to his heart.

“Well, no…I can’t say that I have,” the Hatter said twisting his mouth to the side and scrunching his brows.

“Terrible creatures…” the Hare muttered with a smile, still gazing dreamily at the Hatter.

“Hare! I thought you’d think better of them…I mean, since you are _related_.”

The Hare promptly came to, as if snapping out of a spell, “Excuse me?”

“Well, I just mean…you’re all a part of the _vermin family_?”

The Hare’s mouth hit the floor. “I AM NOT A VERMIN!”

“I…I’m sorry…I just thought…”

“I’m a HARE not a…a RAT!”

“Who are you calling a RAT?” the Dormouse shouted before angrily snapping his lid shut.

The Hatter continued to gape at the Hare, completely stunned at how quickly things had escalated. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean it like that!” he pleaded. “I didn’t mean to offend you!”

“Well you certainly did!” the Hare said crossing his arms and pursing his lips. “I think I’ll go take a walk…”

“But wait, I could play you another song!”

“No, thank you. I’ve heard enough for one day,” he said, and then stomped off and out the garden gate.

The Hatter’s shoulders drooped as he leaned against the table. How was he going to fix this? Maybe he could write a special song and sing it to the Hare…Surely that would help.

“Hi, Hatter!” Dee said, as he and Dum suddenly appeared, carrying a large metal contraption covered in brightly covered knobs and pulleys. “We’re gonna find that ghoul!”

“Oh…that’s nice,” the Hatter said absently.

“Where was the Hare going? He sure seemed determined!” Dum said.

“Well…we kind of…had a fight…” the Hatter said wincing.

“You two? A fight? But you never fight!”

“Well, we did…”

“What happened?” Dee asked.

“I…I accidentally called him a _vermin_…”

“WHAT?!” they both said in unison.

“I don’t see what the PROBLEM is?” the Dormouse squeaked, before disappearing back into his pot again.

“Well the _problem_ is that he’s a _hare_…not a rat or a mouse…he’s technically a leporid, part of the genus Lepus…classified in the same family as rabbits…” Dum trailed off.

Both the Hatter and Tweedle Dee were staring at him in shock, their mouths hanging open.

“What?” Dum asked with a shrug.

“You know, for being named ‘Dum’ you aren’t…you know, _dumb_…” the Hatter said frowning.

“Um, thanks?” Tweedle Dum said apprehensively.

“Okay, so he’s not a _vermin_,” the Hatter said dramatically, “but how do I FIX this?”

“Well, you know the Hare better than anybody…you’ll figure it out!” Tweedle Dee said with a shrug. “Now, we have a ghoul to catch!” he said excitedly before he and Tweedle Dum disappeared into the house.

“Just great,” the Hatter muttered.

How in the world was he going to make up for calling the Hare by the wrong _species_? It was an honest mistake…he just had to make the Hare understand that.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare had been so angry he hadn’t even been paying attention to where he was going, and was completely surprised when he looked up and saw the Caterpillar looming over him.

“Goooooing somewhere?” the giant green worm droned.

“As a matter of fact—I am! Some place far, far away from the Hatter!” he said plopping down on a giant mushroom.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“It’s no _paradise_! Well…it sort of was, for a while…we had a lovely breakfast...and then he called me a _vermin_…and I just don’t understand how he could think that…” the Hare continued, muttering to himself.

“This reminds me of a stooooory,” the Caterpillar said, handing a large golden book up to his top most hands.

The Hare sighed, “Alright, if you think it will help…”

“There once was a beetle named Janet and she was best friends with a lady bug named Sally. They were inseparable and did everything together…and then one day, Janet accidentally called Sally a firefly, and Sally was so offended that she flew off and decided they could no longer be friends. Janet cried and cried because she missed her friend, but alas, there was nothing she could do. Over time, Sally realized Janet had only made an _honest mistake_, and it was no reason they couldn’t still be friends. After all, what was so wrong with being a firefly? So she returned home, much to Janet’s delight, and they lived happily ever after…”

The Hare sat in silence for a moment.

“So…what you’re saying is…_I’m_ the LADY bug in this story?” the Hare snapped.

“Well…yes…but did you understand the meannnnning of the stoooorrrry?”

“Yes! I’m a _lady bug_ and the Hatter’s a _beetle_…You know, Caterpillar, I don’t know _where_ you come up with this stuff…” the Hare snapped, promptly standing up and stomping away.

The Caterpillar sighed heavily and handed himself a mushroom capped martini.

The Hare was now not only mad at the Hatter, but at the _Caterpillar_ as well— who clearly didn’t even know what _gender_ he was…

In one day, he’d had his species _and_ gender questioned…what was next?

Would they question the color of his hair as well?

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter had nearly knocked all of the tea cups and dishes onto the floor as he’d been writhing around on the tea table, trying to think of a way to make amends with the Hare. 

“Would you stop moving around! I’m trying to _PAINT_ in here!” the Dormouse hollered.

“Oh, sorry, Dormouse…” the Hatter huffed, lying on his back.

“Hey, maybe I should paint a picture for the Hare! That might work! Hey—” he said rolling over to his stomach, and tapping on the blue teapot. “Can you spare any paint?”

“Sorry! I don’t have enough to share!” the mouse squeaked.

The Hatter huffed and dug his hands in his hair.

“We’d like to report your house is ghoul free!” the Tweedles said, suddenly appearing.

“Oh…that’s nice,” the Hatter muttered, rolling off the table with a groan.

“Hatter, you don’t look too good,” Tweedle Dum said, looking him up and down.

The Hatter scowled at him and tried to smooth down his hair.

“Anyway, we didn’t find any _ghouls_…just a lot of junk under yours and the Hare’s bed…Well, see you! The Queen needs her throne room inspected! She said she keeps hearing strange noises at night, and her chocolates keep disappearing…”

“But…the ghoul was under _my_ bed…not the _Hare’s_,” the Hatter trailed off with a sigh, wondering what kind of mess the Tweedles must have left.

He ran up to the attic and gasped. There was debris everywhere—not that the attic was exactly tidy anyway—but now it looked like a small tornado had come through.

“What a mess!” he said with his hands on his hips.

He knew that the Hare would literally faint if he saw what they’d done, so he quickly set to work putting things back in their place. He straightened the quilt on the Hare’s bed, and carefully put his books back on the shelf, and he was just putting his suitcase under the bed, when something red caught his eye.

It was the velvet, heart-shaped box the Hare had nervously stuffed under his bed the day before.

“Oh yes…his _memorabilia_,” he said, curiously reaching out for it.

The box was opened and the contents spilled out onto the floor. His heart stopped when he turned over a Polaroid picture.

It was of him.

He remembered when the Hare had taken it—it had been an especially good hair day and he was grinning large for the camera. But why would the Hare have this picture in his box? He picked up a tea cozy and piece of a broken pink tea cup, wondering what their sentimental value was. There was even the old ticket stub from the very first Gardening Festival they went to…and a dried rose that he remembered picking for him one summer evening in the garden…

“Why does all his memorabilia have to do with me?” he muttered.

“Loooooking for something?” a voice purred.

The Hatter jumped straight up and snapped the box shut. “No! I was just…”

“Snooping?”

“No! Putting the Hare’s things back where they belong...the Tweedles made a mess…”

“Riiiiiight,” the grinning cat crooned. “Don’t worry, your _secrets_ safe with _me_…”

“I have nothing to hide!” the Hatter hissed.

“Of course you doooon’t,” the cat purred before disappearing.

The Hatter huffed and stuffed the velvet box back under the bed. His heart was beating in his ears and he couldn’t think straight.

He needed to sit down.

So he sat on the Hare’s bed and frowned. Why did the Hare keep those things?

But was it really so strange? They were _best friends_ after all and did everything together…so of course the Hare’s memorabilia would include him. But why did he have a picture of him and why did he keep all of it in a red velvet, heart-shaped box?

It all seemed so…so _romantic_…

Deep in thought, he absently leaned to the side and rested his head on the Hare’s pillow, inhaling deeply.

It smelled like him.

“Woodsy…and wonderful…” he murmured, before closing his eyes.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare’s stomach grumbled and he found himself standing back at the gate to the Hatter’s house. Maybe he could just grab a few sandwiches and run, he thought. It didn’t look like anyone was around.

“Hello?” he said, but there was no answer. The Dormouse was probably taking his noon o’clock power nap.

He walked over to the table, grabbed a plate, and started piling it high with tea sandwiches.

“Getting a snaaaaaack?” a voice purred.

The Hare jumped straight up with a yelp, throwing his plate of sandwiches in the air, and watching as one by one, they fell to the ground.

“Well, I _was_!” he huffed.

“Maybe you should see if the Hatter has some mooooore…”

“Well, we’re not exactly speaking at the moment…”

“I seeeeee…well if you wanted to speak to him, I think I last saw him in your roooooom…”

“My…my room? But why?”

“Seeeee for yourseeeelf,” the cat purred, and then there was a “pop” and a sandwich appeared balanced on his paw. “Wouldn’t want to waste these!” he said grinning. 

The Hare pursed his lips and stomped into the house, hell-bent on yelling at the Hatter again—though, he wasn’t sure exactly what about…he just still felt the need to let off some steam.

When he opened the door to the attic, the last thing he expected to see was the Hatter sleeping soundly on his bed. He was lying on his side, with his hand tucked under the pillow, and a small smile on his lips. His hair was a mess and his hat was nowhere to be seen, and the Hare had the strange and inexplicable urge to reach out his hand and run his fingers through his silken blonde hair.

He tip-toed closer and bent down over him. “Hatter?” he whispered, but he didn’t stir. Why was he sleeping in his bed in the first place? Was it possible that he already missed him? But he’d only been gone a few hours…surely not, he thought.

The Hare frowned and exhaled. Maybe he should just let him sleep. He looked so peaceful.

He suddenly felt silly for getting so mad earlier. The Hatter said senseless things sometimes, but that wasn’t enough of a reason to not be friends with him…

He decided right then and there that he would forgive him and put this little tiff behind them.

The floorboard creaked under his foot, causing the Hatter's eyes to flutter open. 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” the Hare said anxiously. “I didn’t mean to wake you…”

“No…no, I’m the one in _your_ bed,” the Hatter said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “I…I must have dozed off…I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about!” the Hare said smiling sheepishly.

“Listen,” they both said at the same time.

“You go first,” the Hare said turning red.

“I just wanted to say—I’m sorry for what I said…It was insensitive…Tweedle Dum explained to me all about leporids and Lepuses…and I just feel foolish for not knowing…Can you forgive me?”

The Hare gaped at him for a moment. “Of course!” he finally said. “It was an honest mistake!”

He sat down on the bed next to him with their shoulders touching.

“You’re _really_ not mad at me anymore?” the Hatter asked, turning towards him.

“No…I couldn’t stay mad at you…you’re my _best friend_…we’re inseparable.”

“How true that is,” the Hatter said narrowing his eyes.

The Hare began to melt as he smiled up at him.

“I…I was going to write you a song but couldn’t find the words…I was too upset…and then I was going to paint you a picture, but the Dormouse wouldn’t share his paint…”

“Well, it’s the _thought_ that counts,” the Hare said, staring deeply into his blue eyes, mesmerized.

“It’s been a backward sort of day,” the Hatter said unblinkingly.

“Tell me about it! First you call me a _vermin_, and then the Caterpillar calls me a _lady_…and the Cat was being such a—"

“The Caterpillar called you a _lady_?!” 

“Well…yes…sort of…it was in one of his nonsensical stories…You were a beetle and I was a lady bug and we had a fight because you called me a firefly, I left, then came back and we…we…made up and lived happily ever after…”

The Hatter cocked a brow.

“Well, okay, I guess that one made sense…But you know the Caterpillar was drinking, and it wasn’t even noon!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

They both stared at each other for a moment and then broke into grins.

“So…are we…_good_ now?” the Hatter asked, biting his lip.

“Definitely!” the Hare said patting the Hatter’s knee with his hand and then quickly moving it away.

“Would you like some lunch?”

“Yes! I’m starving!” the Hare said jumping up. “But I think the Cat ate all your tea sandwiches.”

“That’s okay,” the Hatter said, standing up awfully close to him, “I have more in the fridge…”

The Hare fidgeted with his hands and then finally looked up at him. The Hatter had the most peculiar expression on his face. He looked like he’d had one too many of the Caterpillar’s mushroom martinis.

“I’m glad you’re back,” the Hatter said softly, and then suddenly, he flung his arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

The Hare was so surprised that he froze on the spot, yet the Hatter still continued to cling on. The Hare finally relaxed and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him closer. “I’m glad to be back, too,” he murmured by the Hatter’s ear, getting a whiff of his sweet, cupcake smelling scent, and feeling faint.

He felt the Hatter tremble slightly before he slowly released him and pulled back. “Lunch?” he asked in a low voice.

“Lunch,” the Hare repeated, still holding firmly onto his waist. He finally dropped his hands down and shoved them into his own pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels, feeling nervous again.

The Hatter looked as if he wanted to say something more, but instead, he smiled wistfully and turned towards the door. 

The Hare wondered what had caused his sudden change of mood…Had he really missed him that much?

And he also wondered if the Hatter was feeling the same thing that he was…because if so…there was no telling where they would end up.

It certainly wouldn’t be any place they’d been before.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was so relieved they’d made up that his heart felt fit to burst.

He hoped he would never say anything to hurt the Hare ever again, because he hadn’t realized until that day, that losing him would be the _worst_ possible thing that could ever happen.

He was feeling all kinds of strange, new things but he didn’t know what to do about them; one minute he’d feel as high as a kite and then the next, positively dizzy. He wondered if the Hare could possibly be feeling the same things, but he wouldn’t dare ask him, because what if he wasn’t? The Hatter would simply die of embarrassment.

“More tea?”

“Yes, please!” the Hare said, grinning at him.

“Two sugar cubes and a splash of cream?” the Hatter asked.

“You know just how I like it…”

“How true that is!” the Hatter said, and then promptly turned bright red and bit his lip.

“So did the Tweedle’s have any luck with the ghoul situation?”

“They said we’re in the clear!” the Hatter replied, setting the teapot back on the table. He adjusted his bow tie and cleared his throat.

“Did they find anything?”

“Well no…not _exactly_…but…listen Hare, I need to ask you about something…”

“Yes?”

The Hatter suddenly lost all of his courage. He’d desperately wanted to bring up the velvet box and its contents, but then realized he didn’t want to appear like he was snooping, _or_ make the Hare feel uncomfortable.

“I…I was wondering if you’d help me design something for the Queen’s fashion show?”

“Of course I will! But _you’re_ the expert…”

“Yes, but I can always use an extra hand…”

“Well I’ve got one of those!” the Hare said pulling out a fake plastic hand from his coat pocket and grinning.

“Thanks, Hare, but I meant…_I_ _need_ _you_…to help me, I mean…”

The Hare’s face went serious as he stared at him for a moment. He then shoved the hand back in his pocket and held up his own. “Well, you’ve got me!” he said smiling.

The Hatter squirmed in his seat and fiddled with his tea cup. “Thanks,” he said shyly, unable to look at him.

“More sugar, please!” the Dormouse said, peeping out of his pot and holding his tea cup in the air.

“Are you sure, Dormouse? You’ve already had _two_ lumps…” the Hare said picking up the sugar cube bowl.

“I’m sure! I have a high tolerance!”

“Here you go…” the Hare said, handing him a cube almost as large as he was.

“Thanks!” the mouse said before disappearing.

“Hey, don’t you usually go for a morning jog?” the Hare asked.

“Oh…yes, I do…but this morning was _special_…I…I mean different…”

“Well, I can go with you tomorrow if you like…I don’t want to mess up your schedule…”

“That sounds nice…” the Hatter said glancing sideways at him.

“But if you’d rather go alone, I understand.”

“No! I mean…I’d rather do things with _you_…” the Hatter said feeling like his throat was closing up. He flicked his eyes towards the Hare and smiled.

“Okay…well you just let me know if I’m being a nuisance…I don’t want my living here to affect our…_friendship_.”

The Hatter couldn’t help but think that their living together already _was_ affecting their friendship…but maybe not in the way the Hare meant.

He exhaled and stared right into the Hare’s eyes. “I want you to live here,” he said boldly. “Even if we fight, even if we get on each other’s nerves…even if I say _dumb_ things,” he said with a smirk, “I still want you here.”

And then he waited with baited breath for the Hare’s reply.

“I…I’m glad…because I _want_ to be here…I want to make this work,” the Hare said as he reached out his hand and laid it on top of the Hatter’s. “There’s no place I’d rather be,” he said emphatically.

The Hatter let out a shaky exhale and continued staring at him.

“Good…I’m glad we’re on the same page,” he finally said.

“Yes, indeed!” the Hare said blushing and quickly removing his hand.

The Hatter could barely contain his delirious grin, so he picked up a cucumber sandwich and promptly shoved it in his mouth.

***


	5. A Race and an Injury

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare had been so excited about jogging with the Hatter that he’d barely slept. He jumped out of bed at the crack of dawn and started putting together his outfit. He hoped the Hatter would approve of his neon orange sweat suit.

After lacing up his white, high-top sneakers, he bounded down the stairs and looked around for any sign of life. But the house was still and the only sound was the ticking of a large, round clock on the living room wall. He frowned and put his hands on his hips.

Surely the Hatter hadn’t left without him…

He heard a door shut and looked up the stairs to see the Hatter emerging from his room, clad in his purple bathrobe with wild hair, and half closed eyes.

“Oh, good morning, Hatter!” he said cheerily.

The Hatter jumped and spun around, squinting his eyes. “Oh, Hare…you’re up early,” he said, clearing his throat and trying to smooth down his hair. “I’ll be ready in just a bit,” he said in a low, scratchy voice.

“Take your time!” the Hare said giddily. He felt like he could run a mile and be back before the Hatter had even brushed his teeth.

Instead, he paced around the kitchen and kept checking his reflection in the side of the toaster.

“I didn’t realize you were such an early riser,” the Hatter said, coming down the stairs with a yawn.

“Well…I do usually like to wake up with the sun…When I was just a wee hare I’d go out to the garden first thing every morning, and check my carrots…” he said excitedly with a huge grin.

The Hatter smiled sleepily and rubbed his eyes. “We still need to plant you a garden...”

“Oh, well…you don’t have to do that,” the Hare said blushing and wringing his hands.

He eagerly watched the Hatter pour a glass of water, and couldn’t help but notice how well his purple sweat suit fit him. The pants were rather tight. 

“Of _course_ we’re going to make you a garden!” the Hatter said, turning around and leaning against the cabinet. “We could even get the Tweedles to help if you wanted…or we could just do it together…” he said, quickly flicking his eyes up and then looking away.

“We could turn it into a gardening party!”

“I like that!” the Hatter said grinning. “Any excuse to throw a party!”

The Hare blushed and fidgeted with his rainbow striped sweatband on his forehead.

“Well, are you ready to go?” the Hatter asked, putting his empty glass on the cabinet and adjusting his sweatshirt.

“Ready! And now you don’t have to go slow for me!” the Hare said.

“I think it might be the other way around!” the Hatter replied, bumping against his side. “You’re much quicker on your feet than I am…”

The Hare giggled as they walked out the front door and into the early morning sunlight. Birdsong was just beginning to fill the crisp morning air as the trees swayed merrily in the breeze. It was going to be a beautiful day.

“Let’s go this way first,” the Hatter said, beginning to jog.

“Lead the way!” the Hare replied, hopping from one foot to another, excitedly.

A half an hour later and they were both panting and sweating profusely. They stopped to catch their breath near the wooden bridge that crossed over the Wonderland spring.

It had taken the Hare a bit to find a good pace for them; he’d naturally wanted to sprint the whole way, but knew he needed to contain his energy for the Hatter’s sake. He didn’t want to show him up on their very first run together.

“Let’s get a drink!” the Hatter said breathing heavily as he walked over to the bubbling spring of cool, turquoise water. He dipped a wooden cup into it and then brought it to his mouth and slurped the liquid down.

“Ah…” he sighed.

“Here,” he said handing the cup to the Hare.

“Thank you,” the Hare replied, jumping slightly as their fingers touched. He plunged the cup into the crystal clear water and then gulped it down, feeling instantly refreshed.

The Hatter reached out and gripped onto his shoulder, stretching his leg with a groan. “You’re gonna wear me out…” he said, continuing to stretch while holding onto the Hare for balance.

The Hare froze and went serious, desperately trying not to jump straight up in the air and then run circles around the clearing. Any time the Hatter touched him it made him jumpy, but this was…a lot.

“Cat got your tongue?” the Hatter asked, laughing and then suddenly losing his balance.

The Hare caught him with both arms and held him steady. He gulped when he looked into his blue eyes—they were nearly the same tempting color as the water.

The Hatter stared back. He was still clinging onto the sides of the Hare’s sweatshirt.

“Cat got whooooo’s tongue?” a voice purred.

They both looked up and then jumped apart.

“It’s just an _expression_, Cat…we weren’t talking about _you_,” the Hatter snapped, fixing his sweatshirt nervously.

“How’s the runnnnnn going?” the Cat asked.

“Wonderful!” the Hare replied. “Now if you’ll just excuse us—we’ll be on our way!” He tugged the Hatter’s arm and pulled him along.

“What was _that_ about?” the Hatter asked as he started jogging next to him.

“Oh, he’s just being a nuisance…he’s up to something if you ask me…”

But what the Hare really suspected was that the Cat was onto his _feelings_ for the Hatter, and the less they were around him, the _better_. There was no telling what he might say.

“I’ll race you to the end!” the Hatter panted with red cheeks.

“You’re on!” the Hare replied with a wicked grin.

He sped off, leaving the Hatter in a trail of dust, but then instantly felt bad for showing him up, so he slowed down and turned to look back, and just as he did, his high-top got caught on a tree root, flinging him forward, chest first into the dirt.

“Hare!” the Hatter yelled as he ran towards him. “Are you okay?”

He groaned and rolled over to his back, wincing as soon as he felt a sharp pain in his left knee. Suddenly, he could also feel the Hatter’s hands running all over him, looking for the source of injury, and he quickly realized that if the Hatter kept doing that, he would be liable to feel things in all the _wrong_ places, so he quickly pushed himself to sitting and clutched his knee.

“It’s my knee…I think I hurt it…” he groaned.

“Oh, dear!” the Hatter said as sweat dripped down his face. He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and licked his lips. “I’ll carry you, c’mon,” he said, grabbing hold of the Hare’s arms.

“Oh, no…you don’t need to do that…” the Hare said wincing again.

“It’s no trouble!” the Hatter replied, groaning as he scooped him up in his arms. “Just part of the work-out!”

Even despite the pain in his knee, the Hare couldn’t help feeling giddy over being in the Hatter’s strong arms. It was a rather romantic scenario, he thought, as he wrapped his arms around his neck, trying to make it easier on him. The Hatter gripped him tight, holding him close to his chest and walked briskly towards the house.

“I’ll sit you down here…and then get some ice…” the Hatter huffed as he gently sat the Hare down in a chair at the tea table. “I’ll be right back!” he panted before lightly patting his leg and then trotting off.

The Hare leaned back into the chair and exhaled.

“What happened?!” the Dormouse squeaked, making the Hare flinch and nearly fall off his chair.

“Oh, Dormouse…I fell while we were running…scuffed up my knee…”

“Ouch! Do you need any ice?”

“No, but thank you...the Hatter’s just gone to fetch some…”

When he opened his eyes again he saw the Hatter heading back towards him with a serious face and a bowl full of ice clutched in his hands.

“I’ll just put some of these in a tea towel…” the Hatter said, absently grabbing one off the table, knocking dishes to the ground, and then bundled the ice inside it. “But first we need to look at the wound.” He knelt down and started hiking the Hare’s neon orange sweat pant leg up.

The Hare instantly jumped and started giggling. “Sorry! I’m rather ticklish!” he said biting his lip.

The Hatter glanced up at him and grinned, and then carefully pulled his pants up and over his knee. It was already turning black and blue. The Hatter lightly touched it with his fingertips, making the Hare freeze and hold his breath.

“I think the ice will help,” the Hatter said, taking the bundle and gently holding it to his knee for a moment. “It’ll reduce the swelling,” he said quickly glancing up at him.

“Th-that’s good…the swelling…” the Hare muttered as he stared down at him, suddenly unable to feel anything in his body.

“Yes, well…I’ll just go make us some tea. You stay here and rest,” the Hatter said, taking the Hare’s hand and placing it over the ice bag. They stared at each other for a moment before the Hatter finally stood up.

“Th-thank you…for saving me…” the Hare said dreamily.

“Oh, well…it was nothing…” the Hatter shrugged. “I don’t mean _you’re_ nothing! I mean…oh, you know what I mean!” he said irritably, and then turned away and continued muttering to himself as he stomped up the steps to the house.

The Hare chuckled as he watched him go, thinking that maybe he made the Hatter just as tongue-tied as the Hatter made him…

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was frenzied. He didn’t know whether to make tea, warm up crumpets, or bake something new..when all he really wanted to do was hold the Hare’s hand and comfort him.

They never should have raced, he thought.

“What an idiot I am,” he huffed under his breath.

He wiped the sticky sweat off his brow and sighed, thinking what he really needed was a _shower_. And then he realized the Hare would need one, too.

He rushed back outside and over to where the Hare was sitting.

“Oh is the tea ready? That was fast!” the Hare said, still holding the ice pack to his swollen knee.

“NO! Um…_no_ it’s not ready…I haven’t even started it…Listen, we need to get you into the shower…”

The Hare gaped at him for a moment and then shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Oh, your glasses! They're _FILTHY_!” the Hatter said, throwing his hands in the air. “No, this just won’t do!”

“Hatter, _calm down_…It will all be okay…” the Hare said in a reassuring voice.

The Hatter fell to his knees dramatically before him and grabbed his hand. “I’m just so _sorry_ you got hurt! I don’t know what to do!”

“Hatter, it’s okay…it was just an accident…” the Hare said soothingly. “I’ll be fine…I just need a few days rest and then we can get back to jogging. But you are right, I do need a shower…I can’t stay like this all day.” He looked around absently, “How about you just drop me in the tea fountain?”

“No! I’m not going to do that!” the Hatter exclaimed indignantly. “You’re going to get a proper shower if I have to wash you myself!”

The Hare gaped at him again.

“Just…just, c’mere,” the Hatter said in a huff as he reached down to pick him up.

“Hatter, I can walk…”

“No, you can’t,” the Hatter said with a grunt as he hoisted him up and tossed him over his shoulder.

“Hatter, you’re going to strain yourself…”

“No, I’m not! You’re as light as a feather!” the Hatter said stifling a groan.

It’s not that the Hare was overweight, he was just short and rather stout, and when he was dead weight he was heavier than a sack of purple potatoes.

The Hare was silent as he was carried into the house. The Hatter didn’t really have time to think about their close proximity because he was too busy trying not to bump into walls or knock the Hare’s head against a door frame.

“Almost there,” he huffed as he went up the stairs, gripping the back of the Hare’s thighs, and feeling his own burn with each step. “Here we are,” he breathed as he reached the top of the landing and let the Hare slide down his body and onto the floor. He gripped his arms tightly, supporting his weight.

“Th-thanks,” the Hare said peering up at him with wide, brown eyes.

“No problem!” the Hatter replied with a delirious grin. “Can I get you anything else?”

“Well…I will need a change of clothes,” he said fumbling with his hands.

“Oh, of course!” I’ll run up and get you something! Any preferences?”

“Um, no…whatever you pick will be fine, I’m sure,” the Hare said blushing as he backed up into the bathroom.

“Okay, I’ll be back in a jiffy!” the Hatter panted before trotting up the stairs.

He went straight for the Hare’s chest of drawers and started rifling through them. He grabbed a pair of grey sweat pants and a blue and white polka dot t-shirt, thinking the Hare would probably want to wear comfortable clothes…and then he realized he would need underwear, and laughed out loud when he pulled out a pair of radish covered boxer shorts.

He ran back down the stairs and tapped on the bathroom door.

The Hare hollered, “Come in!” but when he walked inside he was surprised to see that the Hare was already in the shower. He was hit with a face full of steam and the overwhelming smell of his own, blueberry scented body wash. He stumbled on the rug and nearly flew head first into the tea cup covered shower curtain, but thankfully caught himself on the sink.

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t know you’d be…in here,” he muttered, narrowing his eyes when he saw the Hare’s large ears sticking out over the top of the shower curtain.

“That’s okay! Just leave the stuff on the sink!” the Hare hollered, humming some tune to himself.

“Okay…I’ll just leave them here,” the Hatter murmured before backing away and closing the door. He then leaned his back against it and swallowed hard, unsure what to think. So many new things had happened in a just a few days. He wasn’t sure his nerves, or his _heart_, could handle much more. He decided to go down to the kitchen and busy himself with making more scones.

You could never have too many desserts after all.

He stood in the kitchen, absently pouring some flour into a cup, as he started remembering what it felt like to carry the Hare. It was a strange sensation, but a _good_ one. He liked picking him up and carrying him around; he wished he could do it more often. But he wondered _why_. And then he thought about how it felt to push the Hare’s sweat pants up his leg. And that felt good, too. But _why_? Wasn’t it normal for friends to help each other? Even touch one another if they needed to? No, he was blowing this way out of proportion. He would have done the same thing for the White Rabbit…

But then again, he wouldn’t have exactly _enjoyed_ it.

Not like he did with the Hare.

The clock on the wall chimed loudly and he threw his cup of flour into the air with a yelp. A small wooden bird popped out of the coo-coo clock and screeched, “TEA TIME!”

“Yes, I _know_ it’s tea time,” he hissed and coughed amidst a cloud of flour. “But today we’ll just have to be off schedule.”

The little bird disappeared back into the clock, the tiny doors shutting behind it.

He looked at the flour all over the room and sighed.

“What a mess…”

“Hatter!” a voice called, and he instantly could have cared less about the state of the room. He lunged up the stairs and to the bathroom door.

“Yes?” he asked panting.

“Oh, I was just wondering if I could use your hair brush…mine’s upstairs.”

“Of course! Is there anything else I can get you?”

The door opened and the Hatter was once again hit with a face full of steam and blueberries. He coughed and swatted his hand in the air.

“No, I’m done!” the Hare said grinning as he combed out his wet hair.

The Hatter looked him up and down in awe.

He wasn’t sure how the Hare could still look so good in such an _unfashionable_ outfit…but he did. Whether he was wearing a suit or sweatpants, he still made the Hatter’s stomach do a flip-flop and his palms go sweaty.

“It’s all yours!” the Hare said hobbling forward.

“Let me first get you downstairs!” the Hatter said, moving towards him and bending down. “May I?”

“Yes, of course!” the Hare squeaked.

The Hatter hoisted him over his shoulder again and clutched on to the backs of his legs. He bit his lip, trying to contain his goofy grin, and then carefully walked down the stairs to the living room.

“Do you want to rest on the couch?”

“Sure!”

The Hatter sat him down gently on the plush, floral sofa.

“Well, I’ll just go take my shower…that is, if you left me any hot water!” he said grinning.

“Oh, I’m sorry!”

“I was just kidding! But a cold shower would probably feel good about now anyway!”

The Hare blushed and stared down at his knee.

The Hatter turned away and ran his hand back through his sweaty hair, thinking a cold shower would probably be _very good_ for him right about now…in more ways than one.

***


	6. Couch Potatoes

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was sat on the couch, absently flipping through TV channels, when the doorbell rang.

“Come in!” he hollered.

“Hatter? Hare? Are you in here?” the voice of the White Rabbit called.

“In the living room!”

“Oh my! What happened?” the Rabbit asked as he moved into the room.

“Hatter and I were jogging and I tripped and fell…”

“Oh dear! Looks like a nasty scrape! Is there anything I can get you?”

“No, but thank you! The Hatter’s doing a wonderful job!” the Hare gushed, trying not to grin like an idiot.

“Well I’ve come by on an errand from the Queen…As I’m sure you know—she’s hosting the Wonderland Fashion Show next month at the palace…”

“And she wants the Hatter to be in charge of the _fashion_?” the Hare asked with a smirk.

“Well…yes…”

“We figured as much.”

“Well do you think the Hatter will do it? I mean, you know him better than _anyone_…and well, I’d just _hate_ to tell the Queen he said ‘no’,” the Rabbit said wringing his hands. “She’s got her heart set on him!”

The Hare scowled and then quickly tried to hide it. “Well, I’m glad the Queen prefers his skills above all others, and I’m sure he’ll be happy to help…I’ll tell him about the offer once he gets out of the shower.”

“Please do! And then have him send his answer as soon as possible…the Queens in a tizzy over all the arrangements…The Tweedles are providing the music and Alice his helping with hair and makeup…though, lord knows if she has a clue what she’s doing…Oh, and if the Hatter can spare any desserts for the after party—that would be just wonderful. His marshmallow butter is the best I’ve ever had…Simply _divine_…” he said kissing his fingers. “He just has magic in his hands…”

“Yes, well that’s very nice of you to say,” the Hare said in a clipped tone with a sniff. “I’ll be sure to pass the information along.” He pursed his lips and stared pointedly back at the TV.

“Well, I’ll just let you get back to resting! Too-da-loo!” the Rabbit said with a wave before carefully walking out the door on his roller blades.

The Hare continued to glower at the TV. He wondered why the Rabbit’s compliments about the Hatter upset him so. Shouldn’t he be _glad_ his best friend was being praised? But he didn’t feel glad…he felt…_possessive_. The Queen may have had her “heart set on him” but he wondered where the Hatter’s _heart_ lied. And then he wondered why he’d even wonder such a thing.

Lost in his tangle of thoughts, he didn’t even hear the Hatter come back down the stairs.

“Anything good on?” the Hatter asked, appearing in nothing but his plush purple bathrobe and a pink towel wrapped around his head like a turban.

“Oh!” the Hare yelped in surprise.

“Is it your knee?” the Hatter asked, rushing towards him and resting his hand gently on his shin.

“Oh, yes…I felt a sharp pain,” the Hare lied, not about to admit that the Hatter’s sudden presence and attire were the cause of his exclamation.

“Let me go and get you some more ice…this bundle is nearly melted.”

After the Hatter left, the Hare tried to calm his heart rate and appear nonchalant, but it was no use, he simply couldn’t stay calm with the Hatter looking like that.

When the Hatter returned he was carrying a tea tray in his arms loaded down with a plate of lemon poppy seed scones, a yellow tea pot, and some mismatched cups and saucers. “I figured you could use a little snicky-snack!” he said beaming as he set the tray down on the coffee table.

The Hare squirmed on the sofa, barely able to look at him. The sight of the Hatter in a bathrobe carrying a tea tray, with his wet hair in a turban, was the picture of domestic bliss. But the Hare worried he was feeling a little too much _bliss_ at the moment, and needed a distraction.

“That looks…wonderful!” he said in a strained voice, keeping his eyes focused on the tea tray.

“Oh, I almost forgot…Here’s your ice!” the Hatter said, gently resting the new bundle atop his knee. He patted his thigh reassuringly and smiled.

“Th-thanks…it feels better already.”

“Good,” the Hatter said plopping down on the sofa next to him.

The Hare twitched his nose. The Hatter smelled good.

_Exceptionally_ good.

Like a field of lilacs, warming in the hot afternoon sun.

“New shampoo?” he asked, fiddling with the remote as he kept his eyes trained on the TV.

“Oh, yes! Well, it’s actually _old_…and it’s body wash…I figured you could use mine and I’ll use this one so we don’t get them mixed up.”

“Oh…well I don’t mind sharing…”

“I don’t mind either,” the Hatter said glancing sideways at him, “I just figured you would want your own.”

“Thanks,” the Hare replied, biting his lip.

“I think there should be a re-run on of this month’s fashion show,” the Hatter said frowning. He reached across the coffee table to grab the TV guide and when he did, his robe opened slightly, exposing his white, bare thigh.

“I FORGOT!” the Hare yelped, nearly leaping off the couch.

“What is it?!” the Hatter screeched, jerking towards him, concern etched between his brows.

“I forgot to…to tell you that the White Rabbit came by and the Queen wants to know if you’d be in charge of the fashion…at the next show…” he wheezed, trying to catch his breath.

“Oh, well that’s no surprise!” the Hatter said grinning. “We figured she’d want me to do it anyway,” he said elbowing the Hare playfully in the side.

“Y-yes we did…and she also wants to know if you would do the desserts…the Rabbit said something about your marshmallow butter being _divine_…”

“Hmm, well that’s a lot,” the Hatter murmured, leaning back on the couch and draping his robe back over his exposed leg.

The Hare quickly let out the breath he'd been holding and relaxed.

“I can do it,” the Hatter said, glancing at him, “but I’ll definitely need your help…”

“I already told you I would…”

“Yes, but this will be fashion _and_ food…”

“Hey, what are friends for?”

“True…what are _friends_ for…” the Hatter muttered, frowning slightly.

The Hare furrowed his brows. What was the Hatter implying?

“Well as soon as you feel up to it, we’ll get to work…” the Hatter said leaning his head back on the sofa. He propped his feet up on the coffee table and sighed.

Their arms were touching and the Hare had the urge to move even closer, but he couldn’t move with his leg propped up in such an awkward angle.

“Oh, would you like some tea and scones?” the Hatter asked, sitting up abruptly.

“Yes, please!”

“I made your favorite! Chamomile Rose…” he said grinning as he poured the steaming liquid into a pastel tea cup.

“Thank you…” the Hare said wistfully as he watched his graceful movements. The Hatter had such nice, large hands.

When the Hatter handed him the tea cup and their fingers grazed, the Hare shivered.

“Is it cold in here?” the Hatter asked, looking concerned.

“I just got a chill…” the Hare replied, focusing intently on his tea cup.

“Well you _do_ have ice on your knee! Let me get you something…” the Hatter said reaching over and grabbing a fluffy white blanket from a wicker basket next to the sofa. He got up and wrapped it snugly around the Hare, swaddling him so tight he could barely lift his tea cup to his mouth. The Hare knew he’d probably be sweating within a matter of minutes, but he wasn’t about to say anything. Instead, he just relished being pampered.

The Hatter un-wrapped the pink turban on his head and distractedly towel dried his hair. “I’ll just let it air dry,” he said before sitting back down again. “You know, it’s nice to just be myself with you,” he said propping his feet back up and crossing his bare ankles.

His honest declaration caught the Hare off guard. “Well…I’m _glad_…and I feel the same way…there’s no one else…no one else…” he repeated, suddenly losing his train of thought as he continued to stare at the Hatter, and when the Hatter turned towards him and stared right back, it felt like all the oxygen was sucked from the room. He felt dizzy and giddy at the same time.

“You’re the only one, too,” the Hatter said softly, barely moving his lips, his blue eyes narrowing to the Hare’s mouth.

The Hare gaped at him for a moment, feeling his heart rate accelerate about a million percent, and then he cleared his throat and turned back to the TV. “Oh! It’s the fashion show!” he said with relief.

“Oh good! It will give us an excellent idea of what to do for the Queen’s show!” the Hatter said, squirming on the couch next to him.

The Hare could have sworn he was sitting even closer to him than before, but it was difficult to tell under his sweltering blanket. He didn’t mind though…any means to be closer to the Hatter was worth it.

***

\---The Hatter---

When the Hatter blinked his eyes open he was shocked to see that he was still sitting on the couch with the Hare. They must have dozed off—so many re-runs of Wonderland’s Fashion Show had sent them straight to dreamland.

He felt as hot as a furnace and tried to sit up, but he couldn’t when he realized the Hare was leaning against him with his head rested atop his shoulder. He smiled contentedly and leaned his head back on the sofa. He could get used to this.

He noticed the Hare’s bag of ice had fallen off his knee and was now just a wet puddle on the floor, and then he looked to the clock on the wall and was surprised to see it was past seven in the evening. They’d slept right through their four o’clock tea time. He wondered if anyone had stopped by and knocked on the door wanting to know where they were.

With a grunt, he leaned forward again, and carefully moved the Hare’s head to rest on the back of the sofa.

He needed to get some air.

Getting up quietly, he went to the front door and stepped outside. It was cool out and the stars were just beginning to shine. He sighed and hugged himself, suddenly wishing to not be so far from the Hare. Something in his heart tugged him back to the living room.

He wondered what was to become of them. Would they go on forever being _pals_, doing everything together, but nothing more?

“Hatter?” a scratchy voice came, interrupting his thoughts.

“Hare! What are you doing up?” he asked, whipping around. “You shouldn’t be on your feet!”

“I woke up and you weren’t there…and I got worried.”

The Hatter gulped as he peered down at him with narrowed eyes; he could literally feel his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

“I’m here,” he said moving a step closer.

“In your bathrobe and all,” the Hare said with a chuckle as he playfully gripped his collar with both hands and gave it a tug.

The Hatter involuntarily closed his eyes, his lips parting slightly, as his breath hitched and pleasures unknown shot through his body.

“Yes,” he murmured.

When he opened his eyes again the Hare was staring up at him with black eyes. Or maybe it was just the lack of light, but they seemed to be full of two things...fear…and _desire_.

“Are you going to bed?” the Hare rasped.

“Yes, I suppose we should…”

“Okay.”

“Can I carry you?”

“Yes.”

And so the Hatter bent down to throw him over his shoulder, but then changed his mind, and instead, scooped him up in his arms, cradling his body snugly against his chest. He could feel his robe slightly pull open, exposing his bare chest, but there was nothing he could do about it. He thought he felt the Hare tremble slightly, but maybe it was just his own arms turning to marshmallow butter from their close proximity.

The Hare was silent as a mouse the whole way up to his room.

The Hatter wasn’t sure what to think; he was _feeling_ too much.

He carefully sat the Hare down on his bed; the room was dark, save for the sliver of moonlight shining through the window pane, and he couldn’t really see his face, but he felt his presence.

The Hare leaned back on the bed with a soft sigh and the Hatter quickly moved to pull up his quilt.

“Is that alright?” he asked quietly.

“Y-yes, that’s perfect.”

“Do you want the night light on?”

“Yes, please.”

“Alright…Well, I’ll see you in the morning…”

“Yes, see you in the morning…” the Hare said clutching onto the quilt.

“Sweet dreams.”

“Sweet dreams.”

The Hatter hated to leave him but knew he should, so he moved back from the bed and went and flicked the top hat night light on, giving the room a warm, purple ambience.

His heart felt like it was being torn in two.

“Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight, Hatter.”

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare lay in bed for a long while, going over everything that had transpired that day, and trying to make heads or tails of it. But the more he analyzed it all, the more confused he became.

Amidst his tangle of thoughts, there was one thing that had become unmistakably clear to him…

He was _attracted_ to the Hatter.

And he wasn’t absolutely certain the Hatter felt the same way about him, but his recent behavior seemed promising, though, he would definitely need to analyze his signals further; the last thing in the world he wanted was to misread the situation. If he declared how he felt and the Hatter wasn’t on the same page, he’d simply _die_. The humiliation being even worse than when he’d accidentally fallen into the Queen’s fountain during a croquet match because he’d been too busy watching the Hatter, and not paying enough attention to Tweedle Dum’s massive swing.

He clutched the quilt to his chin and stared at the ceiling. There were so many times that day he was sure the Hatter felt the same way about him. In fact, he was nearly certain the Hatter was about to lean in and kiss him on the sofa, and he would have let him, too…if he hadn’t been so nervous, of course.

He was scared to make the first move and be wrong, so he’d just have to wait for the Hatter to do it instead.

He turned to his side and stared at the boxes of junk piled high against the opposite wall. If the Hatter tried to kiss him again, he wouldn’t pull away.

He was determined.

After all, he did _want_ it to happen.

He imagined what it would feel like and a shiver went up his spine.

Maybe imagining was a dangerous thing. But he couldn’t help it. When the Hatter’s blue eyes turned to black...he was done for. It was as if he were trapped in a spell, completely paralyzed and under his will…but yet, he _wanted_ to be.

He craved that spell with every fiber of his being.

And he would have it, too, when the time was right, of course.

He would let the Hatter kiss him.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter couldn’t sleep no matter how much he tried to relax. He kept tossing and turning and trying not to think about the Hare, but having an impossible time of it. The clock struck two and he sat up and smashed his hands down on either side of himself. Whatever was going on between them was agony.

_Sweet agony_…but still, _agony_.

He tugged on his hair and sighed. He knew what he wanted but had no idea how to get it.

He wanted to kiss the Hare and kiss him good.

Kiss him senseless.

Even if the Hare fought him, or slapped him, or fainted. He _had_ to kiss him. But he was loath to make the first move. Though, there were so many times that day he was sure the Hare wanted him too...

He just couldn’t be _too_ sure.

A mistake like that could ruin their friendship.

He groaned and fell back on his heap of pillows.

He kept replaying in his mind how it felt to carry the Hare, the feel of his body pressed against him…his intoxicating smell…the way they slept so comfortably next to each other on the couch. It all just felt right. Natural. Normal. Like they’d never not lived together.

He could never imagine living without him now.

And then an even more absurd thought occurred to him. He wanted to know what it would be like to share the same bed as the Hare. Did he snore? Hog the covers? Toss and turn? Talk in his sleep? There was so much to know…and not just know, but _experience_.

He sucked in a shaky inhale and licked his lips.

No, first he would just focus on _kissing_ him. That would be his top priority. Though, _how_, he wasn’t sure. He really didn’t want to make the first move.

He needed to be absolutely certain the Hare wanted it…and then he’d grab him, and kiss him, and unleash all of his pent-up passion…and where all that would lead, he wasn’t exactly sure…

But he had high hopes.

***


	7. High Hopes

***

\---The Hare---

The next morning, the Hatter and the Hare were both sitting in a daze at the breakfast table, both wearing their bathrobes, with their hair sticking up in all directions and very puffy eyes.

“Rough night again?” the Hare rasped as he reached across the table for the syrup.

“Yeah…you, too?”

“Yeah.”

“Ghoul under your bed?”

The Hare nearly choked on the syrupy fork-full of waffles he’d just shoved into his mouth. “Um, no,” he said after swallowing. “Just restless…”

“Yeah…me, too,” the Hatter said, briefly flicking his eyes up.

“It’s probably because we slept so much yesterday…it threw us off our schedule…”

“How _true_ that is…” the Hatter muttered.

“Well at least all the rest seemed to help my knee heal…” the Hare said, moving his bathrobe aside and yanking up his pajama bottoms to reveal his black and blue knee. “It looks terrible…but doesn’t hurt as bad.”

The Hatter swallowed down his mouthful and nervously glanced at him. “That’s nice…” he said, quickly hiding is face behind his purple coffee cup.

The Hare narrowed his eyes at him, trying to read his signals, but maybe the Hatter was just squeamish around injuries. It wasn’t uncommon.

There was a loud knock on the front door that made them both flinch.

“Now who on earth would be calling this _early_ in the morning?” the Hatter grumbled, pushing himself up from the table.

The Hare merely grunted and followed close behind him.

They opened the door to find the Queen and the White Rabbit standing there. The Queen had a sour expression on her face and her plump arms crossed arms over her rotund chest. The Rabbit looked anxious, as usual, tapping his foot and fidgeting with his fingers.

“Well, FINALLY!” the Queen bellowed.

“Your…your Majesty! To what do we owe this, um…pleasure?” the Hatter asked, cocking a brow.

“We tried to phone…” the Rabbit said apologetically.

“Oh…the phones probably still off the hook,” the Hatter said frowning and turning to look at the Hare. “I took it off yesterday while we were napping…You know, I get at least _ten_ sales calls a day from the Wonderland Cheese Association…I think the Dormouse must have given them—"

“ENOUGH!” the Queen bellowed. “Listen here, Hatter—I don’t have all day! And I don’t appreciate making _house calls_!” she said stamping her foot.

“Y-Yes, your Majesty…I do apologize,” the Hatter stammered. “What can I do for you?”

“We need to get started on this fashion show! The Duchess is literally breathing down my neck! Wanting to know if we’ve finished the designs…the decorations…the food…and I just can’t do it all! You’re responsible for the six causal wear outfits, the four active wear, the two swimwear, and the twelve evening wear! So you best get a move on!”

She then narrowed her eyes and looked them both up and down suspiciously. “And I suggest you get DRESSED!” she roared before turning on her heel and stomping away.

The Rabbit cast an apologetic glance over his shoulder and shrugged, helplessly.

The Hare turned to the Hatter and gaped. “I think she forgot about the desserts…” he muttered.

“And don’t forget the DESSERTS!” the Queen bellowed from down the road.

“Nope,” the Hatter said wincing.

“Well, it looks like we have our work cut out for us.”

“Indeed-ee-do,” the Hatter muttered with a sigh.

“I guess we should finish breakfast and get dressed then…” the Hare said, turning towards him and shoving his hands in his robe pockets.

The Hatter looked down at him and chuckled. “We’re a pair, aren’t we?” he said bumping against the Hare’s arm playfully.

“A couple of sleep deprived fools that really need to wash their hair,” the Hare said, absently reaching up and smoothing back one of the Hatter’s unruly pieces. Even with sleepy eyes and a puffy face, the Hare thought he’d never looked more wonderful, and he continued to stare at him, waiting for something to happen.

_Hoping_ for something to happen.

Instead, the Hatter made a sort of wheezing sound, spun around, and ran face first into the front door.

“OH! Um, I’ll just…open this…” he said pushing the door open.

The Hare gaped at him for a moment and then started laughing. He couldn’t help it. “There’s a door there, Hatter,” he said grinning.

“Oh, really? Is that what that was?” the Hatter asked, turning around and smirking at him with a beet red face.

The Hare felt the butterflies in his stomach begin to dance and he couldn’t stop grinning.

***

\---The Hatter---

“What do you think of orange for evening wear?” the Hatter asked as he paced back and forth in the attic, frowning.

“Hmm…I like it…” the Hare replied as he was perched on top of an old desk, flipping through cookbooks.

“It’s not too _loud_?”

“What’s wrong with being loud?” the Hare scoffed.

“How true that is!” the Hatter grinned.

The Hare blushed and stuck his nose back in his book.

“What about pink for swimwear?”

“Suits me…” the Hare muttered.

“Hare, are you evening _listening_ to me?”

“Hatter, I’m trying to find recipes for the fashion show!”

“Yes, but you said you’d _help_ me!” the Hatter whined, crossing his arms.

“I _am_ helping you! I’m doing the desserts so you can focus on the fashion!”

“Yes, well…I just wanted some advice…”

The Hare sighed and slid off the desk. “You need to relax, Hatter…” He walked towards him, pursing his lips, and staring him up and down.

The Hatter gulped, unsure what he was doing.

“Here, let’s take your coat off…you always have better ideas without it on…” the Hare said, moving behind him and helping him shrug the purple jacket off.

“Better?”

“Better…” the Hatter replied with a sheepish grin as he straightened his black and gold iridescent vest.

“You know me so well…”

“Indeed I do,” the Hare crooned staring up at him with large eyes.

The Hatter suddenly felt a bolt of electricity shoot through him. Was _now_ the moment? Was this a _signal_?

“Yes…yes you do…” he murmured moving a step closer. His stomach doing a flip-flop, and suddenly, the room seemed to spin. “It’s still…a bit…hot in here…” he gulped, tugging on his bow tie, feeling like it was strangling him.

“Maybe we should turn the air down…” the Hare said softly, still staring at him unblinkingly. Then something shifted on his face and his eyes widened.

Was that fear?

The Hatter quickly stepped back and turned around, taking a deep breath and undoing his tie. “I…I think I just need to take this off, too,” he said as he undid the tie and shoved it in his pocket. “All better now!” he said returning back to his spools of fabric and praying that the Hare had no idea he was just about to kiss him. Judging by the fear in his eyes, it was _not_ something he wanted.

“Y-yes, that’s probably better,” the Hare murmured, returning to his table top and picking up another cookbook. 

It was silent while they worked until the sound of chatter and footsteps came from the stairway.

“Hatter! Hare!” Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee exclaimed.

“Oh, hello!” the Hatter said as he was draping a swatch of orange polka dot fabric over a mannequin.

“Ready for the fashion show?” Tweedle Dee asked excitedly.

“Well…we’re getting there…” the Hatter muttered. “I’m trying to finalize my fabric choices for the outfits…”

“What about you, Hare?” Tweedle Dum asked.

“I’m just trying to pick out some good recipes…”

But judging by the expressions on the Tweedle’s faces, they could tell something was amiss, so the Hatter quickly tried to change the subject.

“So, what have you two been working on?” he asked with a toothy grin.

“Well the Queen’s got us in charge of the music and we’re also helping the White Rabbit with the decorations…Did you know this fashion show is gonna be broadcast all over Wonderland? We’ve really got to bring our A game!” Tweedle Dum said, giving his brother a high five.

“Yes…well, I suppose it is a big deal…”

“Big deal?” this show could get you the recognition you deserve, Hatter!” Tweedle Dee said, whacking him on the back. “Everyone will see your designs and want them…I bet you’ll be so busy you’ll have to move to the city and open a shop!”

The Hare whipped his head up and opened his mouth like he was about to say something, but then closed it and resumed his recipe reading.

“I-is that so?” the Hatter asked, fiddling with the tape measure in his hands.

“I don’t see why not?” Dum replied. “That designer that made everything for the Duchess’ show moved to her palace and now exclusively designs all of her clothes.”

“Wow…” the Hatter murmured, staring off in the distance and suddenly imagining himself winning all kinds of shiny awards and living it up with royalty…but there was only one problem—where did the Hare fit into his fantasy?

“Well _I_ certainly wouldn’t want all that fame…” the Hare scoffed from behind his book, his ears poking out over the top.

“Why not?” the Tweedles asked.

“Because a simple country life is all I need…a garden…tea parties…Now, _that’s_ the life,” the Hare said, lowering his book.

Suddenly, the Hatter knew _exactly_ where the Hare fit into his fantasy…not at all. If he were to get famous and move away, the Hare wouldn’t come with him, and most likely wouldn’t be allowed to anyway if he was working in some fancy palace.

No, this just wouldn’t do.

He’d simply have to find a way to _not_ become famous…otherwise, he would lose the Hare.

The Tweedle’s shrugged and shook their heads in unison as if they were one person.

“Whatever suits you…But we’re determined to use the show to get on Star Quest—Wonderland’s singing competition! Once people hear what we can do, we’re sure they’ll vote for us!” Tweedle Dum said proudly.

“Well, good luck with that!” The Hatter said rolling up a spool of fabric. “I better get to sewing!”

“And I better get to baking…” the Hare chimed in, standing up again and scooping up his pile of books.

“Okay! We’ll see you later then!” the Tweedles said happily before going back down the stairs.

“Hare…” the Hatter said, suddenly feeling his heart speed up.

“Yes?”

“Did you mean what you said?”

“About what?”

“About being happy living in the country…a simple life and all that…”

“Of course I did. I’ve never been fame-hungry…” he said scrunching his brows.

The Hatter took a few steps closer to him and bit his lip. “That’s good to know,” he said, staring deeply into his eyes, desperately trying to find a _“please kiss me”_ signal.

The Hare narrowed his brown eyes at him, “But you need to do what makes _you_ happy,” he said, gently touching the side of his arm. “Don’t worry about me…I’ll be fine…I doubt a Hare such as I would be welcome in the city anyway…” he said looking down at the floor as if he were suddenly about to cry.

“Hare,” the Hatter said quietly, “I won’t be fine…I…I mean if we’re not together…Wherever you go, you know I go…”

“Through thick and through thin?” the Hare asked, raising a brow and starting to grin.

“All out or all in!” the Hatter belted, surprising both himself and the Hare.

The Hare tossed his books aside and clutched the Hatter’s shoulder, and together they both sang:

Wherever we go

Whatever we do

We’re gonna go through it

Together!

We may not go far

But sure as a star

Wherever we are

It’s together!

The Hare grabbed a black top hat and cane and belted:

Wherever I go

I know _he_ goes!

The Hatter grinned and grabbed the Hare by the shoulders, singing:

Wherever I go

I know _he_ goes!

And together they danced around the room and sang:

No fits, no fights

No feuds, and no egos

Amigos!

Together!

Through thick

And through thin

All out

Or all in

And whether it’s win

Place, or show

With you for me

And me for you

We’ll muddle through

Whatever we do

Together!

Whereeeeeeever we goooooooo!*

They came to a stop with huge grins on their faces, still clutching each other tight as they tried to catch their breath.

“Wherever I go?” the Hare asked.

“You know I go,” The Hatter said solemnly.

The Hatter stared in his eyes, searching for the same fear he’d seen there before, but it was gone. He lowered his eyes to his parted lips and then back up to his eyes, and then back down to his lips again, unsure if he was really brave enough to do what he wanted.

But the Hare just stood there, continuing to grip his shoulders tightly, as if waiting for it.

The clock on the wall chimed loudly and they both jumped apart.

“Blasted biscuits!” the Hatter exclaimed. “Ticky, was that _really_ necessary?” he hissed with his hands on his hips as he walked over to the large, wooden clock.

“TEA TIME!” the clock shrieked as the large hand with the teapot moved to noon.

“Well, I see you've tuned him!” the Hare said with a chuckle.

“Yes…I did…” the Hatter replied frowning, thoroughly disappointed their moment had been interrupted.

“Well, I guess we should go down…for _tea_…I mean…”

“Yes, I suppose we should…” the Hatter said grumpily.

“And then I should probably get to baking…”

“And I should probably get to sewing…”

But even despite the interruption, the Hatter couldn’t help but grin soppily as he walked down the stairs. He’d just declared to the Hare that he’d rather be with _him_ than anything else, and he felt relieved and overjoyed that the Hare felt the same.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was so busy stirring away he didn’t hear the Hatter come into the kitchen.

“How’s the baking?”

“Oh!” the Hare jumped, “It’s…well…it’s _going_,” he said with a sigh. He nervously wiped the back of his hand on his forehead, smearing flour across his face.

“Well it certainly looks like you’re making progress,” the Hatter remarked, eyeing the table full of cooling tarts. “Need any help?”

“Have you already finished all the outfits?” the Hare asked, gaping at him.

“No! Of course not!” the Hatter chuckled, moving closer. “I just needed a break…”

The Hare leaned against the counter and narrowed his eyes at him. Something seemed different about the Hatter, but he just couldn’t put his finger on it. Was he more confident?

The Hatter moved even closer and reached out his gloved hand, gently swiping the flour off the Hare’s forehead. “I think you’ve managed to get more on yourself than in the bowl,” he said in a low voice, rubbing his fingers together.

“I…I…”

The Hatter smirked at him and cocked a brow.

“I’m a messy baker…” the Hare breathed.

He wasn’t sure, but it felt like the Hatter was definitely moving even closer.

It felt like the room was shrinking.

“I’m not sure if anyone is messier than the _Dormouse_,” the Hatter said with a grin, crossing his arms.

“That is true…” the Hare replied, feeling like his brain was turning to mush the longer he stared at him.

“Well I don’t want to be a bother…”

“No!” the Hare yelped grabbing his arm, “I mean—I could use the help…If you want to…”

“Of course I do…” the Hatter said staring directly into his eyes.

The Hare felt his stomach do a flip and he bit his bottom lip, trying to figure out what to do. He knew what he _wanted_ to do but was too scared to make the first move.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Oh, um…well…I think the tarts are cool enough to add the strawberry jam…” the Hare blurted out, darting his eyes to the table.

“I’ll get right on it then!” the Hatter said grinning down at him.

“The jam is in that pink bowl…” the Hare murmured as he continued to watch him. And then he looked back down at his own bowl and gulped. He needed to get ahold of himself. He’d never get anything done at this rate. Rolling his shoulders back and standing taller, he determined to focus only on stirring.

They worked silently for the next little while, the Hare almost forgetting the Hatter was still in the room, he was filling the pastries so quietly.

“All done!” the Hatter exclaimed, nearly giving the Hare a heart attack.

“Oh! Good!” the Hare said, clasping his hand to his chest and getting flour all over his ruffled blue apron. “Thank you for the help!” he said curtly.

The Hatter narrowed his eyes at him and frowned.

“Hare, is everything all right? You’ve been unusually quiet.”

“I…I’m just trying to _focus_…I don’t want to mess anything up and make the Queen cross…”

“Well, none of us want _that_!” the Hatter said with a chuckle. He popped a broken tart in his mouth and closed his eyes, a look of bliss crossing his face. “But Hare, these desserts are _divine_…I don’t think the Queen will have _anything_ to complain about…”

The Hare blushed deeply and wrung his hands nervously.

“Have you even tried one?” the Hatter asked, suddenly appearing in front of him.

“Oh…no…not yet…”

“Here!” the Hatter said shoving one in his mouth.

The Hare nearly choked from the shock of it, but he managed to chew several times and swallow it down. “Is’ goo’,” he said.

“So good I’m worried you’ll be Wonderland’s Next Top Baker…and move away to the city and forget all about me…”

“I…I doubt that,” the Hare said, barely able to look at him.

“I don’t,” the Hatter said moving closer.

The Hare gulped and stared up at him with wide eyes.

“Hare?”

“Y-yes?”

“You…you’ve got some jam…right here…” the Hatter said, reaching up and carefully wiping the corner of his mouth with his pinky finger.

“Oh!” the Hare yelped before quickly wiping his mouth and looking away. He felt like he was literally on fire, or maybe it was just the heat from the oven. Either way, he had to do _something_. “I need to get started on the cakes!” he blurted out.

“Oh…right,” the Hatter said, frowning and taking a step back.

The Hare couldn’t help but notice the look of sadness that crossed his face.

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then!” the Hatter said quickly with a large smile. “If you need me, you know where to find me!”

“I sure do!” the Hare replied with a fake grin as he started whisking the ingredients in his bowl.

And with that, the Hatter disappeared up the stairs and the Hare was left alone and disgruntled once again.

He was _frustrated_ when the Hatter was with him, and he was _frustrated_ when he was gone. He just didn’t understand his peculiar feelings.

It didn’t used to be like this.

They’d always been so comfortable together and now it was just…_awkward_. He sighed and continued stirring, wondering how in the world things could ever go back to normal.

But if given the choice, would he really want them to?

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was barely paying attention to what he was sewing, so much so, that when he lifted up his hand he realized he’d sewn his glove right onto one of the Queen’s evening gowns. He yanked the glove off and frowned. All he’d been thinking about was how _awkward_ the Hare had been acting. It made him second-guess his resolution to take things to the next level. If the Hare acted like _that_ when he touched him, what in the world would he do if he tried to _kiss_ him?

But then there were other times when he was certain the Hare wanted the same thing.

He could see it in his eyes.

Those delicious, _dark brown eyes_…

He rested his chin in his hands and gazed out the window, not really seeing anything, but _those eyes…_

The phone rang and he nearly fell off his stool. He jumped up and grabbed it.

“Hello?”

“Hatter?” the Queen’s voice came with an edge of panic to it.

“Oh, hello your Majesty…”

“Hatter, we need to get these designs finalized…I need to come by and do a fitting…”

“B-but your Majesty, I’ve barely had any time to prepare…I haven’t finished everything yet…And besides, I didn’t know that _you’d_ be the one wearing them all!”

“Well _who_ did you think would be wearing them?! The WHITE RABBIT?!” she bellowed.

“Well…no…it’s just…I’m not sure…”

“Not sure about WHAT?!”

“I’m not sure I’ have enough fabric!” the Hatter said wincing.

“Well you’ll just have to get more! That’s _your_ problem! The Duchess wore all the designs in _her_ fashion show and I intend to do the same!”

“Yes, your Majesty…”

“The Rabbit and I will be right over…and you better have something for me to try on or else it will be a completely wasted trip!”

“Y-yes, but—" and the phone went dead. He heaved a sigh and hung it up.

“Just great…” he mumbled.

He looked down and realized his glove was still sewn to the dress—something the Queen would certainly _not_ appreciate. He felt naked without it on, and frowned, trying to remember what he’d done with his other pair.

Then he realized he probably needed to go and warn the Hare that the Queen and the Rabbit were on their way, because he might rather be elsewhere when they did show up…Like rapping with the Tweedles or playing hide and seek with the Cheshire Cat.

Both options sounded like more fun at the moment.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare had just placed his last cake in the oven when the Hatter appeared again in the kitchen.

“The Queen and the White Rabbit are on their way…” he said breathlessly. “She wants to try on some of my designs…I tried to tell her they weren’t all done yet…but she just wouldn’t listen…” the Hatter rambled on.

But all the Hare could focus on was the Hatter’s one bare hand. He wasn’t sure he’d ever seen the Hatter so un-gloved. His hand was the palest white and looked soft to the touch, yet strong and firm from all his sewing. He wondered what it would feel like against his own skin and shivered at the thought.

“I know…it’s last minute…but don’t worry, I’ll entertain them upstairs…though, if you have any tarts to spare I’d put them on a plate and have them waiting for her…She’ll probably have worked up an appetite…”

“S-sure…I’ll do that,” the Hare stammered, still gazing, transfixed, at his hand.

“Oh, _this_…” the Hatter said holding his naked hand up. “I accidentally sewed my glove to the Queen’s evening gown. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare one, would you?”

“I…I think I do,” the Hare murmured, walking towards him. “In my trunk…under my bed…I think I only have a yellow one, though…not lavender…”

“Oh, that’s okay! Anything will be good! I feel positively _naked_ without it!”

“Yes, I suspect so…”

The Hare ran quickly up the stairs to the attic, finding it nearly unrecognizable as he entered. Almost every inch of it was covered in fabric. There were scissors and buttons and giant spools of thread spread all about the place in a haphazard way. It took him a moment to even locate his bed.

“Oh, don’t worry about the mess,” the Hatter said from behind him, making him jump. “I’ll have all this cleared away before you go to bed.”

“Th-thanks,” the Hare said as he pulled the trunk out from under his bed. As he did, he noticed a red flower petal on the floor. He narrowed his eyes at it, suddenly wondering how it got outside of his special velvet box. He quickly snatched it up and darted his eyes to the Hatter, who was staring down at him with a strange look on his face.

“Something the matter?” the Hatter asked.

“Erm, no…I just…never mind,” the Hare said, feeling like his heart was about to beat out of his chest. His face burned as he wondered if the Hatter had been snooping through his private things. Or maybe it had been the _Dormouse_…he did like to run around the house occasionally and get into things—after he’d had too much sugar. He quickly set the petal aside and flipped open his trunk, rummaging through a pile of pastel sweaters.

“Here they are!” he said, holding up a pair of yellow gloves.

“Those will be perfect!” the Hatter exclaimed, grinning down at him. “But I only need one…”

“Oh, of course. Here you go,” the Hare said, handing it to him.

He couldn’t help but wish his own hand was also un-gloved so he could feel the Hatter’s skin. His mind suddenly raced, trying to think of a way to make that happen, but he couldn’t come up with any plausible reasons. They both wore their gloves almost all of the time…Except when they bathed, of course…maybe he could find an opportunity then somehow…

“It’s a little snug,” the Hatter said as he tugged the glove on. “But I think it will do just fine!”

“Good!” the Hare said smiling wistfully up at him. “Glad I could help.” He shut the trunk and slid it back under the bed, standing up and facing the Hatter.

“Hopefully the Queen won’t mind too much that they don’t match…” the Hatter said, holding up both of his gloved hands, one lavender the other yellow.

The Hare absently reached out and clasped the Hatter’s yellow gloved hand between his own. “I don’t think she’ll mind…” he said staring down at it. “I guess my hands are smaller,” he murmured, then pressed both their palms together between them.

“Yes, they are,” the Hatter said almost in a whisper.

The Hare stared up at him and his mouth opened slightly. The look on the Hatter’s face made his heart stop. He felt himself move a step closer, still pressing their hands together.

And then the Hatter did something completely unexpected…he laced their fingers together.

The Hare couldn’t believe what had just happened. He felt like all the wind had been knocked out of him. They were actually holding hands, if only for just a moment.

There was a loud knock at the front door, making them both spring apart.

“That’s probably the Queen,” the Hatter grumbled, never taking his eyes off of him.

“Yeah…probably,” the Hare replied, opening and closing his hand, not sure if he’d regained the feeling back yet.

“I should probably go and get it…”

“Yeah, probably…”

“Okay, I’ll just…go…” the Hatter said rather reluctantly, seeming to have a difficult time moving from the spot.

“Hatter?”

“Yes?” he said spinning around and colliding with the Hare as he did.

“I…I need to plate some tarts…” the Hare said staring up at him with his heart in his throat. Not only was the Hatter nearly pressed up against him, but he’d clasped both of the Hare’s wrists in his hands to steady himself. They stood there, frozen, the Hare’ palms itching to be pressed against the Hatter’s breast.

The knocking continued even louder, and they jumped apart again and ran down the stairs.

The Queen flung the front door open just as the fire alarm went off and the room filled with smoke.

“My CAKE!” the Hare screeched, rushing towards the kitchen. He grabbed a pot holder and flung open the oven door, getting hit in the face with a black cloud of smoke. He coughed and sputtered and yanked the pan out, dropping it on the stove-top with a clatter.

“Don’t worry!” the Hatter bellowed.

And the next thing the Hare knew, he was covered in white foam from head to toe as the Hatter stood behind him, wildly brandishing the fire extinguisher and spraying everything in sight.

“I think you got it…” the Hare said flatly, wiping foam off his face.

“What in the WORLD?!” the Queen bellowed. “I thought you had things UNDER CONTROL?!” she barked, narrowing her eyes at the foam covered tarts on the table.

“We do! I mean…we _did_…” the Hatter said, setting the fire extinguisher down on the counter top.

The Queen narrowed her eyes, looking between both of his differently colored gloved hands and scowled, her dark eyes glittering. “Well if this is you having things _under control_, I don’t want to see them _out of control_. Harrumph!”

“B-but your Majesty…It was just a little accident,” the Hatter said in a soothing voice. “We’ll get this cleaned up…now just come up to the attic and we can do your fitting...” 

“RABBIT!” she bellowed.

“Y-yes, your Majesty?” the Rabbit asked peeping out from behind her.

“Help the Hare clean up this mess! And make more TARTS!” she snapped. “The Duchess had at least two-hundred at her after-party, and I will NOT be out-done!”

“Y-yes, your Majesty, of course your Majesty…” he said with a small bow.

“And don’t _patronize_ me!” she hissed with wild eyes. “Come, Hatter, we have work to do.”

The Hatter cast an apologetic glance back at the Hare before following reluctantly behind her.

The Hare surveyed the damage and sighed heavily.

Now, he’d have to re-make the cake and at least half of the tarts he’d already finished.

And not only that, but how many times in one day could he and the Hatter be interrupted?

He was afraid he was going to find out.

***

*(“Together (Wherever We Go)” song lyrics by Stephen Sondheim and written for the musical _Gypsy_)


	8. Try, Try Again

***

\---The Hatter---

It was the night of the Queen’s fashion show and everyone was running around on pins and needles, trying to make it go off without a hitch.

“Now, if you’ll just hold still, your Majesty…I’ve almost got it…” the Hatter said as he desperately tried to pull two pieces of fabric together in an attempt to zip up the Queen’s dress.

“Oh, harrumph! I thought you said this would fit like a glove!” she huffed.

“Well, yes…that was last week…but you’re, ah…_dimensions_ must have changed…”

“My dimensions?! I don’t know what you’re talking about it…If there’s an issue it must be a flaw in _YOUR_ design…”

“Yes, of course your—"

“RABBIT!” the Queen bellowed, making the Hatter wince.

“Y-yes your Majesty?” the Rabbit asked as he wheeled over out of breath, carrying a stack of red boxes.

“Is everything ready for the show?”

“We’re still working on it, your Highness…the Tweedles are having some complications with the record player…and the Hare can’t find his last box of tarts…and the Caterpillar isn’t sure what he did with the microphone…but I’m _sure_ it will turn up…” he rambled.

“RABBIT! You better FIX everything right _now_, do you hear me? If the Duchess finds just one, teensy little mistake, you’re TOAST!” she yelled in his face.

“Y-yes your Majesty, I’m right on it, your Majesty…” he said with wide, panic-filled eyes before wheeling away.

The Hatter shook his head and frowned.

The Queen’s fashion show was already on the verge of disaster and it hadn’t even begun.

The past few weeks had been a tizzy of preparations for the big day. He’d been imprisoned in the attic nearly the entire time, tirelessly working on the Queen’s wardrobe and doing daily fittings, while the Hare baked like a fiend in the kitchen. He felt like he’d barely had any time with the Hare at all…and there was nothing more that he wanted, but they were kept busy with their tasks or either too tired to properly enjoy each other’s company.

Though, one night they had both fallen asleep on the sofa together while watching re-runs of “As the Hat Turns” and he’d woken up to find the Hare leaning against his side with _his hand rested on his thigh_. He’d nearly jumped straight up from the couch in his excitement—the Hare had never touched him there! And it took nearly an hour to calm his heart rate down. But he’d finally drifted back to sleep, and when he’d woken up again, the Hare was gone, making him wonder if it was all just a dream.

“HATTER?! Hurry up!” the Queen bellowed, breaking his daze.

With a huff and a yank, he managed to get the zipper all the way up. “There we go!” he said wiping the sweat off his brow with the back of his gloved hand.

“Finally! Now, make sure all my other outfits are ready! I want to make even quicker wardrobe changes than the Duchess did!” she said before stomping off in her shimmering red gown.

The Hatter sighed, his shoulders drooping. He wasn’t sure how the Queen was going to _quickly_ squeeze into _anything_. She’d clearly increased in size since their last fitting.

“Hatter?” a small, wonderfully familiar voice came.

He spun around to see the Hare peeping his head through the red curtains that concealed the dressing room from the stage.

“Yes?” he asked, a smile creeping up his face as a jolt of electricity shot through his body.

“I-I just wanted to make sure you’re good to go…” the Hare said biting his bottom lip worriedly.

“Come in, come in…” the Hatter said, gesturing for him to come closer.

The Hare stepped inside and moved towards him shyly.

“Yes, I think I’m good to go…” the Hatter whispered, observing the Hare’s fitted orange trousers and his light blue blazer.

“Good…it’s a packed house…the Duchess is already here…turning up her nose at everything, of course…and the Tweedles finally got the music under control…” he rambled, averting his eyes to the floor.

The Hatter’s heart started thudding against his chest. Seeing the Hare nervous and antsy always did something strange to him. He instinctively wanted to reach out and grab him by the shoulders, hover over him, and tell him everything would be fine.

“I’m sure it will all go fine…” the Hatter said in a low voice, moving a step closer, his hands itching to reach out and touch him.

The Hare paused and looked up at him, his brown eyes widening. “I-I just hope the Duchess doesn’t find fault with my desserts…” he whispered, never breaking his gaze.

“I don’t see how she could…” the Hatter murmured, his cornflower blue eyes going dark. And was it just his imagination or was the Hare _leaning_ towards him?

“Well, she might…”

“She won’t…”

Suddenly, the Hatter felt very brave.

He stared down at the Hare’s mouth and swallowed hard. It was now or never, he thought, setting his jaw. The Hare wasn’t running away, if anything he seemed resolute in his stance, as if…as if he _wanted_ the same thing the Hatter did.

“WELCOME, WELCOME!” the deafening voice of the Caterpillar bellowed, making them wince and cover their ears. There was a loud screeching sound followed by miserable, pained groans from the audience.

“Sorrrrry about that,” the Caterpillar droned. “Technical difficultiesssss…”

“Hare! It’s time!” Alice said peeping her head through the curtains.

“Coming…” the Hare replied, staring sadly at the Hatter as if he wanted desperately to stay.

“Hatter! Get ready!” the Queen hissed, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

“Yes, your Majesty,” he said, still staring at the Hare, wishing he could rewind time and go back to their private moment.

But just like that, they were torn apart again.

“How’s my hair?” the Queen snapped.

“It’s perfect, your Majesty,” he said grumpily.

“Oh, harrumph! It better be better than just _perfect_!” she spat, spinning around.

“It’s extraordinary!” he replied, plastering a huge, fake grin on his face.

She narrowed her beady eyes at him.

“And now, the Red Queen would like to say a few a words…” the voice of the Caterpillar droned.

“It’s time!” she said, grinning maliciously and rubbing her hands together.

She flung the curtain aside and disappeared.

The audience clapped and cheered and the Queen began her long-winded opening speech.

The Hatter frustratingly fiddled with the Queen’s rack of clothes, not caring about the fashion show anymore; he just desperately wished he could be some place private with the Hare.

He shivered at the thought and then sighed.

***

\---The Hare---

“I think we should put the tea cakes in the _center_ of the table…” Alice said tapping her finger to her chin.

“Hmm?” the Hare noised, frowning.

“The tea cakes…I think the Queen would prefer them in the center…”

“Oh, right…sure…” the Hare said absently, not really caring where they went.

All he could think about was the Hatter and the look he’d had on his face back in the Queen’s dressing room. He was certain the Hatter wanted to kiss him—if only they hadn’t been interrupted for the _millionth_ time. Maybe it was time for him to be brave and make the first move. He was becoming very impatient and nothing seemed to be working so far…Maybe it was up to him to accomplish what they both wanted…

“There, isn’t that better?” Alice’s whiny voice came, making him wince.

“It’s perfect,” he muttered, glancing at the bright red tea cakes arranged in the shape of a heart on the golden cake stand.

“Hare, are you all right? You seem…not yourself…”

“Oh, I’m fine…just anxious…”

“Well, the display looks wonderful! And I can’t see anyone finding fault with your treats! Not even the Duchess!”

“Thanks…” he murmured, looking up to see that the Queen was still rambling on with her welcome speech.

When she finally took a breath, the Caterpillar droned, “And now, let the show beginnnn…”

The crowd clapped and cheered excitedly.

The Hare noticed the Tweedles fiddling with their record player as the Cheshire Cat laughed at them from above. He narrowed his eyes, wondering if the Cat was up to something.

Scanning the crowd he noticed the Duchess, dressed all in white lace with her giant, royal purple sash draped across her midsection and a disapproving, upturned nose.

And then there was the camera crew, filming the show, and flittering about, trying to get different angles.

Hordes of other Wonderlandians were in attendance, excitedly chattering amongst themselves and gazing admiringly at the plethora of red and gold decorations.

He thought of the Hatter and wondered if he was having trouble squeezing the Queen into her next outfit.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at the visual.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Oh, hurry up!”

“I’m _trying_, your Majesty,” the Hatter wheezed as he strained to pull the zipper up on her red and white polka dot casual wear dress.

“Well, try HARDER!” she huffed.

With another furious yank, he managed to get it up.

“How do I look?” she asked, whipping around.

He frowned slightly, suddenly seeing her as a giant, polka dotted beach ball with arms and legs.

“You look fabulous!” he said with a sly grin. “They’re going to _love_ it!”

“Good!”

She whipped the curtain aside and disappeared onto the stage.

The crowd cheered and oohed and awed, making the Hatter smirk to himself as he realized just how subservient the Queen’s subjects really were.

But when the music started up, he froze.

The sounds of Jamaica filled the air and the crowd started laughing.

He ran to the curtains and peeked out to see the Queen strutting the catwalk like a giant beach ball to the sound of steel drums.

Maybe the Tweedles had thought she was modeling swimwear because the dress was so tight.

He quickly snapped the curtains shut when he saw the Queen turn on her heel and head his way, a look of fury on her face.

“What was THAT!?” she barked. “Are those Tweedles trying to by clever?” she spat.

“Um…no, your Majesty…I think they just got confused and thought you were modeling beach wear…”

“Well then why was everyone laughing?” she fumed.

“Because they...were happy?”

“Oh, harrumph! Just get me changed into the next outfit…”

Next, he helped her squeeze into a red pant suit with a matching red sequins hat.

When she walked out onto the stage this time, twangy Western music blared and the audience roared with laughter. She strutted down the catwalk to “showdown” music…as if she were about to have a gun fight with an invisible enemy.

The Hatter grimaced as he watched her stop mid-stride and glare directly at the cackling Duchess, before stomping off the stage.

“I’ve had it with those Tweedles and their jokes! This is not the music I approved of! It was supposed to be upbeat for casual wear, classical for evening gowns…”

“Maybe they’re just having technical issues…”

The audience did seem to thoroughly enjoy the bizarre song choices, despite the Queen’s protests. They laughed every time she came out on stage.

By the time the Hatter helped her into her last outfit of the evening, a sparkling red evening gown with a long train, he was completely exhausted.

And when the Queen walked out on the stage for the last time, he was pretty sure the song that began playing was called “The Cotton Eyed Jo” and something Alice had once told him about. The audience peeled with laughter and the Queen ate it up.

The _people_ weren’t the only ones laughing, though; the Cheshire Cat was cackling hysterically as he watched the Tweedles in a panic, throwing records around looking for the right one. 

The Hatter smirked and shut the curtain. Well, at least his outfits all turned out well, he thought…even if they were a little _tight_. He was relieved the show was almost over and he could finally go and find the Hare.

***

\---The Hare---

“Punch?” the Hare absently asked a guest as the audience began to line up at the dessert table.

“Yes, please!” the Walrus bellowed. “And one for my friend, Penniped!” he said nodding to his right.

The Hare blinked, quickly remembering the Walrus’ invisible friend and handed him two glass goblets filled with bubbling red liquid.

He looked around anxiously, straining his bespectacled eyes for any sign of the Hatter. He was probably busy packing the Queen’s wardrobe up, he thought.

“You know, I hate to say it, but these strawberry tarts really are _scrummy_…” the Duchess said, shoving another one in her mouth. “Ever thought of becoming a full-time baker?”

The Hare sputtered, completely shocked she was actually complimenting him. “Well, no…”

“Well, maybe you _should_…” she crooned with a wink. “Here—take my card. I’m looking for a royal baker, and you just might fit the bill…and wouldn’t ole’ Twinkle toes be simply _furious_…” she muttered under her breath with a wicked grin.

“Th-thanks…” the Hare stammered, taking the glittery white card and shoving it in his breast pocket. “I’ll think about it…”

“You do that!” she sniffed before disappearing into the crowd.

He shook his head, surprised she’d really want to hire him. Maybe the Hatter was right…maybe he really was talented enough to have his own bakery in the city.

After getting everyone served and nearly giving out all of his tarts, he was completely exhausted, yet still determined to find the Hatter. He was the one person that had yet to come to the desserts table.

He left Alice to pack up the leftovers, and began wandering aimlessly through the crowd of chattering people. At least the show was a success, he thought. The Tweedle’s issues with the music seemed to be more of a _hit_ with the crowd than a _miss_; the show had certainly been more memorable than the Duchess’. He smirked thinking about how _thrilled_ the Queen would be to have one-upped her rival.

He was completely lost in thought, not paying attention to his surroundings, when he looked up and noticed the crowd had parted.

He froze, feeling his heart jump to his throat, because who should be standing in the empty space but the Mad Hatter—looking rather _mad_ in his rumpled purple suit, with his jaw set and a determined crease etched between his brows.

As if in slow motion, they moved towards each other, oblivious to anything else around them.

“Hi,” the Hatter said, staring down at him with dark eyes.

“Hi,” the Hare replied, his voice barely coming out above a whisper.

“Wanna take a walk with me?”

“Yes,” the Hare squeaked.

They walked silently together, past the crowd, past the stage, and out into the Queen’s maze-like rose garden. Twilight was settling in and the farther they moved away from the excitement, the quieter and darker it became. Except for the pounding of his heart, the Hare couldn’t hear anything.

“I think your desserts were a hit…” the Hatter said with his back to him as he appeared to be examining a rose bush.

“I think your fashions were, too…”

“Even if they were a little _tight_?” the Hatter asked with a wry smirk as he turned back around. He was holding onto a single rose and then held it out towards the Hare.

“Yes, even despite that…” the Hare said blushing fiercely as he took the rose. He held it up to his nose, closing his eyes, deeply inhaling the sweet scent.

“Hare?”

“Yes?” he replied, feeling his stomach do a back flip as he flicked his eyes up to the Hatter.

“I…I think you should make those tea cakes again for the Dormouse’s birthday…he’d really love them…”

The Hare scrunched his brows in confusion. That was _not_ what he'd expected the Hatter to say. Why was he rambling on about the Dormouse at a time like this?

“Alright…” he said frowning.

He narrowed his eyes and watched as the Hatter bit his bottom lip, seeming to have some kind of internal struggle.

“Hatter?”

“Yes?” he replied, whipping his head up eagerly and stepping closer.

Suddenly, the Hare was full of determination.

He couldn’t wait any longer.

He had to kiss him _now_.

All the signals were there and he felt braver than he ever had in his life. With a ragged breath, he reached his hands up and clasped the Hatter firmly by his broad shoulders—and then he promptly shoved him back into the roses.

For a moment they both stared at each other in shock, and then the Hare, determined to follow through, stood on his tip toes, narrowed his eyes, and kissed the Hatter squarely on the mouth.

He hadn’t fully realized what he’d done until he felt the Hatter grab hold of his waist and pull him closer.

It felt like he was struck by a bolt of lightening. Fire shot through his body and he was sure it must have killed him because what he felt was too _heavenly_ to be real. The sensation was like warm honey bubbling up from his stomach and rising to his head.

They both pulled back, gasping for air, yet still clinging onto each other.

“Wow!” the Hatter said with huge, round eyes. “Wow, wow, wow!” he continued to repeat.

The Hare swallowed hard and stared up at him, dazed and unable to feel his own body.

“Wow!”

“Y-you said that…” the Hare murmured, going nearly cross-eyed.

“And I’ll say it again! WOW!” the Hatter exclaimed, pumping his fists in the air, getting more and more excited with each declaration.

Before the Hare could reply, the Hatter grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around, staring down at him like the Caterpillar looked at a piece of crisp lettuce, or the Dormouse gazed at a perfectly aged piece of cheese—with pure, _unabashed longing_. He pulled the Hare into his arms and kissed him passionately.

The Hare felt like he was melting into the ground.

He couldn’t hang onto a single thought.

His heart had already left his chest long ago; he felt like he was floating. Was he really enveloped in the Hatter’s arms? Were they really _kissing_?

After all this time?

The Hatter pulled back, still holding him up by the shoulders and gazed down at him with a dopey expression. “Wow…” he murmured.

The Hare gripped the sides of his vest to steady himself and stared up at him with his mouth slightly agape, suddenly feeling words rise to his throat, “I…I’ve wanted to do that for so long…” he breathed.

“Oh, me, too…” the Hatter said in a pained voice, squeezing his shoulders. “For so long…” he murmured, before leaning down and kissing him again, first softly, brushing their lips together, and then more hungrily, with a kind of desperate fervency that left the Hare breathless. He leaned into the Hatter, sliding his arms under his purple jacket and around his waist, reveling in the feel of his crisp undershirt and the warmth of his body.

How long had he dreamed of touching him like this?

“And the rose garden is just over here…” the Queen’s voice drifted on the night air, making them both flinch and jump apart, simultaneously wiping their mouths and then smoothing down their clothes.

The sounds of footsteps were growing louder by the second.

“Come on!” the Hatter said, grabbing his hand and pulling him further into the darkness.

The Hare squeezed back tightly and followed close behind him, grinning uncontrollably and entirely ready to go anywhere, and do _anything_, that the Hatter wanted.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter didn’t have a plan.

He didn’t care where they went as long as they were alone. He held onto the Hare’s hand with a vice grip as he pushed aside tree branches and stumbled over tangled roots. They finally emerged in a clearing amongst some large trees. There was a giant boulder covered in moss and the sound of running water somewhere nearby.

“Where are we?” the Hare whispered, turning around.

“I dunno exactly,” the Hatter said, furrowing his brows.

The clouds cleared and moonlight illuminated their surroundings.

“Wh-what about Woebears?” the Hare asked in a shaky voice.

“I don’t think they’d be this near the palace…” the Hatter said turning towards him, almost able to see him as clear as day under the bright moon.

He narrowed his eyes to his mouth and moved closer.

A small grin crept up the Hare’s face as he reached out and clasped both of the Hatter’s gloved hands in his own. “So you’ve really wanted to kiss me for a while?”

“You have no idea…” the Hatter replied, starting to smirk. “Ever since you moved in, and even before that…” he trailed off.

“Really? Well, what took you so long?” he asked with a chuckle.

The Hatter blushed and bit his lip. “I was…afraid…”

“Afraid? Of what?”

“That you didn’t feel the same.”

“I thought the same thing about _you_! I’ve been worried sick these past few weeks, wanting to make a move but too scared to because I wasn’t sure how you felt…” he rambled.

“Just these _past few weeks_?” the Hatter asked cocking a brow.

“Well, okay, longer than that…but I was just actually _brave_ enough to _try_ these past two weeks…” he said grinning.

“What made you so brave?”

The Hare frowned and twitched his mouth to the side before finally saying, “Desire.”

“Oh.”

“And you?”

“The same thing, I suppose,” the Hatter said flushing, and then a pained expression crossed his face.

“What is it?”

“It’s been _agony_ living with you and not being able to _be_ with you!” the Hatter half yelled, throwing his hands in the air.

The Hare’s mouth fell open and then he started laughing.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing…it’s just, I felt the _same_ way…”

“Oh.”

“So I guess we’ve both been pretty _miserable_…” the Hare said grinning.

The Hatter relaxed and slid his hands up the Hare’s arms, and then his shoulders, until he was gently gripping his neck.

“Well not anymore…” he murmured, his eyes going dark.

And then he leaned down and kissed the Hare’s mouth.

The Hare clung onto his triceps, melting under his touch once again. “Not anymore,” he repeated, straining towards his lips.

***


	9. The Aftermath

***

\---The Hare---

It had been hard to go their separate ways the night before, both not wanting to put any distance between them, but eventually they did, reluctantly going to their separate rooms and collapsing on their separate beds.

~~~

The Hare lay in his bed the next morning and stared up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure if he’d actually slept or not. How could he after what had transpired the night before? All he could think about was kissing the Hatter. They’d spent several hours wandering around the forest, stealing kisses, and gazing up at the moon.

It was like a dream.

He huffed and rolled to his side. What would it be like living together now that they’d both declared their feelings? Would it be awkward? Wonderful?

Maybe a little of both.

Could he kiss him any time he wanted?

He gulped just thinking about it.

There was a loud clatter from downstairs, making him flinch and nearly fall out of bed.

Was the Hatter already up and cooking breakfast? It sounded like a metal utensil had hit the floor.

With a grunt, he rolled out of bed and slipped on his robe, then groggily padded down the stairs in his slippers, searching for the source of the racket.

When he peeked into the kitchen he found the Hatter, standing in front of the oven, flipping pancakes with his brows scrunched in deep concentration and his lips pursed.

The Hare looked around, wide-eyed, noticing the pastel plates of towering pancakes lining every surface in the room.

Was the Hatter cooking breakfast for everyone in Wonderland?

He cleared his throat and the Hatter jumped, flipping a pancake onto the ceiling, where it stuck like glue with no intention of falling.

“Oh! Hare! You’re up!” the Hatter said hastily in a rather high voice whilst fidgeting with the spatula and avoiding eye contact.

“Hatter, is everything _okay_?” the Hare asked, shuffling closer and narrowing his eyes. The Hatter seemed completely out of sorts…even more so than usual.

“Well, of course! Why wouldn’t they be?” he asked with a nervous laugh, pouring more pancake batter onto the hot griddle.

“Well…you’ve made enough pancakes to feed an army…”

“So I may have gotten a _little_ carried away…but you can never have _too_ many pancakes…” he said with a sniff.

“Hatter.”

“Hmm?”

“_Hatter_.”

He finally looked up at the Hare and raised his brows, innocently.

“What’s this _really_ all about?”

The Hatter stared at the floor, twisting his mouth to the side. “I dunno…I guess I was just excited…or nervous…or _both_. I wanted to make you a nice breakfast,” he pouted, crossing his arms and leaning against the cabinet.

“But you _have_,” the Hare said in a reassuring tone. “I just don’t need a _million_ pancakes to be happy." He grinned and moved closer. “Just because we…well, you know…_kissed_...It doesn’t mean we need to act any differently towards each other.”

The Hatter glanced up at him and blushed, then quickly looked away.

The Hare couldn’t help but think he looked completely adorable turning red in his purple bathrobe with messy hair and smudges of flour all over his face. He moved closer and clutched his crossed arms, “Things don’t have to be weird unless we want them to be,” he said, starting to grin as he leaned in and gently pecked his lips.

He pulled away and stared up at him.

The Hatter was now a deep shade of maroon with a giant smile spreading up his face.

“Weird is_ good_,” he breathed, wrapping his hands around the Hare’s waist and pulling him snugly against his body.

“Indeed it is…” the Hare replied, smirking up at him.

***

\---The Hatter---

They had just sat down to breakfast when there was a loud thud on the front door.

“Must be the paper!” the Hatter said excitedly as he jumped up from the table, suddenly remembering that the reviews for the fashion show would be printed in the Wonderland Bee for everyone to see. His stomach twisted at the thought. He really had no idea how his fashions, or the show itself, had been received.

He opened the door and snatched the paper up, too nervous to even look at it.

“What does it say?” the Hare asked eagerly as he dabbed a bit of syrup from the corner of his mouth with a napkin.

“I can’t look…I’m too nervous…” the Hatter replied with a pained expression, feeling the coffee in his empty stomach began to swirl around.

“Give it here,” the Hare said with a smirk. “It can’t be _that_ bad…I mean, aside from the music it—" he broke off as he stared at the front page with wide eyes.

“What is it?” the Hatter breathed.

“Oh…well, it’s nothing…I mean, it says—‘The show was as delightful as it was humorous’…”

“Well, that is _true_, I suppose…” the Hatter said furrowing his brows, “but what does it say about the _clothes_?”

He watched as the Hare bit his lip, a troubled expression crossing his face.

“Hare?”

“Oh, fine…see for yourself…” the Hare said handing him the paper.

Hesitantly, the Hatter stared down at the front page. Instead of seeing the Queen in one of her many gowns, he saw a picture of the Hare’s tarts with the title, “Fashion Show Upstaged by Tarts!”

“Wh-what?”

“I guess everyone really loved the desserts…”

“But it barely even mentions the _clothes_…”

“Oh, well I think it said to turn to page C5 to see some pictures from the show…”

The Hatter hastily turned to the very last page of the paper. There was a picture of the Queen in the ill-fitting red and white polka dot dress with the caption, “Beach Ball Fashions Fit for Royalty!” and then another picture of the Queen in a glittery green evening gown with the caption, “Sea Monster Season!”

He gaped.

“Is it so bad?” the Hare asked squirming in his seat.

“Well it’s not _good_,” the Hatter snapped.

“Look, Hatter, I’m sorry…I had no idea they’d focus more on the _food_…I mean, that’s not even what the show was about. And it’s not _your_ fault the Queen grew several sizes since your last fitting. Everything you designed for her was amazing, as usual…”

The Hatter felt sick.

His reputation as a designer had just been upstaged by a _plate of tarts_. He ran his hands back through his hair and sighed.

“Just let it go…Everyone will forget soon enough…”

“I doubt the _Queen_ will…” the Hatter groaned, resting his face in his palms.

“Well, hey, look on the bright side…You didn’t really want to get famous from this anyway. So it all worked out.”

“Worked out?” the Hatter spat, staring at him incredulously. “So maybe I didn’t want to move to the city and be a _famous designer_…But I didn’t want _this_! My reputation outdone by…by well—your TARTS!” he half yelled.

“I—I…” the Hare stuttered, his brown eyes filling to the brim with tears.

The Hatter instantly wished he could take back his words. This whole ordeal wasn’t the _Hare’s_ fault, after all…"Hare, I’m—" but he was cut off by a loud banging on the front door.

“HATTER! I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!” came the enraged voice of the Red Queen.

“The Queen!” the Hatter hissed. He jumped up from the table and ran to the door.

“HATTER!” she bellowed, shoving the door open just as he was turning the knob.

The White Rabbit was cowering behind her, nervously biting his nails.

She shoved the paper in the Hatter’s shocked face. “WHAT IS THIS?! Why are TARTS on the front page and not ME?! And why are they comparing me to a BEACH BALL and a SEA MONSTER?!”

“Your Majesty…I think there’s been some kind of mix-up…or maybe this is just a _joke_…”

“A JOKE?! Who would DARE play a joke on ME?!”

“Or…or maybe the Hare’s tarts really are th-that good,” the White Rabbit stammered.

The Queen turned around and narrowed her beady eyes at him. “What was that, Rabbit?” she asked in an overly-sweet voice.

“N-nothing your Majesty…” he said lowering his head and wincing.

“That’s what I thought. Now, where’s the Hare?” she snapped, turning on the Hatter with a pointed finger.

“He…he’s inside…but really Your Majesty, it’s not _his_ fault…He just baked the desserts like you asked. If no one liked your wardrobe then the only person to blame is…_me_…”

“Oh, harrumph!” she said stomping her foot. “The Duchess is never going to let me live this down! Upstaged by tarts…”

“I’ll do whatever I can to make this up to you,” the Hatter pleaded. “Another fashion show…a new wardrobe…_anything_.”

“I think you’ve done quite enough!” she huffed. “There’s nothing that can be done right now…except…I’m going to call that paper and give them an earful! RABBIT!” she bellowed.

“Y-yes your Majesty?”

“Get the Wonderland Bee on the phone!”

“I’m right on it, your Majesty,” he said before wheeling away.

“And you tell the Hare that if he ever tries to upstage me again—he’ll be looking for a NEW HOME!”

“But he lives _here_ now, your Majesty…”

“I mean he’ll be _leaving_ Wonderland!” she hollered, before whipping around and stomping off, her red cape flying out behind her.

The Hatter watched her go with his mouth hanging open.

Would the Queen really banish the Hare from Wonderland just because his desserts tasted better than she looked on a catwalk?

His heart started pounding.

Surely not.

But then again, the Queen had been known to make _extreme decisions_ when enraged. One never wanted to play a game of chess with her.

He walked back inside and shut the door, locking it just in case she decided to return.

When he went back in the kitchen he found it empty. He frowned and walked up the stairs. “Hare?” he called as he opened the door to the attic. “Are you up here?”

He was completely shocked to find the Hare bent over a large trunk, hastily shoving clothes inside.

“Hare—what are you doing?”

“I’ve messed everything up…” he said in a broken voice. “I-I think it would just be better if I left…”

“Left? I don’t think so!” the Hatter hissed, rushing over and snatching the stack of clothes right from his hands.

“But Hatter, don’t you see? I’ve already ruined your reputation as a designer…and…and I heard what the Queen said,” he whispered, wiping a tear off his cheek and sniffling.

“I don’t care what the _Queen_ says!” the Hatter bellowed as he let the stack of clothes fall to the floor. “All that matters is what _I_ say!” he said stepping closer and grabbing the Hare squarely by the shoulders.

“And I don’t want you to leave.”

The Hare looked up at him with a tear-stained face and wide eyes. “Really?” he sniffled.

“Yes, really! And the Queen’s just _angry_…but she’ll get over it soon enough, I’m sure. And be mad about something else, and at _someone_ else…And besides, you didn’t even do anything _wrong_,” he said staring down at him.

“But what about you?” the Hare hiccupped.

“I’ll be fine! My reputation isn’t ruined…not by a long shot. I’ll go on that hat designing competition and prove them all wrong if I have to…that’s where my greatest talent lies anyway.”

“So you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive! You’re an amazing baker and I’m glad you’re finally being recognized for it…”

The Hare smiled at him wistfully.

In less than a second, the Hatter had leaned down and kissed him hard on the mouth, clutching his shoulders tightly and lifting him off his feet.

After a moment they broke apart and stared at each other.

“Better?” the Hatter breathed as his heart beat out of his chest.

“Better,” the Hare grinned mischievously before grabbing hold of the Hatter’s robe and yanking him in for another one.

***

\---The Hare---

Thankfully, they didn’t have any more impromptu visits from the Queen, but judging by the front page of the Wonderland Bee the next day—it was because she’d gotten her way.

The paper featured a special spread on all of her outfits, accompanied by commentary that could have only been written by the Queen herself: “A delightful green gown that would be the _envy_ of any queen!”, “A white so bright it makes the Duchess’ dress look _yellow_ in comparison!”, “Polka dots that not only slim, but accentuate your best assets!”

The Hare smirked as he set the paper down on the coffee table.

“I picked up the dry-cleaning!” the Hatter said, as he bounded into the room caring an arm-full of plastic covered clothes. “They were able to get that strawberry jam stain out of your jacket after all!” he said proudly, tossing the bundle onto an empty chair.

“Oh thank goodness!” the Hare replied as he lounged on the sofa. 

“But this was in your breast pocket…” the Hatter said, holding out a small, white glittering card to the Hare.

“Oh…that!” the Hare yelped, his eyes going wide. “It’s nothing.”

“It doesn’t look like _nothing_…” the Hatter said narrowing his eyes. “Spill.”

“Well…actually…it’s from the Duchess…”

“The Duchess?”

“Yes…she offered me a job…as her royal baker in fact,” the Hare squirmed, unable to look at him.

“What?!”

“It’s not like I’m gonna take it!” the Hare nearly yelled. “I mean…I would never…_could never_…”

“Yeah, but Hare, this is your _future_ we’re talking about,” the Hatter said thoughtfully, sitting down next to him. “Don’t be so quick to brush off this opportunity.” 

The Hare frowned. He assumed the Hatter would be _glad_ he wasn’t interested in the job…it would after all, mean leaving him.

“But she would expect me to live there…at her palace…”

The Hatter suddenly got very quiet.

“And I could never leave you…I’d never want to,” the Hare said clutching his arm. “Hatter…look at me.”

The Hatter finally stared at him, his blue eyes sad.

“I’m not going to take it.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to hold you back from anything.”

“You’re _not_. I would never want to work for the Duchess anyway! And like I said, I’d never want to leave you. I’m so happy here! Baking is just something I do for fun…It’s not my job.”

“But maybe one day you’ll want it to be.”

“And if I ever do, that decision won’t involve leaving you. We’re a team!” he said poking the Hatter in the ribs. “Wherever I go, I know you go!”

The Hatter squirmed and tried not to grin, but couldn’t help it. “Okay, okay, well just know that I don’t want to hold you back from your dreams.”

The Hare got quiet and turned towards him, cupping his face in his hands, “But you _are_ my dream,” he murmured before kissing his lips.

***


	10. Dreams

***

\---The Hatter---

“Hare, you brought egg rolls!”

“Of course! I know they’re your _favorite_!”

“Well, you just thought of everything!” the Hatter said with a massive grin as he unpacked the wicker picnic basket.

“It’s a beautiful day to be outdoors!” the Hare remarked as he reclined on the red checkered blanket. “I’m surprised we haven’t seen anyone else.”

“Am _I_ not _anyone else_?…” a familiar voice purred.

The Cheshire Cat’s large grin appeared before the rest of his body. “Have any extra cream?”

“Oh! Hello, Cat!” the Hatter said cheerfully. “Let me see!” He rummaged in the picnic basket and then held up a cupcake with a large dollop of white icing. “No, but we do have cupcakes!”

“Suits me!” the Cat purred, and with a “pop” the dessert appeared balanced on his furry paw. “My favorite,” he sighed, before ceremoniously licking the topping off with his large, pink tongue.

The Hare scrunched his nose up as he watched him. “You better eat that _entire thing_, Cat. No one wants a cupcake without frosting.”

“Of course!” the Cat purred, popping the cake in his enormous mouth. “Speaking of _frosting_…did you get any interesting _offers_ after the fashion show?”

“How did you know about _that_?” the Hare snapped.

The Hatter watched his reaction with narrowed eyes.

“Know about what, exactly?” the Cat purred.

“Well…my…other offers, I mean,” the Hare said squirming.

“I didn’t…that’s why I was _asking_…but now that you mention it…whoooo made you an offer?”

The Hatter couldn’t help but wonder if the Cat already knew _exactly_ who. He always seemed to know things _before_ they’d been made public…one of the many perks of invisibility…and _eavesdropping_.

“Well, the Duchess _may_ have asked me to come bake for her…but I’m going to turn down the offer,” the Hare stammered. “So don’t go spreading this information around!”

“Who? Meeee?” the Cat purred, his grin growing larger by the second until he completely disappeared and there was nothing left but thin air.

“Oh! He always weasels things out of me!” the Hare said clenching his fists. “There’s no telling what he’ll do now.”

“Well, it doesn’t really matter anyway…because you’re not taking the Duchess up on her offer…Right?”

“Right!”

The Hatter couldn’t help but think the Hare seemed somewhat conflicted in his answer. He might have said “right” but his eyes spoke differently.

Maybe he secretly _did_ want to take the job.

“Let’s finish all this food before the bugs descend…or worse yet, the _Tweedles_…” the Hatter said, turning his attention to his plate of egg rolls.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare hated to admit it, but there was a teensy-weensy part of him that was curious what it would be like to be a real baker. He certainly _enjoyed_ baking different things and the challenges that came with it, but he doubted working for someone like the _Duchess_ would be an _enjoyable_ experience. She was even more demanding than the Red Queen, if possible.

“Penny for your thoughts?” the Dormouse squeaked from the tea table.

“Oh, Dormouse, you don’t have to _pay_ me for my thoughts!” the Hare said with a bemused chuckle.

“It’s just an expression.”

“Oh…well, I was just imagining what it would be like to have my own bakery…”

“Here in Wonderland?”

“Or possibly someplace else…but I could never…_would never_…leave the Hatter…even if it meant pursuing some long-held, shoved-down…distant…dream…” he trailed off.

“You’re _leaving_ the Hatter?!”

The Hare flinched and looked up to see both Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee frowning at him with their hands on their hips.

“No! I was just _hypothesizing_…Erm, are you here for tea?” he asked quickly, desperate to change the subject.

“No, we just came by to drop off the Hatter’s walkie-talkies. Tell him they’re all fixed and good as new!” Dee said proudly.

“And we brought your mail, too!” Dum said handing the Hare a giant, glittery white card.

“Th-thanks,” the Hare stuttered, staring ominously at the piece of mail.

“Hey, that card almost looks like the Duchess’ dress!” Dee remarked.

“Just a coincidence…” the Hare said squirming.

“Well, we promised we’d meet the Caterpillar for a game of checkers—so we’ll see you later!” Dum said before they both trotted off.

“Bye,” the Hare breathed, turning the card over. It was a postcard, and written in ostentatious, loopy script it said:

_“Visit me soon, dear Hare!”_

He gulped and set the card on the table. Just like the Red Queen, the Duchess was _persistent_. Even if he did tell her “no”, would she relent?

Probably not.

The Hatter came singing through the garden gate and the Hare jumped, shoving the giant card inside his jacket and trying to look busy.

“Da-dee-da-doo—Hare? Is everything alright?”

“Y-yes,” the Hare stuttered, accidentally knocking a teacup off the table. “I’m sorry!” he blurted out, unsure if he was really sorry for two things instead of one.

“Hare, you know I don’t care!” the Hatter laughed before jumping on top of the table and kicking a pile of dishes to the floor. He continued to dance as the Hare watched him with his mouth hanging open.

“Hey! What’s all the excitement?” the Dormouse hollered, peeping out of his house.

“Well, I’m glad you asked, Dormouse!” the Hatter said falling to his knees before the blue teapot. “Guess who just got accepted to be on “Wonderland’s Top Hat”?

“Who?” the mouse squeaked.

“ME!!!” the Hatter bellowed, jumping up again and dancing the length of the table, scattering dishes as he went.

“Hatter that’s wonderful!” the Hare exclaimed.

“Thank you! I just found out! I thought I might get something in the mail—strangely enough we didn’t have anything…but then, just as I was headed home, I walked past Crystal and she gave me the exciting news! It’s going to be televised and everything!” he gushed.

“Amazing!” the Hare said, suddenly feeling guilty for not mentioning his _second_ invitation from the Duchess. “Well, I’ll be cheering you on the whole way! I’m sure you’ll win!”

The Hatter jumped off the table and blushed, “Aw, thanks, Hare! I hope I do! I’d sure like a life-time supply of Bizby’s Buttons, _and_ a special article written about me in the Wonderland Bee. Fingers crossed!” he said before grabbing the Hare by the shoulders and kissing him on the mouth.

The Hare was too dazed to say anything after he’d been released, and by the time he’d gotten his bearings, the Hatter had skipped off into the house.

He was happy for him—_genuinely_. The Hatter was pursuing his dream and the Hare wondered if maybe it wasn’t time for him to start pursuing his own. Though, it wasn’t like he’d _always_ dreamed of baking, it was just something he’d enjoyed doing. He never could have imagined his skills would be desired by royalty…and of course being with the Hatter was his _main dream_…but maybe a person could have more than one?

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was so excited about being on Wonderland’s Top Hat that he could hardly concentrate on anything else. Even though the fashion show hadn’t been as successful as he’d hoped, it still brought him the recognition he needed to be invited on the show. _Hats_ were his true passion after all, and getting to prove that he was the best hat maker in Wonderland was a dream come true.

“Hare, are you going to be around the rest of today? I might need to borrow your head…”

“My head?” the Hare asked, looking confused.

“I can’t use a _mannequin_ all the time! I need to see what my hats look like on an actual person…”

“Oh…Well…I was planning on visiting…my _mother_!” he blurted out, turning red.

“Oh, well that’s okay…We can do a fitting tomorrow. Is everything alright with your mother? I thought she was traveling?”

“Well…she _was_…but now she’s _home_…and wanted me to come and visit…”

“Well, that’s nice! Tell her I said ‘hello’ and that she’s welcome to visit anytime.”

“I will! So I’ll probably be gone all day…not sure what time I’ll get back,” the Hare said squirming at the breakfast table.

The Hatter scrunched his brows and narrowed his eyes at him. “Hare, are you okay?”

“Never been better!” he blurted out before standing up abruptly. “I’ll see you this evening!”

And with that, he ran out the door.

The Hatter sat there with his mouth slightly agape. Why was the Hare acting so strange? And since _when_ did he skip off to visit with his mother? She was rarely ever home.

And more importantly, why didn’t he _kiss_ him goodbye?

"Curious" he muttered, and then with a heavy sigh, he grabbed his coffee cup and trudged upstairs to work on some new designs.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare hated to just run out on the Hatter like that, but he felt too guilty to be questioned anymore. Lying about visiting his mother was bad enough. The last thing he wanted to tell the Hatter was that he was going to visit the Duchess about a job he’d said he wasn’t even interested in. But he felt like in order to fully make up his mind, he had to at least go and see.

It took him nearly an hour to get to the Duchess’ palace, and he wished the whole way that he could have driven the banana car and saved on time.

The Duchess’ palace was similar to the Queen’s in extravagance, except for one difference—_everything was white._

White roses climbed the cream colored bricks of the castle and white flags blew in the wind on every terrace. White marble statues of chess pieces lined the white gravel paths, while white doves fluttered around the white fountains, playing in the crystal clear water.

It was a beautiful and yet slightly _unsettling_ sight.

The Hare had never seen so much _white_.

“HALT!” an enormous white marble statue of an armor clad knight bellowed.

The Hare nearly jumped out of his skin.

“WHO GOES THERE?” the voice boomed from an unmoving mouth. The statue had its arms crossed in front of itself in the shape of an X, blocking the Hare from entering the palace gates.

“Th-the March H-Hare,” he stuttered. “I have an invitation,” he said with trembling fingers as he held up the Duchess’ glittering card.

“YOU MAY PROCEED,” the statue said, uncrossing its arms and moving to the side as the gate magically swung open.

The Hare gulped and walked past him, his heart beating out of his chest. The Queen didn’t have guards like that around her palace…at least not that he was aware of.

With legs like jelly, he walked up the marble steps to the giant marble front doors, and was just about to bang the knocker, when the doors suddenly opened on their own accord.

“March Hare! You came after all!” he heard the voice of the Duchess say. He looked up to see her descending a white marble staircase, her long, white lace gown trailing behind her.

“Of course,” he said, giving her a small bow. “Duchess.”

“How delightful!” she said with glittering blue eyes and an overly-large, white smile. “Come, come this way—let me show you the royal kitchens! I have _so_ many plans for you!”

He smiled and swallowed hard, taken aback by the fact that the Duchess already had _plans_ for him. What kinds of plans?

He followed her to the kitchens in awe.

The entire inside of the castle was white marble. There were more statues and chase lounges covered in fluffy white throws, and every surface had a crystal vase on it filled with white roses. It was like a snow palace and she was the Snow Queen.

“Here they are,” she said with a satisfied smirk. “The royal kitchens!”

His eyes were the size of saucers as he stared around the enormous kitchen. It held endless cabinets, and endless counter space, and at least a dozen ovens. There were baking utensils he’d never even seen before; jars of sprinkles, and nuts, and dried fruit, and giant vats of sugar and flour.

It was like _heaven_.

“You should have everything you would ever need to make the most wonderful treats for me!” she gushed, clasping her elegant hands together, her diamond rings sparkling.

“Y-yes,” he stammered, barely able to speak.

“Well, I’ll just leave you to it then! Let you get comfortable…” she said backing away.

“W-wait, your Maj—I mean, _Duchess_, this is just a trial, right? I mean, I haven’t officially committed to anything,” he said turning red, unsure how to phrase his concerns.

“Exactly, dear Hare…Just a _trial run_. You can go at any time…or at least _try_…” she muttered under her breath. “Just enjoy yourself! And then we can talk!” she said in a louder, overly-saccharine voice.

“Oh, okay,” he said scrunching his brows. “So, I’ll just bake something then?”

“Yes, that sounds wonderful!” she said grinning, “Just _enjoy_ yourself!” and then she slipped out the giant double doors.

He stared around the room, thinking.

Was he being tricked in some way?

Surely not, the Duchess had been very nice and extraordinarily charitable…though, when had he ever seen the Red Queen, or the Duchess, be _genuinely_ philanthropic?

He hadn’t.

But there was a first time for everything. Maybe the Duchess simply wanted the best baker in Wonderland, and she thought that was him.

With a smug smirk he crossed his arms and started walking around the room. Yes, he could certainly see himself creating amazing things in this space.

He’d never want for anything.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was restless.

He didn’t like being at home without the Hare. He didn’t like being without him ever. Why didn’t the Hare invite him to go see his mother, too? Come to think of it, he’d never even _met_ her, only talked to her on the phone. Was the Hare trying to keep their new relationship a secret? Had he even told his mother?

Was he _ashamed_ of the Hatter and what they meant to each other?

“Ouch!” he yelped as he’d just stuck himself in the finger with a needle. He just couldn’t concentrate. With a huff, he tossed his sewing things onto the table and stood up. He needed some fresh air to clear his head.

He decided to go for a walk.

“Hello, Hatter!” the Dormouse squeaked. “Going somewhere?”

“Yes, Dormouse, I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back in a bit,” he said with a frown.

It was a nice day out, but he didn’t really care. All he could think about was how odd the Hare had acted and how he clearly didn’t want the Hatter to go with him to visit his mother. Obviously, he hadn’t told her about their _living situation_, or if he had—she didn’t approve.

The Hatter knew the Hare’s mother was proud to say the least. She preferred traveling with high society, and occasionally scolded the Hare for choosing to live a simple, country life. She belittled his love for gardening and was always trying to entice him to come and live in the suburbs with her.

Maybe she was _still_ trying.

The Hatter scrunched his brows, deep in thought, and nearly ran right into the White Rabbit.

“Oh! Hatter!” the Rabbit exclaimed, grabbing his shoulders to steady himself on his roller blades. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, yes I’m fine,” the Hatter snapped with an angry face. “I’m just…I don’t’…” he struggled.

“Oh, are you looking for the _Hare_? I saw him pass by here this morning…He didn’t see me…seemed quite focused, wherever he was headed…and I didn’t think—"

“He was going _this_ direction?” the Hatter interrupted.

“Well, yes…I’m almost sure…”

“But the train station is _that_ way,” the Hatter said, pointing to the left to a wooden sign that said “Wonderland Station”.

“Well, yes…but…”

“Why would he be going _this_ way, if his mother lives _that_ way?”

“I don’t know!” the White Rabbit blurted out. “But he was! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be on my way…Important errand for the Queen, and I shan’t keep her waiting,” he said with a sniff and then sped away.

The Hatter was now even more puzzled.

Was the Hare not even going to visit his mother after all? But why would he lie about that?

He huffed and turned around, deciding to go back home and wait for him. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but things certainly weren’t what they seemed.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was elbow deep in flour and sugar and couldn’t have been happier. He had already made a batch of strawberry tarts and had them delivered to the Duchess by one of her unnerving white guards, and she loved them so much that she came down to the kitchens to sing his praises. Now he was making hazelnut scones and vanilla blueberry crumpets. He’d never had so many different ingredients to use in his life.

The Duchess continued to “ooh” and “awe” over everything he made, making him blush and feel exceedingly proud and important.

But by the time he looked up at the clock, he was shocked to find it was half-past five. He realized he’d missed Tea Time with the Hatter—maybe for the second time ever. But surely this was an acceptable excuse not to.

It wasn’t every day one was invited to bake for the _Duchess_.

After cleaning up his mess, and heading for the door, he turned around and looked back at the gleaming white kitchen with longing. He really hated to leave, but maybe he could come back the next day.

“Leaving so soon?” the Duchess asked as she appeared from a marble doorway.

“Y-yes, I need to be getting home…”

“Tomorrow then?” she asked smilingly sweetly.

“That would be nice,” he said with a small bow.

“Until then!” she said as he slipped out the massive double doors.

He was still smilingly all the way down the white gravel pathway, past the marble statues and fountains and white roses, until suddenly, he remembered he had promised to help the Hatter the next day with his hat making. What was he to do now? Make another excuse? He really _did_ want to help the Hatter, but then he thought about the kitchen again and his heart ached. Maybe just one more day couldn’t hurt? He hadn’t even had a chance to make crème Brule, or cheesecake, or chocolate chip cookies…

Another day wouldn’t hurt, he told himself.

He arrived back at the Hatter’s at sundown and was surprised to find the house dark, and when he tried to open the front door, it was locked. His heart stopped and he swallowed hard, wondering what in the world was going on. Had the Hatter left?

He knocked on the door and waited.

A few moments later it opened and the Hatter poked his head out.

“Oh, it’s you,” he said in a bitter tone that caught the Hare by surprise.

“Hatter? What’s going on?”

“Nothing…I must have fallen asleep watching TV...”

“But you locked the front door.”

“I assumed you were gone for the night,” he said with a sniff.

“I told you’d I’d be back today.”

“Well, it didn’t _seem_ like it,” he said coldly.

The Hare stepped inside and flicked the lights on.

“Well, I’m here now,” he snapped, suddenly feeling a surge of anger shoot through his body.

“So I see,” the Hatter said with a yawn before shuffling away.

“Hatter!”

“What?”

“Why are you mad at me?”

“I’m not _mad_. You’re the one that seems all in a tizzy. Oh, and by the way, how was your _mother_?”

“She…she’ fine. It was a nice visit.”

“Really? What did you have for _lunch_?” the Hatter hissed, moving towards him.

“TARTS!” the Hare blurted out. He felt the Hatter look him up and down with narrowed eyes, stopping at a spot on his face. He quickly wiped it with his hand, realizing he had flour there.

“Did she ask about _me_?” the Hatter snapped crossing his arms.

“Wh-what do you mean?”

“What I mean is…does your mother _know about us_?”

The Hare’s mouth fell open. Why was the Hatter asking this?

“That’s what I thought,” the Hatter said smugly, his eyes turning black and his lips forming a thin line.

“I…I…I’m not sure what you mean,” the Hare stuttered, even though he knew _exactly_ what he meant.

“Hare, are you so ashamed? So afraid of…of our _LOVE_ that you won’t even tell your own mother?” he half-yelled.

The Hare was at a complete loss for words. How had the Hatter drawn this conclusion? And how dare he assume he was ashamed!

“I’m not ashamed!” he yelled, red-hot rage flooding his veins. “I don’t even know why you would think that!”

“Because you’re keeping us a secret from your mother!” the Hatter yelled back, stepping even closer towards him and pointing a finger in his face.

“I AM NOT!”

“ARE TOO!

“AM NOT!”

“ARE TOO!” the Hatter bellowed, now an inch from his face.

“I can’t believe you!” the Hare hissed, beet red. He ran up the stairs and slammed the attic door shut.

He was fuming, pacing, wild-eyed and furious. He couldn’t stay there, that much he knew.

He yanked his suitcase out from under the bed and started stuffing it with clothes. He’d go somewhere else, anywhere…How _dare_ the Hatter assume such terrible things about him. What in the world would possess him to think them in the first place?

He clasped his suitcase shut and flung open the door, pounding down the stairs and towards the front door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the Hatter demanded, suddenly appearing in front of him, blocking the way.

“Anywhere but here!” the Hare yelled, shoving past him and out the door.

He knew exactly where he was going.

All he could see was white.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter stood at the door and watched him go in complete shock. What had just happened? How had things escalated so quickly? Was it wrong to accuse the Hare of things he wasn’t exactly sure about?

But the Hare was the one at fault.

Clearly he was lying. If he would just have admitted the truth…that he was too ashamed to tell his mother about their relationship…Though, even then, the Hatter still would have been deeply hurt.

He shut the front door and locked it, knowing that the Hare wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon.

Suddenly, overcome with sadness, he slid down to the floor and held his head in his hands with his elbows resting on his knees. He gasped for air.

He never wanted the Hare to leave, no matter how much they fought.

Surely they could make up from this.

His heart throbbed and he clutched at his chest, feeling the tears spill out of his eyes and onto his coat.

The pain was unbearable.

He had to do something.

But what?

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare continued to stomp down the road with nothing but moonlight and his anger to guide him. Hot tears were spilling down his cheeks and his heart was breaking, but he moved on, not allowing himself to stop for a moment.

And it was all the Hatter’s fault.

How could he accuse him of such things?

The Hare wasn’t the least bit _ashamed_ of their relationship. He didn’t care what his mother thought—or anyone else for that matter.

He was also mad that part of him desperately wished the Hatter would have run after him and apologized.

Why didn’t he try harder?

He must have cared less than he thought.

At least there was one place he knew he was welcome—the Duchess’.

It seemed only minutes later that he looked up and found himself standing back at the entrance to The White Palace. He swallowed hard and surged on, not even fearing the guards.

He was surprised when he walked all the way up to the front doors without being stopped, and just as he was about to knock, the giant doors opened.

“Hare, dear! Back so soon?” the Duchess asked.

“Y-yes…I was wondering if…” he sniffled.

“Oh, poor dear! What ever is the matter?”

“Well, the Hatter and I…we…”

“Say no more! You can stay here! I’ll prepare a room for you!”

“Really? I mean, I can sleep in the kitchen if you like…”

“Of course not! You’ll stay in one of my _best rooms_, just like a guest!”

He stared at her for a moment, thinking that there was the smallest bit of wickedness concealed in her smile, but then he shook it off, assuming he was just imagining things in his frenzy.

“That would be wonderful,” he said, his shoulders slumping from exhaustion.

“Right this way.”

He followed her up the stairs and into one of the grandest rooms he’d ever seen.

A crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling over the bed, and white, wispy curtains ensconced the windows, blowing gently in the night breeze. There was a luxurious white couch and matching antique chairs, and vases of roses covering nearly every surface.

The bed was like a dream. It looked like a white satin cloud nestled under a gauzy canopy, with real roses climbing the white marble bed posts.

“This is too nice,” he murmured.

“Oh, nothing is too nice for a guest!” she said sweetly. “Well, I’ll let you get settled in…I’ll see you tomorrow!” she said before leaving.

“Thank you,” he breathed.

It was all too good to be true.

The Red Queen had never once invited him to stay at her palace. She never had guests. Maybe he’d been wrong all those years to believe the nasty things the Queen had said about the Duchess. She seemed like the most generous person he’d ever known.

Well, maybe next to the Hatter, he thought.

And then his heart began to hurt. He clutched at his chest and took a deep breath. He wouldn’t give it anymore thought.

Right now, he would just enjoy where he was.

He unpacked his suitcase and went into the bathroom, his mouth dropping again as he looked around. It was all white marble and mirrors. A tub the size of a small pool sat in the middle.

There was a shelf full of glass bottles holding clear liquids with different labels. He curiously picked one up and pulled the stopper out. It smelled like sugar cookies. He sighed. Each one was a different bubble bath with a divine smell.

He smiled to himself, thinking he could get used to this.

He stripped off his clothes and turned on the hot water, letting the tub fill a while before adding a few drops of the special liquid.

Soon, the room smelled like freshly baked sugar cookies, warm and sweet.

He dipped a toe in—the water was just right. When he’d fully submerged his entire body, he let out a contented sigh and leaned his head back on the tub. He’d never felt anything like it. There was even a button on the side, that when pressed, caused jets of water to shoot out.

This was truly _heaven_, he thought.

As his anger started to melt away, he felt another pain in his heart. He bet the Hatter would love the tub, and he’d love for him to see it.

Love to even share it with him.

His flushed and scrunched his eyes shut. Why was he having thoughts like this when he was _mad_ at the Hatter?

But he couldn’t just erase his feelings.

The fact was—he still loved him, even despite his accusations and his outburst.

He ran his hands back through his hair and frowned. Maybe they could still work things out.

He wasn’t going to give up just yet.

Eventually, after feeling like a prune, he got out of the tub and dried off, slipping on a pair of silk pajamas he found folded on the counter. He wondered how they got there.

Finally, he collapsed onto the bed and nearly fell asleep as soon as his head touched the satin pillow. He’d never felt anything so luxurious in his whole life.

And once again, his heart hurt, and he wished he could share it with the Hatter.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter couldn’t sleep at all.

He tossed and turned and pulled at his hair. He paced the room, made tea, ate a snack, huffed and puffed, and finally sat in his window seat and stared up at the moon.

Was the Hare staring at the same moon?

His heart ached.

This was the first night they’d been apart since the Hare moved in.

He hated it.

The house felt empty and dead. _He_ felt empty and dead. Now he couldn’t’ even remember why he’d gotten so mad. Maybe the Hare hadn’t really been ashamed after all, and maybe he’d jumped to the wrong conclusions. He should have let him explain himself.

He hugged his knees to his chest and rested his chin on top. Things would be better tomorrow. They’d make amends like they always did.

Though, they’d never really had a fight this _serious_…

He assumed the Hare was either staying at the Holly Hodge Hotel, or that he’d gone all the way back to stay with his mother.

Either way, he’d find him.

He’d apologize, and the Hare would return, and everything would go back to how it was supposed to be.

A tear slid down his cheek and he hugged himself tighter.

***


	11. Change of Heart

***

\---The Hare---

The next morning the Hare woke up to the muffled sounds of something clicking. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, first at shock to find himself in a white cloud, then soon remembering where he was. He grabbed his glasses off the night stand and put them on, blinking his eyes. He then crawled out of bed and padded over to the window, trying to find the source of the racket.

When he looked outside he was surprised to see the Duchess playing croquet in the garden bellow. She was whacking the ball with such vigor that it made a loud cracking sound each time she made contact.

He yawned and shook his head. She certainly was an early riser.

He went to the bathroom and got dressed, still feeling disoriented and groggy. Even though he’d slept well, he still didn’t feel _rested_. Something didn’t feel right.

And then he remembered—he wasn’t with the Hatter.

Of course nothing felt right.

When he headed downstairs the Duchess was just coming through the front door, her croquet mallet rested on her shoulder.

“Good morning, dear Hare! How did you sleep?”

“Wonderful,” he croaked, rubbing his throat, surprised by his scratchy voice.

“Lovely! I was wondering, since you’re such the expert, if you’d like to whip up some breakfast…Some scones, perhaps?” she asked sweetly, batting her long lashes.

“Oh, of course! Yes, I’ll get right on it…” he replied, surprised by her request. Hadn’t he left her with at least a dozen scones the day before? He shook his head as he walked towards the kitchens; maybe she just had a really big appetite—though, judging by her slim frame, it was hard to believe.

The kitchen was just as wonderful and white as he’d remembered. It gleamed like a glassy winter’s lake surrounded by snow.

He yawned as he carried a jar of flour from the cabinet, suddenly wondering if the Hatter was up and making pancakes. He thought about the time he’d covered every surface of the kitchen in plates of pancakes, so nervous because they’d kissed the night before.

His heart hurt again, making him wince.

No, right now, he would focus on where he was…His dream kitchen and his dream job.

Thoughts of the Hatter would have to wait.

After he’d whipped up some fresh scones and brewed the coffee, he carried a glass tray into the dining room, surprised to see the Duchess already sitting down at the head of the table, waiting.

“Oh, how lovely!” she gushed upon seeing the tray. “Thank you, Hare! Won’t you join me?”

“Of course,” he said, setting the tray down and placing the plate of scones in front of her. She stared at them ravenously for a split second, and then quickly changed her expression, smiling sweetly as she daintily placed one on her crystal plate.

“They look delicious!”

He smiled and sat down at the table, placing several on his plate, and then pouring himself some coffee.

He ate in silence, not really tasting anything, and stared out the window, wondering if the Hatter was reading his paper now, with his feet propped up on the tea table and his ankles crossed. Was his hair messy? Was he wearing his purple robe?

Did he feel his absence at all?

When he went to grab another scone off the plate he was shocked to find they were all gone. He looked up to see the Duchess, carefully dabbing the corner of her mouth with a lace napkin.

“They were simply divine, dear Hare,” she crooned, before standing up.

He stood up with her.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to keep practicing my croquet game…the tournament is in a few weeks and I can’t have ole’ Twinkle Toes showing me up again.”

“Of course,” he said with a small bow. He narrowed his eyes as she glided away.

“And just enjoy yourself in the kitchens today!” she hollered over her shoulder. “Surprise me!”

He sat back down and frowned. Is this what it would be like working for the Duchess?

Something just didn’t feel quite right, though.

Some part of him just didn’t trust her. She was being _too_ nice.

And since when did she have such a large appetite? She must have eaten at least eight scones in one sitting and they were quite large.

He sipped his coffee and continued brooding.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter scorched his pancakes, made too strong of coffee, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t comprehend what he was reading in the paper.

His mind was simply elsewhere.

He huffed finally, throwing the paper on the table.

“Hey!” the Dormouse squeaked, peeping out from underneath it.

“Oh, sorry, Dormouse…”

“It’s okay! Where’s the Hare?”

“He’s gone…”

“Is he coming back?”

“I don’t know.

“What?!”

“I don’t know, Dormouse. We got into a fight and he left. And I don’t know how to find him.”

“Is there someplace you could call?”

“Well, yes, I guess I could call the hotel and see if he’s there…but I don’t have his mother’s phone number…”

“I do!” the mouse squeaked.

“You do? But how?”

“The Hare gave it to me in case of an emergency…”

“Well this is definitely an emergency…”

“Here you go,” the mouse said, handing him a tiny scrap of yellow paper.

“Thank you!” the Hatter yelped before jumping up and running inside the house. His heart was pounding against his chest as he dialed the number.

“Hello…”

“Hello, this is—"

“You’ve reached the number of Marge Hare,” a female’s voice continued. “I’m on vacation right now with the Wonderland Travel Group and I won’t be back until June thirteenth! I’ll talk to you then! Arrivederci!”

The Hatter hung up the phone with knitted brows. The Hare’s mother wasn’t home? Then where was the Hare and where had he been?

He quickly looked up the number to the Holly Hodge Hotel.

“Hello, Holly Hodge Hotel!” a sing-song voice said.

“Yes, I’m looking for the March Hare, is he guest there?”

“One moment please…No, we don’t have any guests under that name.”

“Oh, well, thank you,” he muttered before hanging up the phone.

The Hare wasn’t at the hotel and he wasn’t at his mother’s…so _where_ was he?

The phone rang and his heart leapt.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this the Mad Hatter?”

“Yes!”

“This is Top Hat calling to remind you that your three preliminary hat entries are due by the end of the day.”

“Oh…okay, thank you,” he said before hanging up the phone.

In all his angst he’d completely forgotten about the hat competition.

But he wanted to find the Hare!

He ran his hands back through his messy hair and sighed.

But _clearly_ the Hare didn’t want to be found.

So he trudged up the stairs and decided to get dressed and finish his hats.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare hummed to himself as he whisked a bowl of ingredients together. The kitchen seemed more familiar today and he was excited to whip up some new things. All thoughts of the Hatter had been shoved down; though, they continued to surface every few hours...which is why he made staying _busy_ his goal.

“Oh, Hare?” a high voice came.

He looked up to see the Duchess waltzing in, her white lace gown flowing behind her.

“I wondered if you’d given anymore thought to my offer?” she asked, picking up a sugar cookie and popping it in her mouth.

“And what offer was that?”

“To be my personal baker and to live in The White Palace, of course!” she said with a slight twitch to her plastered smile.

“Oh…well, I’m not sure yet. I might need more time to think about it…”

He suddenly felt very uncomfortable, like the marble walls were closing in on him.

“More time?” she asked in a higher voice with wide, blue eyes. “Well of course!” she recovered, “More time…How about you stay another night and we’ll see how you feel tomorrow?”

“Okay…” he said hesitantly.

Part of him longed for home...he couldn’t help it. If the Hatter lived with him here maybe it would feel like home, too. Though, somehow he doubted it, it was a cold, hard place…except for his _bed_, of course.

The Duchess left again and he looked down and noticed she’d taken the plate of cookies with her.

He looked around and wondered where the other servants were. Who cleaned the castle and did her chores? Didn’t she need someone to make her real meals and not just sweets?

The oven timer chimed and his thoughts faded.

_Just focus on baking_ he kept telling himself.

That was after all, why he was there.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter had just finished mailing off his three preliminary hats for the competition when he ran into the Tweedles.

“Hello, Hatter!” Dee said.

“Why the long face?” Dum asked.

“Oh, hello, Tweedles. You haven’t happened to see the Hare anywhere have you?”

“Mmmm, no. The last time we saw him was yesterday, when we returned your walkie-talkies and gave him your mail.”

“But we didn’t get any mail yesterday…” the Hatter said, staring at them blankly.

“Sure you did! That big, white, glittery card…” Dee said excitedly.

The Hatter scrunched his face in confusion. “Well, I never saw it…it must have been for the Hare.”

“Well he seemed kind of secretive about it, so maybe it was…” Tweedle Dum said, shrugging his shoulders.

“We’re off to play ping-pong with the Caterpillar, want to join us?” Dee asked.

“Oh, no thanks…” the Hatter replied, still lost in thought. “He always cheats anyway,” he mumbled. “So many hands…”

“Okay, well, we’ll see you later then!”

The Hatter went and sat down on a rock next to the bubbling spring. He leaned over and gazed at his reflection in the aqua blue water.

Why did the Hare act strange about a piece of mail? Who was the letter from? And why had he kept if from him? He felt like the card sounded familiar, but he just couldn’t place it, his brain was too sleep deprived to form a coherent thought.

He got up and continued walking aimlessly, and before he knew it, he found himself standing in front of the Red Queen’s palace.

His heart ached as soon as his eyes landed on the roses.

Not too long ago he and the Hare were sharing their very first kiss, right amongst these same flowers.

He walked into the garden, lost in a daze, and nearly tripped over the White Rabbit.

“Oh, sorry Rabbit! Didn’t see you there!”

“Didn’t see me?” the Rabbit huffed. “Why is it that people are never _seeing_ me?” he complained.

“I was just lost in thought…” the Hatter replied, looking down and realizing the Rabbit had been trimming the rose bushes.

“Why are you here alone, anyway?” the Rabbit asked, scrunching his nose.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, only that you and the Hare are _inseparable_…I never see one of you without the other…Well of course, I did yesterday when you were out searching for him…but usually you are always together and—"

“Wait, where did you say you saw the Hare going yesterday? When I bumped into you?” the Hatter interrupted.

“I said he was headed North…and you were confused because you thought he went to the West…to the train station…”

“That’s right!” the Hatter exclaimed. “So he was headed North!”

“Hatter, I don’t know what’s gotten into you…you’re acting so peculiar…but if you’ll excuse me, I must trim these bushes before the Queen sees them. She’ll have a conniption.”

“WAIT!” the Hatter yelped, grabbing his arm. “What’s in the North?”

“Well, I don’t know…Woebears, Jabberwockies…the Farlight Forest? You know, one time, I was stung by an abnormally large—"

“WHAT ELSE?”

“Cooler weather?”

The Hatter threw his hands in the air and made a strangled noise. “You’re not helping!” he whined.

“Well, I’m trying!”

“Hey, what’s going on in here?” came the Queen’s demanding voice. “Who’s there?”

“It’s just me, your Majesty,” The White Rabbit groaned, “And the Mad Hatter…and today’s he’s acting especially _mad_,” he said scrunching his nose as the Queen came around the corner.

“What’s this all about?” she demanded, turning on the Hatter.

“I’m looking for the March Hare, your Majesty. Have you seen him?”

“Of course I haven’t! I have better things to do than keep company! I’ve got to practice croquet for the upcoming tournament,” she said gritting her teeth. “Ole’ Duchy will never get the title from me,” she said balling her hands into fists. “No matter how much she cheats!”

“THE DUCHESS!” the Hatter exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air again. “It’s her!”

“Of course the Duchess is the _Duchess_…what in the world are you going on about?” the Queen huffed with her hands on her hips.

“She lives in the North, right?!”

“Of course she does! But I don’t see what that has to do with ANYTHING!” she bellowed.

“Thank you!” he nearly screamed in her face before running off.

He knew where the Hare must be!

At the Duchess’ palace.

The White glittery card in the Hare’s breast pocket, the white glittery card the Tweedle’s said he was acting strange about…He must have been summoned to her palace.

Without a moment to spare the Hatter dashed off down the road, running as fast as his long legs could carry him, determined to find the Hare.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was starting to feel restless.

Yes, he’d enjoyed the beautiful kitchen and the endless baking supplies, but is this how it would be every day? Endless baking? He set down his whisk and walked to one of the large, floor to ceiling windows, looking down into the gardens with an aching heart.

He decided to take a walk.

He had no trouble getting out of the castle and past the guards; he simply walked right by them as they stood motionless. Yet he still couldn’t help but feel he was being watched.

He made a bee-line for the gardens and felt relieved as soon as he was amongst the roses. They were all white, unlike the Queen’s vibrant red ones, but they had a wonderfully sweet smell—if not too sweet—but they did help to calm his spirits. It wasn’t too long ago that he had pushed the Hatter into the Queen’s roses, finding himself braver than he’d ever been in his life.

He wished he could turn back time and go back to that very moment; he would have hesitated even less. Absently, he ran his finger over his lips, lost in thought.

“Oh, Hare?” a sing-song voice came.

He turned around to see the Duchess, wearing another saccharine smile.

“Hello,” he said, unable to erase the sadness from his voice. “I was just taking a break…”

Her frosty eyes glittered as she continued to hold her smile.

“How nice…”

He began to feel uncomfortable under her penetrating gaze and started to squirm. Maybe he wasn’t really allowed in her gardens.

“Well, I’ll just be heading back now…Anything special you’d like me to bake?”

“Would double fudge, chocolate brownies be too much to task?” she said in a high-pitched voice.

“Um, no…” he said frowning. "I’ll get right on it…”

“Splendid!”

He walked off, still wondering what she ate besides sweets.

Did she have another kitchen somewhere in another wing of the castle, where someone else cooked her meals?

***

\---The Hare---

The Hatter arrived at the edge of the Farlight Forest just in time to see the Hare ascend the marble steps. He tried to call out to him, but was completely devoid of air. He’d never run so fast in all his life. He took a few deep breaths and then staggered forward, clasping hold of the white bars to the palace gate.

“Hello?” he gasped.

“Oh, Hatter! How _lovely_ to see you!” the Duchess said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere. “What brings you to my palace?”

“Hare!” he panted.

“Who?”

“The March Hare!”

“Well I don’t know what would make you think he’s here…”

“I just…saw him!” he wheezed.

The Duchess continued to smile but her blues eyes turned to black marbles.

“I’m not taking visitors today,” she said in a clipped tone before abruptly turning away.

“But if I could just talk to him…if you could just tell him I’m here!” he pleaded.

The Duchess continued walking towards the palace as if she didn’t hear him.

He yanked at the white bars, but the gate wouldn’t budge. Suddenly, an ominous, towering marble knight appeared before him.

He jumped back with a surprised yelp.

“STAND BACK,” the deep voice boomed. “GO!” it said pointing a finger.

“NO! I won’t go! Not until I’ve seen the March Hare!” he yelled, beginning to run along the fence line. But it was too high and it seemed to go on for miles, completely surrounding the castle.

How could he get to him?

He looked around, frantically, taking in his surroundings.

There was a tree at the edge of the forest, it was tall and spindly, and one of the branches seemed to just dip over the castle wall. Maybe he could climb it and drop down within the palace walls. He licked his lips, struggling with what to do.

A light flicked on in one of the downstairs rooms, the windows were long and curtained, and he could just make out the figure of someone moving. He got as close to the fence as he could, pressing his face against the cold bars and squinting at the window.

It was the Hare!

He was in that room! He could see the shape of his ears. Was it a kitchen? What was he doing? His heart started beating out of his chest.

He had to get closer.

He ran to the tree and began to climb it, disregarding his fear of heights and the scratches and scrapes he got along the way. Carefully scooting out onto the branch that hung over the wall, he was able to see more clearly. It was definitely the Hare in a kitchen. He seemed to be cleaning up. And then the lights turned off and there was darkness. The Hatter yelped quietly, and clutched the tree tighter between his legs.

Where had he gone?

Suddenly, a light turned on in an upstairs room and his heart quickened. Had the Hare gone upstairs? He watched with bated breath as a window opened and the Hare looked outside. It was hard to tell, but by the slump of his shoulders, he seemed sad. The Hatter nearly called out to him but kept his mouth shut. He didn’t want anyone else knowing he was there, clearly he wasn’t welcome.

He watched as the Hare moved away from the window and another light turned on in the adjoining room. Was it a bathroom?

The wind blew and the cold air seemed to slice right through him. It was definitely colder in the North.

He wondered where the Duchess had gone and assumed her room must be on the opposite side of the castle—for safety reasons and privacy.

He swallowed hard and looked down at the ground far below him.

If only he’d thought to bring a rope, or any other kind of tool that would be useful. Maybe he should leave and come back again, he wondered.

No, there was no turning back.

He had to talk to the Hare.

Something wasn’t right.

So he took one last, shaky breath before throwing his leg over the side of the tree, and preparing to drop.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was definitely feeling uncomfortable.

It seemed like the Duchess was becoming more and more controlling as time went on. Her smiles weren’t convincing and she didn’t seem pleased to find him in the garden at all.

If he worked for her, would he even be allowed to leave the kitchen? He shook his head. How was he seriously considering staying with her? His only real reason had been that he couldn’t stay with the Hatter since the Hatter clearly didn’t want him. But now, he was almost sure he wanted to leave.

The longer he stayed, the more it felt like a prison.

He walked to the window and opened it, desperate to breathe. The cool night air hit him in the face and he shivered, suddenly remembering it was always cooler in the North, and that he much preferred the warm weather of the South.

He gazed out at the darkness, his heart aching fiercely, and he thought of the Hatter. Did he even miss him? He hoped that he did because he certainly missed the Hatter.

Tomorrow he would leave. Working for the Duchess had been a ridiculous idea. No matter what he did or where he went, if he wasn’t with the Hatter, he wouldn’t be _truly happy_.

He knew that for sure now.

No amount of gleaming kitchens or marble halls could satisfy the longing in his heart.

He turned from the window and went to the bathroom, flicking on the light. The room seemed to have lost its original luster. Who wanted all this beauty with no one else to share it with? He’d much rather be crammed in the Hatter’s tiny shower with him, then alone in this giant bathroom. He blushed fiercely at the thought, and turned on the water, letting it get hot.

There was a strange sound that made him snap his head up. He turned off the water and listened again. There it was again, the strange sound coming from his bedroom. He wrapped his bathrobe more tightly around himself and walked to the window.

What he saw stopped his heart.

The Hatter was silently dangling from the window sill with panic etched into his eyes and his mouth half open. Below him, shrubs were rapidly growing up the walls, straining to wrap themselves around his kicking feet as he struggled to climb up.

“Hatter!” the Hare exclaimed, grabbing his hands and yanking him up and over the window sill. They fell backwards onto the floor in a heap.

The Hare quickly scrambled up and slammed the window shut, just before the merciless plant was about to reach its branches inside.

“Wh-what are you doing here?!” he breathed with wide eyes.

“Hare…I…came to get you…” the Hatter rasped, crawling to his hands and knees and then standing up.

The Hare stared at him in awe, his mouth falling open.

The Hatter looked like he’d been attacked by the shrubs. There was a large cut on his cheek.

“Hatter…I…” he said moving towards him as if magnetized.

And before the Hare could say another word, the Hatter enveloped him in his arms, pressing their bodies together fiercely, and then their lips. He kissed him ravenously, desperately, sliding his hands up and down his silken robe. The Hare clung onto his waist and strained back just as hard, his heart beating uncontrollably.

All he wanted right now was the Hatter.

Nothing but the Hatter.

He grabbed the sides of his coat and yanked it off him, never separating from his lips. The Hatter groaned and slid his hands down the Hare's back, lower and lower until he was gripping his bum firmly and pulling him into him. The Hare made a hissing sound and surged towards him, kissing him more desperately and tangling his fingers into the Hatter's hair.

Somehow, they found their way to the bed and collapsed onto it, sinking into the cloud.

The Hatter scrambled to crawl on top of him until he was straddling his hips, their lips still refusing to part. The Hare clapsed onto the sides of his face, running his fingers gently across his cheekbones.

“Oh, Hatter, you’re bleeding,” he said, pulling back and looking at the red smear on his thumb. “Your face…”

“I don’t care,” the Hatter growled, brushing the Hare’s hand aside and kissing him again, sucking on his bottom lip. The Hare shivered from the sensation and ran his hands down the Hatter’s back, hesitantly cupping his firm bum and then digging his fingers in. The Hatter let out a muffled groan that made them both frantic to close the space between them.

“Hatter…we’ve got to…get out…of here,” the Hare breathed between desperate kisses.

“I…know...that’s why…I’m here,” the Hatter replied, placing hungry kisses down the side of his neck and making the Hare feel faint. “But this bed…I could get used to this,” he murmured, sliding his hands against the white satin sheets.

The Hare’s body shuddered. He felt very hot lying under the Hatter. New and thrilling sensations were coursing through every inch of his body.

“Hatter, I don’t trust her,” he suddenly said.

The Hatter ceased his kisses and peered down at him, “Neither do I…”

“Oh, Hare?” an all too familiar voice called.

They both flinched and the Hatter quickly rolled onto the floor and scrambled under the bed.

The Duchess knocked on the door and then opened it, the light from the hall filling the room.

“Hare? Are you alright?” she asked in an airy voice.

“Y-yes, just about to go to bed.”

He looked down at the white sheets and noticed the streak of blood, and quickly covered it with his hand. He prayed the Duchess hadn’t seen it, but he could have sworn he saw her eyes flick to the spot.

“Oh, well I thought I heard noises…I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“Very well. I’ll see you in the morning,” she said with glittering eyes before shutting the door.

He exhaled as soon as she was gone and fell back against the pillows.

The Hatter crawled out from under the bed and stood up. “That was close!” he said with wide eyes and wild hair.

“You’ve got to leave!” the Hare urged, sliding off the bed and into his arms.

“I’m not leaving you! She’s mad!”

“You have to! There’s no way I can get out of here! She’s suspicious and will be watching me. You’ve got to go and get help, and then come back tomorrow.”

“No, I won’t leave you.”

“If we both go I’m afraid we’ll get caught, and _you’ll_ pay the price.”

“What price?”

“I don’t know…but judging by the look in the Duchess’ eyes—it won’t be good.”

“You’re coming with me and that’s that,” the Hatter said picking the Hare up to hoist him over his shoulder, but as soon as he tried, his arms were jerked down forcefully.

They both looked down in shock to see a white, marble chain clapsed around the Hare’s ankle.

“What the—"

“I’m a prisoner…” the Hare said in shock. “I knew it.”

“This…this is insane! She can’t do this!”

“I haven’t even signed a contract or told her I would stay…” the Hare said still staring at his ankle. “I don’t understand.”

The Hatter leaned down and struggled against the chain, trying to free him.

“It’s no use…” the Hare murmured.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter wasn’t about to give up. “There has to be a way,” he panted, wiping the blood off his face and peering around the room.

“There is—you’re going to have to leave and go get help…”

“But from who?”

“The Queen, of course. She’s the only one with authority over the Duchess.”

When the realization hit him, the Hatter immediately felt a thousand pounds lighter.

“Of course!...But that still means I have to leave you…” he said wrapping his arms around him protectively.

“It’s okay…I’ll be okay…she’ll probably just make me bake her something.”

“I’ll be back as fast as I can,” the Hatter said holding him closer.

“I know you will.”

“Don’t go anywhere.”

“How can I?” the Hare asked, glancing at his ankle.

The Hatter gripped him by the shoulders, setting his jaw and staring into his eyes determinedly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” the Hare replied, his brown eyes turning glassy.

The Hatter leaned down and kissed him deeply, savoring every second as if they were his last, before he forced himself to pull away.

“I’ll come back for you,” he said, before slipping out the window and letting himself fall to the ground.

And then he ran as fast he could, already feeling the living shrubs awaken to his presence.

But he had a plan.

He jumped into a fountain and climbed to the top of the statue at its center—it was just close enough to the same tree branch he used to get inside that he could touch it. It took him several tries and lots of huffing and puffing, but eventually, he was able to grab hold of the branch and hoist himself up. He clung to it for dear life and crawled the length of it until he was back at the trunk of the tree.

He jumped down, never so happy to be on solid ground.

And then he ran as fast as the North winds would carry him.

***


	12. A Daring Rescue

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare prayed to the gods of Wonderland that the Hatter made it out of the palace grounds safely. He struggled against the chain locked around his ankle, trying to get to the window, but it was no use. He finally collapsed on the bed and exhaled.

What a mess.

How could he ever be so stupid to think he could work for the Duchess or that she would treat him well? He saw how the Red Queen treated the White Rabbit. He’d always cringed at how she ordered him around—but at least she didn't keep him chained to his bed!

“Oh, Hare!”

He froze.

“I think it’s time for a little snack!” the Duchess said as she walked into the room. “Why, Hare, what have you done?” she asked, looking down at the tangle of sheets dotted with spots of blood.

“I…I cut myself…chopping macaroons...”

“And you decided to just bleed all over my bedding? Tisk, tisk, Hare. I think it’s time we moved you someplace more appropriate.”

“Unchain me!” he barked, surprised by his own passion. “I want to leave! I never made any agreement with you!”

“Ah, but you did,” she said with a wicked smile. You accepted my invitation in the first place…and then you spent the night, enjoying my hospitality. You _chose_ to stay here…I didn’t make you. Guard!” she hollered.

One of the marble knights entered the room, stiffly walking towards them.

“Take him to the dungeons!” she bellowed.

“What? WAIT!” the Hare screeched as the knight gripped his arm in his unforgiving marble hand.

“We’re done,” the Duchess said with a smirk.

The Hare was at a complete loss for words.

How could the Duchess turn so cold?

But was she ever really _warm_ to begin with?

Not if all her gestures were just to make him a prisoner.

He struggled against the grip of the knight but it was pointless.

After walking down what seemed an endless maze of hallways sloping down into the depths of the earth, he began to tremble. The knight placed him in a dark, dank, cell enclosed with iron bars and the smell of decay.

He slid down the wall and let his head fall to his knees, praying and hoping that the Hatter would find a way to save him.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Your Majesty!” the Hatter bellowed, gasping for air and bending over, resting his hands on his knees. “Your Majesty!”

“What is all this racket?” the Queen grumbled coming out into her garden with hot rollers still in her hair.

“Oh, thank the Jabberwockies! Your Majesty! The Hare’s in trouble…the Duchess…she has him prisoner,” he wheezed, nearly passing out.

“Prisoner? The Duchess? What kind of chuckleheaded nonsense is this?”

“It’s not…nonsense…it’s _real_. The Duchess is holding the Hare prisoner.”

“And why exactly would she do that?”

“Because she wants him to be her royal baker!”

“What?”

“Yes…she sent him a proposition…a card…and he went…and now she won’t let him go.”

The Queen scrunched her face up and then shrugged, “Well I don’t see how this affects _me_…”

“But your Majesty,” the Hatter pleaded, wracking his brain for a reason she would be compelled to act on. “The Hare is _your_ subject…not the Duchess’…Are you really going to let her poach one of your own people?”

“My people?” she said narrowing her eyes. “That’s right…she’s poaching _my_ people…Well, I won’t stand for this! She won’t win this game! Harrumph! RAAAAAABBIT!” she yelled, only to turn around and find him standing right behind her.

“Y-yes, your Majesty?”

“We make for the Duchess’ at once! She’s poached one of my people!” she spat.

He wiped his face and then bowed. “I will prepare the royal car.”

“Good. Hatter, go make yourself presentable. WE RIDE AT NOON!”

“But why so late, your Majesty?” he asked wide-eyed.

“Because it will take me at least that long to finish curling my hair and get dressed."

“Yes, your Majesty, th-thank you, your Majesty.”

He decided it best to not press the issue, and instead, used what little strength he had left to run home, flooded with relief.

If anyone could get the Hare back, it would be the Red Queen.

She wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare felt like he’d just shut his eyes when a booming voice said, “GET UP.”

He looked up to see the marble knight standing outside his cell.

With shaking legs, he stood, and walked nearer.

“PUT THIS ON,” the knight barked, holding a stack of clothing.

The Hare gingerly took the clothes and opened them up to find a pair of white baker’s pants, a matching shirt, and a hat. He sighed and looked down at his soiled satin robe and shrugged it off, not thinking the knight was capable of understanding modesty. He slipped the pants and shirt on and finally the hat.

“COME,” the guard said.

He followed reluctantly, at least relieved to be out of his cell.

They eventually entered the kitchen through a secret door he didn’t even know existed.

“Hare! How delightful of you to come!” the Duchess crooned.

“It’s not like I had much choice…” he muttered.

“What was that?” she asked in an icy tone that made his hair stand on end.

“N-nothing.”

“Good. I think this morning we’ll do chocolate chip pancakes? How does that sound?”

“Fine.”

“You have thirty minutes,” she snapped before turning and leaving the room.

He looked down at his ankle to see if there was a chain, but found none.

But he wasn’t about to try and escape. He was sure there was no way out.

So he set to work making the pancakes, still praying the Hatter was working on a way to save him. Obviously, the Duchess didn’t know he’d been there, or if she did, she was certainly doing a good job of hiding it.

He whisked the ingredients together and his heart ached, thinking of all the times the Hatter had made him pancakes. He wished he could somehow poison the Duchess’ and escape, but he knew she probably had defenses against that as well.

She’d thought of everything.

Now he knew why her castle was so empty.

No person in their right mind would work for someone so mad.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter ran inside his house and up to his bedroom. Why did it matter if he looked presentable to go and get the Hare?

Though, he knew how the Queen was, and she wouldn’t hesitate to refuse his company if he looked too disheveled.

So he jumped in the shower and scrubbed himself clean, towel dried off, and then ran back to his room to get clean clothes. Thankfully, he had another clean purple suit that had just come back from the dry cleaners. He got dressed and combed the tangles out of his hair.

His stomach gave a grumble and he realized he should probably eat something.

When he went to the kitchen and saw some of the Hare’s scones in a bag on the table, he picked them up and his heart clenched. His eyes begin to water and he had to grip the back of the chair to steady himself. A sob escaped his mouth and tears slid down his cheeks.

But he needed to focus.

Gathering himself again, he took a deep breath, grabbed the scones and rushed out the door.

“Hi, Hatter! We were just coming to see you!” Tweedle Dee said.

“No time!” the Hatter said pushing past them and through the garden gate.

“Wait, where are you going?” Dum asked.

“To rescue the Hare!”

“What?!” they both yelped in unison.

“You heard me,” the Hatter snapped, slamming his hat on his head. “There’s no time to waste.”

“Can we come, too?” Dee asked.

“Sure, why not? The more the merrier…” he said with a shrug.

When they arrived at the palace the Queen was just walking down the front steps. “Where’s the car?” she barked.

“I don’t know…we just got here, your Majesty,” the Hatter replied, sucking in air.

“And what are the Tweedles doing here?”

“We’re coming, too!” they both said. 

“Oh, harrumph! Well you lot better let me do the talking!”

“We don’t even know what’s going on,” Dee said with a happy shrug.

There was the rumble of a car motor and they all turned see the White Rabbit pulling up to the palace in the banana car.

It backfired loudly and they jumped.

“WHAT IS THIS?!” the Queen bellowed.

“Erm, it’s your _ride_,” the Rabbit said getting out.

“This is NOT my royal car!” she hissed.

“No…no it isn’t’…but remember when you had me take that short cut the other day? Well apparently I rolled over a bag of the Tweedle’s nails…and they punctured the tire. Your cars in the shop, your Majesty…and this is all they had…”

“Oh, HARRUMPH! What will the Duchess think when she sees me arriving in a GIANT BANANA?!”

“Oh, they’re all the rage, your Majesty,” The Hatter blurted out. “I mean, just the other day, the King of Spades was driving around in an _apple_…”

“Really?”

“Yes!” he said emphatically, praying she wouldn’t ask for evidence that he certainly couldn’t produce.

“Well, alright then,” she said with a scowl. “Let’s get this show on the road.”

“My thoughts exactly!” the Rabbit said, straightening his vest.

She sneered at him and he scuttled back behind the steering wheel.

The Tweedles and the Hatter piled in the back, and then they were off, zooming over hill and dale to fetch the Hare.

***

\---The Hare---

“Well it’s about _time_!” the Duchess hissed as the Hare carried a silver tray stacked high with chocolate chip pancakes into the dining room.

He silently set the tray down in front of her, and then without thinking, went to sit down at the table.

“And just WHAT do you think you’re doing?” she barked.

“I-I’m sorry, Duchess…I just thought…”

“That you were still my guest?” She laughed manically, throwing her head back. “Well you thought wrong. From now on, you’re my _servant_, and shall be treated as such. No more _satin_ for you,” she said with a phony, sad face, before picking up a goblet of bubbling white liquid and gulping it down.

The Hare watched her with wide eyes.

“What? Are you curious about my little drink here?” she asked, taking a large glass pitcher and pouring more liquid into her goblet. She stabbed a pancake with her fork and shoved the entire thing into her large mouth. “Do you ever wonder how I can stay so trim with such an appetite?” she asked with a wicked grin. “I would simply _die_ before I looked like ole’ Twinkle Toes. She’s positively let herself go.”

The Hare gaped at her.

“It’s all because of my little drink…Let’s me eat whatever my heart desires,” she said taking another sip, leaving a white mustache above her lip.

“So you can bake, and bake, and _bake_, and I will _never_ be satisfied.”

He gulped.

“Now, be off with you!” she said flicking her hand. “I want an apple pie! And peanut butter cookies!” She laughed hysterically again, the sound echoing off the marble walls.

The Hare rushed back into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, trying to breathe.

This was a nightmare and the Duchess was a monster.

How did anyone not know about her true nature?

Though, how could they…what servants would speak?

He never wanted to bake again, not like this.

Not ever.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Can’t this thing go any faster?” the Hatter whined, feeling suffocated as he was wedged between the Tweedles in the cramped back seat.

“I’ve got the pedal to the medal!” the Rabbit hollered over the loud noise of the engine.

The car sputtered and backfired as they flew over a hill, blazing through the air for a few moments, before hitting the ground with a bang.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” the Hatter groaned.

“This is AWESOME!” Tweedle Dum exclaimed.

“I know! I’ve always wanted to ride in a piece of FRUIT!” Dee yelled over the Hatter.

“Well I HAVEN'T!” the Queen bellowed, holding onto her beehive hair as the car sped down the road.

The Hatter clutched his head between his knees and prayed they’d make it before he tossed his scones…or worse...something terrible happened to the Hare.

“We’re almost there!” the Rabbit hollered.

“You don’t have to yell! I’m right HERE!” the Queen hissed.

“Oh, sorry, your Majesty.”

“The Duchess needs to prune her garden, this place is positively _wild_,” the Queen remarked, looking out the window.

“Oh, that’s just the forest, your Majesty,” Tweedle Dum said.

“Farlight Forest,” Tweedle Dee added.

“Oh, well, _still_…it could use a good grooming,” the Queen mumbled, crossing her arms.

The Hatter rolled his eyes and heaved between is knees.

Finally, the castle came into view and they all held their breath as they drew closer.

“Well, I see she’s still obsessed with _white_,” the Queen said with a sniff, turning up her nose.

The banana car came to a stop, and they all piled out, one by one, and surveyed the elaborate grounds. 

The Queen promptly stomped up to the gate and put her hands on her hips. “Oh, Duchy! I know you’re in there! Come out, come out, wherever you are!” she bellowed.

The white marble knight moved in front of the gate, crossing his chiseled arms. “WHO GOES THERE?”

“I’ll tell you who goes there! THE RED QUEEN! Queen of all of Wonderland—and that includes your marble behind, too! NOW OPEN THIS BLASTED GATE!”

The statue seemed to freeze for a moment, as if thinking, before slowly moving again and opening the gate.

“It pays to be the Queen,” Dum muttered.

“It does indeed,” said Dee.

The Hatter was so relieved to be out of the banana car and on his way to saving the Hare, he could have leapt for joy, but he kept his cool instead.

They followed close behind the Queen as she stomped up the marble steps, and then pounded on the door with her meaty fist.

The doors flung open with a bang and they found themselves face to face with a very frazzled Duchess, as she hurried to wipe her mouth with a napkin. 

“Twinkle Toes! How _nice_ of you to visit! And to what do I owe this great pleasure?” she asked with a small curtsy.

“You’re poaching MY PEOPLE and I want them back!” the Queen bellowed, the sound nearly cracking the marble pillars.

“Th-there’s no need get upset, Twinkle Toes. Now, what _people_ exactly have I poached?” the Duchess asked sweetly.

“The March Hare! And I want him back!”

The Duchess looked conflicted. She clenched her jaw and balled her fists, her blue eyes glittering.

“Is that a problem, ole’ Duchy? Or should we solve this the hard way? How about…a game of CHESS?”

“NO! No…I mean, _no_ we don’t need to resort to that when things can be settled much less…_violently_,” she said, absently gripping her arm.

“Good,” the Queen replied with an overly-large, and very intimidating smile. “Now, bring me the Hare.”

“As you wish,” the Duchess said with a half-hidden grimace before gliding away.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare had heard the Queen bellowing—everyone in Wonderland probably had—and his heart had nearly leapt out of his chest. He was too scared to try and leave the kitchen, but it sounded like the Queen had come to rescue him on her own.

The Duchess burst through the doors looking completely disheveled. “You’re off the hook,” she sneered. “At least for now.”

His eyes widened and he quickly followed behind her, not able to say a word for fear he’d somehow prolong his salvation.

When he came around the corner, he was completely shocked to see not only the Queen, but the Hatter and the Tweedles standing behind her as well. The Hatter lit up as soon as they made eye contact and he looked about ready to leap towards him, but restrained himself.

As the Hare walked closer to the group, a great sadness swept over the Hatter’s eyes as he looked him up and down.

And then they were full of rage.

The Hare gulped and stared at the Queen. “Your Majesty.”

“March Hare, I order you to go get in the banana—I mean CAR!—at once! You’re _my_ subject and you’re coming back with me.”

“Y-yes, your Majesty,” he said with a small bow.

The Tweedles were looking around wide-eyed, clearly enjoying their visit to the castle, but the Hatter never took his eyes off of him.

“I’m just going to have a little word with ole’ Duchy, and I’ll be right out,” the Queen said with a large smile and glittering black eyes.

The Hare turned back to glance at the Duchess one last time.

He’d never seen her look so _white_.

The Hatter grabbed his hand, tugging him forward, and out the marble doors.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was horrified to find the Hare in such a state. Dark circles under his eyes, covered in flour from head to toe, and dirty clothes. He looked pitiful. There was nothing more that he wanted to do than whisk him away from that awful place and keep him safe.

He held the Hare’s hand in a vice grip as they walked outside the castle gates; he wasn’t about to let him go again.

The Tweedles were still staring at the grounds in awe, clearly unfazed by the fact that they’d just rescued the Hare from a very troubling situation. So the Hatter took the opportunity, and tugged the Hare towards a large tree, promptly shoving him up against it.

“Hatter!”

“I was so worried!” the Hatter said, running his hands down the sides of his arms and back up to his face.

“So was I!”

“Don’t ever leave me again!”

“I won’t!”

And then they lunged towards each other, kissing as if it were their last, savoring each and every drop.

The Hare pulled back for air, still leaning against the tree for support. “I’m sorry for this whole mess,” he said with tear-filled eyes. “It’s all my fault…I should have told you where I was going…”

“It’s _my_ fault for accusing you of something you didn’t even do…I thought you didn’t want your mother to know about us…” the Hatter said, leaning down and kissing the Hare’s lips again. He hugged him closer and trailed his mouth down the side of his neck.

The Hare shuddered and softly exhaled, “I’m not ashamed of us.”

“I know that now,” the Hatter murmured, finding his mouth again. “I’m never going to let you go…never…never,” he breathed before kissing him passionately.

“You’re starting to sound like the Duchess,” the Hare said with a low chuckle, pulling back slightly.

The Hatter laughed, “I’m not _that_ mad.”

***

\---The Hare---

They all flew home in the banana car, with the Hatter and Hare wedged between the Tweedles, holding hands and beaming.

The Hare had never felt happier or more grateful. He would never accept another invitation from the Duchess again. That was for certain.

He glanced up at the Hatter who smiled back serenely.

~~~

They were the first ones dropped off, and already inside the house before the banana car sped away.

“I can’t believe all this really happened,” the Hare breathed, leaning his back against the front door.

“Me either,” the Hatter said, walking towards him.

“I’m probably a mess,” the Hare mumbled, suddenly feeling rather nervous. There was something different in the Hatter’s eyes.

“I could help you get cleaned up.”

“Really?”

“Yes. We could take a shower.”

The Hare gulped.

“Okay.”

“Really?” the Hatter asked, lighting up.

“Yes,” the Hare replied starting to smile.

“Then what are we waiting for?” the Hatter said excitedly, scooping him up in his arms and heading for the stairs.

The Hare just laughed nervously.

~~~

The Hatter’s shower was tight for one person, much less two.

“I’m not sure if this will work,” the Hatter said twisting his mouth to the side.

“We’ll make it work,” the Hare replied emphatically. He started unbuttoning his shirt and the Hatter did the same.

And then finally, they both gulped and held their gaze as they simultaneously shoved their pants and underwear down.

The Hare’s heart was beating out of his chest. He wasn’t sure _where_ to look.

“I’ll turn the water on,” the Hatter said in a strained voice.

“Good idea,” the Hare replied, feeling as naked as he was.

Then they both awkwardly stepped inside the tub and stared at each other.

The Hare was the first one to laugh. “What are we doing?”

“I have no idea!” the Hatter said grinning largely. “But I know what I _want_ _to do_,” he whispered, grabbing the Hare by his bare shoulders and pressing him against the pink tile wall.

“I like it when you do that,” the Hare breathed.

“What? Shove you against the wall in a shower barely built for one person, much less two?”

“Righty-roo,” the Hare said straight-faced, but then he couldn’t contain his grin, and then they were both laughing, and straining for lips and limbs and everything that was within reach…which was…well, _everything_.

***

\---The Hatter---

“I think I might need to build a bigger bathroom,” the Hatter said with a serene smile as he dried his wet hair with a towel.

“What? You don’t like how _cozy_ this one is?” the Hare chuckled as he bumped against his hip.

“I like it, if you like it,” the Hatter said turning to stare at him.

“I like everything that’s _yours_,” the Hare replied, trailing his finger down the Hatter’s bare chest.

The Hatter’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly. “Everything?”

“Everything,” the Hare said, hooking his finger into the waistband of the Hatter’s purple towel and gazing up at him.

“C’mon,” the Hatter said, grabbing him by the wrist and tugging him into the bedroom.

He moved towards the bed and sat down, letting his legs spread apart slightly, and watched with pleasure as the Hare’s eyes followed the length of his bare thigh. He reached out and tugged him forward, right between his open legs. “I want your everything,” he said, firmly gripping his hips and staring up at him, feeling like his heart was pounding out of his chest.

“And I want yours,” the Hare murmured, clutching the tops of his bare shoulders.

The Hatter pulled him forward and pressed his face against his bare chest, sighing, and then he pulled back and kissed the spot above his heart, feeling the Hare shudder. “I’ll do whatever you want,” he said, staring up into the Hare’s chocolate brown eyes.

“Just kiss me,” the Hare whispered, before climbing onto his lap and straddling his hips.

“I can do that,” the Hatter said, clutching onto his bum and sliding his tongue deep into his mouth. He kissed him like it was the first time and the last time, and a lifetime in between. He kissed him when they were a tangle of bare limbs, hidden underneath sheets, and he kissed him when the Hare slid his wandering fingers between them, and touched him in a place that made him shudder. The minutes bled into hours and the hours into daylight, but still, they never tired.

There was too much space between them and they were too determined to fill it.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare had no idea when they’d finally fallen asleep, but judging by the sunlight streaming in through the window, it was the afternoon. He grunted and rolled over, overjoyed to see the Hatter sleeping soundly next to him. His lips were swollen and his hair was a tangled mess, but he looked so peaceful, his bare stomach rising and falling, rhythmically.

He gazed longingly at the strawberry-blonde hair sprinkled on the Hatter’s chest, and he couldn’t resist—he ran his hand over the downy curls and smiled wistfully.

The Hatter stirred and furrowed his brows.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to wake you…”

The Hatter’s face broke into a massive grin, though he kept his eyes shut.

“Morning,” he said in a deep, raspy voice that made the Hare feel very warm indeed.

“Morning,” he replied, snuggling up against him and finding his feet under the sheets with his toes.

The Hatter pulled him closer and kissed his forehead.

“Are you hungry?” the Hare asked.

“Mmm, I could eat…but you certainly don’t have to bake anything.”

“Don’t worry, we have leftovers.”

They both laughed and held each other tighter.

“So are you ever going to bake again? I mean, I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to…”

“No, of course I will! But it will definitely be on _my_ terms.”

“Agreed. And no more keeping secrets from me.”

“Don’t worry. I learned my lesson,” the Hare said, nuzzling against the side of his face with his nose. “Wait, when is your hat competition? Did you miss it on account of me?”

“No…It’s tomorrow, and I’d _gladly_ miss it on account of you,” he said pulling the Hare on top of him with a grunt.

They both blushed as they stared at each other.

“But it’s not tomorrow yet,” the Hatter grinned, gripping his hips.

“No, it’s not,” the Hare said, leaning down and kissing his lips.

***


	13. Heavy Competition

***

\---The Hatter---

“So do you think you’re prepared for the competition?” the Hare asked, shoving a stack of syrupy pancakes in his mouth.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” the Hatter said wistfully as he stared at him.

The Hatter had decided to make pancakes after all, even though it was the afternoon, and even though they had cold scones, he couldn’t let the Hare eat those. He would have gladly made him anything he wanted.

“So what were the preliminary hats for?”

“The judges rate those hats before meeting the competitors and that’s their base score, and then there are three rounds of competition, which are also judged by the panel, as well as the audience, and then all of that is tallied together to create the final score.

“Well I’m sure you’ll be a crowd favorite,” the Hare said with a grin.

The Hatter blushed and licked the syrup off his lips.

“I’ll vote for you as many times as I can, and I’ll make sure everyone else does, too,” the Hare said excitedly. 

“Everyone else?”

“We’re going to have a viewing party, of course! Though, I wish I could be at the studio with you…” he said frowning.

“Well, why can’t you be?”

“Well, I just figured no one else would be allowed…”

“Hare, I’d like to see them try and stop me.”

The Hare squirmed and stared at his half eaten stack of pancakes. “Isn’t it in the city?”

“Yes…is that a problem?”

“No…I just…haven’t been in a while.”

“If you don’t want to go, I completely understand…especially after all you’ve been through.”

“Of course I want to go!”

“I’ll have a hotel,” the Hatter said with a grin. “A nice one.”

“How nice?”

“Very nice.”

The Hare got quiet. “You know, when I was at the Duchess’ palace, at first I was in awe of its splendor…I’d never seen anything like it…and then suddenly, I was sad because you weren’t there to enjoy it with me. And then it lost its luster—because what good is beauty when the one you love isn’t there to share it with you?”

The Hatter felt his eyes get misty. He clutched the Hare’s hand on the table as his heart pounded against his ribs. “Hare…if you want all that…I’ll do my best to get it for you.”

The Hare’s eyes widened and he moved from his chair and slipped into the Hatter’s lap.

“Hatter, I don’t want rose gardens or marble halls…I just want…_you_,” he said holding his face and kissing him tenderly.

***

\---The Hare---

“Ready?” the Hatter hollered from the bottom of the stairs.

“Coming!” the Hare yelled back, carrying two large suitcases and a duffel bag wrapped around his midsection.

“Hare, we’ll only be gone three days!” the Hatter exclaimed, laughing at the sight of him.

“Yes, but I don’t want to run out of clothes!”

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that…”

A horn honked and they both jumped.

“Our ride is here!” the Hatter said excitedly.

They walked outside to find the banana car waiting for them.

“What? This thing again?!” the Hare hissed, sliding his reflective, silver sunglasses down his nose.

“It’s all that was available,” the Hatter said shrugging his shoulders. “Hey, I like those glasses,” he said as he turned towards him, a grin sliding up his face.

“What? These old things?” the Hare said with a smirk.

They threw their bags in the tail of the banana and hopped into the backseat. 

“To the city!” the Hatter told the driver—it was one of the beetles that had first helped the Hare move.

The car sputtered, backfired loudly, and then zoomed off at break-neck speed.

The Hare hadn’t been to the city in ages and he was nervous and excited to say the least. And on top of that, he’d be spending _three days_ with the Hatter…in a hotel. Though, most of the Hatter’s time would be spent filming for the competition.

“We should go to Gerty’s Garden Supplies! Oh and that new ice creamery we keep seeing advertised, the SugarCone! Oh, and we _have_ to go to Fanny’s Fabric & More. I bet they’ve got those new summer patterns you’ve been wanting,” the Hare said excitedly.

He glanced at the Hatter who was sitting next to him chuckling.

“What?”

“Nothing, I’m just not sure I’ve ever seen you so excited!”

“Of course you have,” the Hare said with a sly smirk.

The Hatter gaped, turned bright red, and promptly looked out the car window, biting his own fist.

“I wonder if the hotel will have a pool…of course it will…what am I saying?” the Hare said with a laugh. “We can swim and go to restaurants…It’ll be amazing,” he sighed, leaning his head against the back of the car seat.

“Indeedy-doo,” the Hatter murmured, taking hold of his hand and lacing their fingers together.

***

\---The Hatter---

The banana car dropped them off in front of a towering, pastel-hued, topsy-turvy looking hotel. The Hare nearly tripped over his own feet, so busy looking around in awe.

The Hatter worried it all might be too much for him, what with his recent experience with the Duchess. But the Hare seemed to be very happy and that was always his main goal after all—to make him happy.

They rode the golden elevator to their floor, holding hands the entire way, and smiling giddily every time they caught the other one’s eye.

“Room three-twenty-five and a half,” the Hatter said, dropping his bags and putting the giant golden key into the abnormally large lock.

The lock clicked and he pushed the door open, letting the Hare walk inside.

“Wow!” the Hare breathed.

The Hatter smiled to himself, glad that the room was already impressing him.

It was a beautiful, ornate space complete with a crystal chandelier and a giant, luscious, king-sized bed in the shape of a heart with a red velvet duvet, covered in pink satin pillows.

“Hatter, this is like a honeymoon suite or something…” the Hare said as he gaped at the giant welcome basket filled with chocolate covered strawberries, pink champagne, and enormous, heart-shaped cookies.

“Maybe it is…” the Hatter said smugly.

The Hare gaped at him.

“What?” he asked impishly. “Once I found out you were coming with me—I _may_ have requested an upgrade.”

The Hare grinned from ear to ear and jumped into the Hatter’s arms, wrapping his legs around his waist.

“For me?”

“All for you, my sweet!”

They tumbled onto the bed in a heap, kicking off their shoes and laughing.

“I love it!” the Hare gushed, “Thank you!”

“Of course,” the Hatter murmured, quickly closing the distance between them and kissing him slowly.

The Hare seemed to grow hungrier and more impatient the slower he went, digging his hands into his hair and rolling them on the bed.

He wanted to laugh. If going slow drove the Hare wild, he’d do it relentlessly. He trailed his hands down to his backside and pressed them even closer together, noticing the way the Hare gasped when he did.

“Hatter, if you keep doing that, I’ll have no choice but to—"

There was a vibrating sensation between them that made them both jump.

“Was that you?” the Hare asked wide-eyed.

The Hatter laughed as he pulled out a golden pocket watch from his jacket. “Just my watch,” he said grinning. “I set an alarm for when we need to leave…”

“Already?”

“Yes…” the Hatter said with a huff, desperately wishing they could skip the competition and just stay in bed.

“Alright, well we better pull ourselves together then,” the Hare grumbled as he reluctantly crawled off of him.

They quickly fixed their mussed up hair and rumpled clothes, and then ran out the door.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare couldn’t quit smiling. For the first time ever he could be with the Hatter in public as a couple. He held onto his hand proudly everywhere they went.

He was even allowed to go with him into all the different preparation rooms for the competition— the Hatter had been insistent. And lastly, he went with him to get his TV make-up done.

“We have one hour before you go on,” the Hare said, looking at the clock on the wall. “Your suits all ready and you’re good to go!” He’d just finished steaming it.

“What would I do without you?” the Hatter crooned.

“You’d be a wrinkled mess,” the Hare replied flatly.

“How true that is!”

They both laughed and grinned at each other.

The Hare wasn’t afraid to give his opinion to the make-up artist either—a squat little woman with a puckered mouth that reminded him of the Queen. “I think he needs more _volume_ in his hair…” and “Do you really think that’s the _best_ shade of foundation for his face?”—were just a _few_ of his many suggestions.

“I’ll help you into your suit now!” the Hare said excitedly.

“Which one did you pick?”

“The purple one, of course! We’ll save the flashier ones for the next two days. People need to associate you with _purple_…it is your signature color, after all.”

“You didn’t think _this_ was flashy?” the Hatter asked with a cocked brow as he held up an almost completely sequins covered, purple jacket.

“So I may have bedazzled it a _little_…but it’s nothing compared to tomorrows!” the Hare said with a chuckle.

“And that’s why I love you…” the Hatter crooned. “No one knows me like you do.”

“And that’s how I like it. Now let’s get you changed,” he said fussing over him like a mother hen, making sure everything was just perfect.

“We’re on in five!” one of the show attendants said.

The Hatter took a large inhale and then exhaled loudly.

“You’ll be amazing…you always are…just do what you do best—make the best dog-garn hats in Wonderland!” the Hare said squeezing his bicep with both hands.

The Hatter shot him a grateful look, and then headed out onto the stage and under the bright lights.

The crowd cheered loudly and the Hare clasped his hands together, hoping upon hope that the Hatter would show all of Wonderland just how talented he really was.

“We’re starting the clock now. Our six contestants have exactly two hours to make a hat inspired by _flowers_,” the announcer’s booming voice said. "Ready, set...MAKE!"

The Hare watched the Hatter move to his work station and wipe his sweaty palms on his pants.

The pressure was too much and he wasn’t even the one competing. He sat on a stool and watched him work in awe. He had no idea the Hatter could work that fast or with such precision. Every movement was almost elegant and extravagant at the same time.

The Hatter was a true showman, and the Hare couldn’t contain his proud grin as he watched him.

“Ten minutes left!” the announcer boomed.

The Hare nearly fell off his stool; he’d been concentrating so hard on watching the Hatter sew, he’d forgotten to look at the clock.

“TIMES UP! Please put your hats down and stand back from your table.”

The crowd cheered as the judges walked out onto the stage and waved, and one by one, they surveyed each contestant’s hat while scribbling notes down on their clipboards.

“And now, a word from each contestant explaining their design…” the announcer droned and the Hare couldn’t help but think he sounded like the Caterpillar.

“And now, the Mad Hatter…”

The Hatter flashed a winning smile to the camera and held up his hat.

The crowd went wild.

The Hare grinned from ear to ear as he watched him; his purple coat was shimmering in the light. He looked magnificent.

“This hat was inspired by a special moment I shared with my partner…red roses will always be a symbol of our love.”

The crowd “awed” loudly and the Hare felt faint.

The Hatter’s design was of a single red rose, unfolding its velvet petals as sparkling drops of due slid down the curled edges. It was breathtaking, and the Hare suddenly had the urge to smell it.

He couldn’t believe the Hatter’s design was inspired by their first kiss in the Queen’s rose garden. And then he laughed to himself, thinking the Queen was probably positive he was talking about _her_ somehow; she would most definitely want that hat.

“Thank you, Mad Hatter, and now…Muffy Mulberry will share her designs…”

The Hatter turned towards the Hare and grinned, raising his brows several times.

The Hare was so happy that he didn’t care whether the Hatter made it to the next round of competition or not.

“And now, our top three contestants moving on to the second round are…Timmy Tator, Muffy Mulberry…and the Mad Hatter!”

The Hare jumped up and down, cheering excitedly, and the Hatter nearly ran off the stage towards him and swept him up in his arms.

“You did it! You did it!”

“All because of you!” the Hatter said before kissing his lips. “You’re my true inspiration!”

“You did amazing!” the Hare beamed. “Now let’s go eat!”

“Yes! I’m starving! But I’ve got to get this make-up off first and get out of these clothes…”

The Hare happily helped him get changed, beaming the entire time, and he proudly held his hand as they headed back down to the lobby.

“Hare, what do you say we go back to the hotel and get room service? I’m beat…”

“That sounds wonderful!” the Hare said squeezing his hand. “We can go out on the town after you win.”

“You believe in me more than anyone else ever has,” the Hatter said tiredly, shaking his head as they climbed into the car.

“And it’s a shame because there’s no one more _worthy_ of belief…”

The Hatter was silent for a moment. “You think too highly of me.”

“You rescued me from a terrible situation! You’ve always been there for me, supported me, cheered me on…”

“I haven’t _always_ been there for you like I should have…”

“Well, you’ve never stopped _loving_ me, and that’s gotta count for something, right?” he poked the Hatter in the side and made him laugh.

“How true that is,” the Hatter mumbled.

“What was that? I didn’t quite hear you…”

“How TRUE that is!” the Hatter barked, his face turning red.

The Hare held his hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of it, “Just you wait,” he said with fire in his eyes.

The Hatter watched him in stunned silence.

***

\---The Hatter---

“This champagne is _divine_!” the Hare said, nearly spilling the pink liquid onto the bed.

“Hare, have you eaten anything? You need to eat something. That stuff will go straight to your head.”

“Too late,” the Hare said with a hiccup. “This stuff is better than tea…we should serve this instead. The Dormouse would simply _adore_ it…”

The Hatter sat on the bed and pulled his shoes off, laughing silently as he watched him.

“These strawberries are _divine_…” the Hare mumbled as he shoved another one in his mouth.

“I wouldn’t know,” the Hatter said, reclining back on the bed, propping himself up with his hands.

“Well you _should_,” the Hare crooned, sauntering over to him and popping a large, chocolate covered strawberry in his own mouth. “Try it,” he said, mumbling around the fruit.

“You want me to eat it from your mouth?”

“Mmmhmm.”

The Hatter turned red and smirked. “Alright, if you insist.”

The Hare leaned down towards him, clutching his thighs for support as he stood between them.

The Hatter moved towards him and opened his mouth around the berry, biting down, immediately feeling the sweet juice drip down his chin. He savored the delicious mixture of fruit and chocolate before swallowing, and opened his eyes to find the Hare staring at him with a peculiar expression.

“Where’s the rest of it?” he asked.

“I ate it.”

“You ate the stem?”

“Yeah…I like…stems…” the Hare said narrowing his eyes to the Hatter’s mouth and frowning. “I like…sweet things…too,” he whispered, leaning down and kissing his lips, licking up the sweet spots of juice. “I just…like _you_…” he sighed, before pushing him back onto the bed and crawling up his body, finding his mouth again.

“I’m glad…because I like…you too…” the Hatter said between sugary kisses.

***

\---The Hare---

“Where to first?” the Hatter asked as they piled into the taxi the next day.

“Gerty’s Garden Supplies! I’m dying to see their new summer line!”

When they got to the store the Hare was completely overwhelmed by all the choices. Aisles of planters and gardening tools towered to the ceiling, while rows of seeds, fertilizer, and potted plants, covered the floors. 

“I think this must be heaven…” he remarked, turning in a circle with his mouth open.

“Or at least _heaven’s garden_,” the Hatter said, elbowing him in the ribs. “I’d like to think there’s still tea in heaven.”

The Hare smiled and grabbed his hand. “After this we’ll go to that tea shop next door!”

“Sounds like a plan,” the Hatter said smiling.

“Oh, look at this fountain! And this bird bath! Oh, and shouldn’t we have a trellis for the vines to climb?”

“We can have whatever you like, it’s your garden.”

“_Our_ garden,” the Hare corrected him, pursing his lips.

“Our garden,” the Hatter said with a grin.

“Just pick out whatever you like and we can have it shipped to the house. I don’t think a bird bath would fit in the banana car…even if it did shrink down.”

~~~

By the time the Hare was done shopping, he had several baskets full of seeds, pots, bird feeders, gardening tools, gloves and wooden markers. They’d both decided on a trellis, as well as a small concrete fountain with a fish statue that sprayed water, and a bird bath that had a squirrel running up its side.

After arranging to have it all delivered to their house, they headed next door to look in the tea shop.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Now _this_ is heaven…” the Hatter said turning around in circles, a look of awe on his face.

“Heaven’s tearoom,” the Hare said squeezing his hand.

The ceiling of the shop was covered in sparkling, iridescent crystal chandeliers, and the walls were lined with glass cases holding the finest china and tea sets the Hatter had every laid his eyes on.

“I’d hate to break any of these,” he murmured, carefully picking up a fragile cup covered in ornate pink and gold swirls.

“Indeed…These are beautiful,” the Hare breathed, running his finger over a lilac teapot decorated with tiny, teal roses.

The shop not only sold decor for tea parties, but also an extensive variety of tea as well as desserts.

“Marshmallow tea!” the Hatter said picking up a small tin box and examining it. “Oh, and gum-drop tea! I’ve been looking for that…”

“We have to get those,” the Hare said brushing against his side. “The Dormouse would flip.”

The Hatter chuckled and grabbed several of the boxes. “I don’t know how I could ever pick…”

“Get one of each flavor!”

“I think I will!” the Hatter said gleefully, and skipped over to look at tea trays while the Hare browsed the tea cups.

~~~

“I think it was a success!” the Hatter said, as they exited the shop an hour later, with several striped pink bags hanging on his arms. He was thrilled to try out all the new tea flavors.

Next, they went to Fanny’s Fabric & More, where the Hatter was delightfully overwhelmed by all the fabric choices and sewing supplies. He had so many ideas for new hats that his head was exploding.

“Can you use any of this for the competition?” the Hare asked, holding up a shimmering, aquamarine bolt of fabric.

“No, unfortunately I can only use what they supply me with…it gives everyone a level playing field.”

“Do you have any clue what the next challenge will be?"

“Nope. It’s a secret until they announce it tonight.”

“Well, that rose hat you did was just exquisite. I’m excited to see you top it…” the Hare said examining a glass jar of enormous yellow buttons.

“As long as I have you for inspiration—I can’t be beat,” the Hatter said with a smirk, moving next to him.

“And you always will,” the Hare said, standing on his tiptoes and pecking a kiss to his cheek.

***

\---The Hare---

“This is the best ice cream I’ve ever had,” the Hare said as he licked the top off a large, rainbow-colored ice-cream cone.

“How true that is!” the Hatter replied as he slurped on his pink and blue swirly tower of ice-cream.

“SugarCone needs a new location…in our _house_,” the Hare said with a chuckle.

“We’d always be spoiling our dinner…”

“Don’t we always?”

The Hatter laughed, smearing ice-cream on his mouth, and was just about to dab it with a napkin, when the Hare stopped him.

“I got this,” he said, leaning towards him and kissing his lips, tasting the Hatter’s bubblegum and strawberry flavored ice-cream.

“Oh, that’s good…” he said pulling back with a grin.

The Hatter blushed and licked his lips.

“Want to try mine?” the Hare asked.

“Sure.”

“The Hare took a bite off the top of his ice cream cone and smiled, then leaned towards the Hatter and kissed him again, feeling his surprise when he shoved his ice-cream covered tongue into his mouth.

“Mmm bir’day cake…” the Hatter murmured against his lips.

***

\---The Hatter---

It was time for the second round of competition and the Hare was biting his nails nervously, perched on a stool and watching the Hatter get his hair fixed. “A little more volume,” he said.

The Hatter couldn’t help but grin. He loved it when the Hare fussed over him.

It was finally time for the show to begin and his stomach was doing flip-flops.

The theme for the second round was “seasons” and the Hatter already knew exactly what he wanted to do. He focused intently on his design, much more aware of the Hare’s eyes on him than the entire audience; he was determined to impress him with his idea.

“Time's up!” the announcer finally said, and the Hatter nearly jumped out of his skin. It felt like only minutes had passed.

Each of the contestants showed their designs and then it was his turn.

“And now, the Mad Hatter…”

He proudly held up his creation and the crowd roared with applause and whistles.

It was a fountain-shaped hat with an orange carrot on top, spraying iridescent crystals out of its green stem.

“I chose Spring for my season and the carrot symbolizes gardening, my love’s favorite pastime!” he said shooting the Hare a wink.

***

\---The Hare---

“I’m not surprised you made it to the final round at all!” the Hare gushed, holding the Hatter’s hand as they were driven back to the hotel. “Your designs are always the most original and the most eye-catching…You’re going to have so much business from this!”

“We should plan a vacation then to celebrate!”

“Where would we go?”

“I bet your mother would know a good place,” the Hatter said grinning.

“True…like the beach! It’s been ages since I’ve been…”

“Then we should go…I wouldn’t mind seeing you in a _bathing suit_,” the Hatter whispered by his ear, making the Hare squirm in his seat.

They had room service delivered to their hotel room again and ate shoulder to shoulder as they watched Wonderland’s Next Top Baker.

“You should go on this show…” the Hatter said, popping an egg roll in his mouth.

“Right…”

“No, I’m _serious_. I think you could win it…”

“I’m still a little baked out…but maybe someday,” the Hare said sipping his champagne. “I certainly don’t want any more invitations like the Duchess’…”

“Nor do I,” the Hatter replied emphatically.

The Hare smiled and rested his head on his shoulder.

***

\---The Hare---

“For our final round of competition, each contestant will make a hat based on their greatest design inspiration! You have two hours…”

“Ready, set…MAKE!”

The Hare was already gnawing on his fingernails, nervously perched on his stool backstage, as he watched the Hatter take a deep breath, and then start rummaging through the supplies on his work table. He seemed focused and determined, knowing exactly what he wanted to make.

The Hare didn’t care whether he won or lost, but for the Hatter’s sake, he really wanted him to win. It would be the perfect ending to the perfect few days they’d shared.

The minutes ticked by much too fast, and soon, the announcer was saying, “Times up!” as the contestants rushed to put the finishing touches on their creations.

The Hare squirmed, trying to get a good look at what the Hatter had made, but he couldn’t tell. He would have to wait for his turn, when the camera showed him on the big screen.

One contestant made a hat that looked like the ocean, with gauzy, blue waves and bits of lacy sea-foam covered in crystals. Another, a giant potato, covered in purple sequins and twigs, and then finally, it was the Hatter’s turn.

The Hare gulped.

The Hatter held up his creation and cleared his throat. “My hat was inspired by the person that has _always_ been my greatest inspiration…my cheerleader, my companion, my partner in crime…_the love of my life_…”

“The March Hare,” he said, holding up a hat in the shape of a golden ring surrounded by a bed of red roses.

The Hare’s jaw hit the floor.

And then the Hatter was walking towards him, pulling him onto the stage, and kneeling down.

“Love of my life, scone to my crumpet, tea to my cup—_will you marry me_?”

The Hare’s heart stopped.

Was the Hatter really kneeling before him, center stage, declaring his love in front of the entire world?

And then the Hatter pulled a pink velvet box from his trouser pocket and opened it, revealing a gleaming, golden ring.

The Hare’s eyes widened in shock. “Y-yes,” he finally stuttered. “YES!”

The Hatter slipped the ring on his finger and swept him up in his arms, laughing and crying, and swinging him around the stage as the crowd went wild.

“YES!” the Hare said again before grabbing his face and kissing him hard.

“Well, there you have it, folks! It’s a first! A proposal on Top Hat!” the announcer said. “Judges, have you reached your decision?”

The room fell silent for a moment, and the Hatter and Hare froze.

“Yes, we have our winner! This contestant has created the most original, dazzling, and heartfelt hats this show has ever seen!”

“The winner is…THE MAD HATTER!”

Confetti exploded into the air and the crowd went wild again as the Hatter picked up the Hare, twirling him around the stage, dancing and laughing under a shower of pastel paper bits and metallic curly ribbons.

The Hare’s heart swelled to capacity.

He had never been happier in all his life.

***

\---The Hare---

“You had all this planned?” he asked later backstage, still in disbelief.

“Yep.”

“Even if they asked you to make a hat based on your favorite _food_?”

“Yep.”

The Hare shook his head, in awe, and then gazed wistfully down at the gold ring on his finger.

“But really, the only way I would have truly _lost_, is if you would have said ‘no’.”

“Did you really think that was a possibility?”

“I really didn’t know. It was the scariest thing I’ve ever done…” the Hatter said, thoughtfully, shrugging off his purple and red sequins jacket, and moving closer to him. “You like the ring?”

“I love it,” the Hare murmured, gazing up at him. “But you need one, too.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” he said with a smirk. “But I want _you_ to pick it out.”

The Hare grinned and tugged on his vest, pulling him closer. “And what about the wedding?”

“We can do whatever you want…the sky's the limit,” the Hatter said, narrowing his eyes to his mouth and leaning down, “and you don’t have to bake a single…thing,” he crooned, before kissing his lips.

***


	14. Wedding Fever

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was so giddy he could barely taste his food. He and the Hare were having their celebration supper on the rooftop terrace of a fancy restaurant, overlooking the city with its glowing lights and noisy bustle of people.

He smirked as he watched the Hare staring at his ring and smiling.

“So where do you want to have the ceremony?”

The Hare looked up at him and grinned. “Well, I was thinking maybe…_our house_…if that’s alright with you?”

“I’ll have it wherever you want…Except for maybe the Duchess’ palace,” he said with a sly grin.

“No worries there! I want something small…something personal with just our closest friends.”

“I agree. It’s a good thing we ordered all those garden supplies—because we’re going to need them to transform the backyard!”

“What if we got married under the trellis? And everything was covered in twinkle lights…and we danced under the stars…” the Hare sighed, gazing off into the distance.

“And the Tweedles could provide the music…and we’ll order all the food…And you know, I think the Walrus is certified to officiate…”

“Yes, I think he is, too!”

“Alice could be the flower girl…the Cheshire Cat could be the ring bearer…”

The Hare cocked a brow, “You'd really trust the _Cat_ with our rings?”

“Maybe the Dormouse would be a safer bet…though, he does love to _hoard_ things…” he muttered under his breath.

“And of course my mother will have to come!”

“Absolutely!”

“I only wish your parents could be there,” the Hare said sadly.

“I know…me, too. I’d love for them to meet you. But they’ll be there...in spirit,” the Hatter said with a small smile.

“Oh, and what about the honeymoon?” the Hare asked excitedly.

“I was thinking the beach…”

“Yes, I like that…I’m sure my mother would know a good place!”

“Ask her, and we’ll get right on it,” the Hatter said, dabbing the corner of his mouth with his napkin. “But now, I think it’s time for dessert.”

“Oh, did you already order for us?”

“No, we’re not having it _here_…” he replied, his eyes turning dark.

The Hare gulped. “Oh.”

“This trip deserves to end on a bang, and that’s exactly what we’re gonna do,” he said standing up gracefully, and holding out his gloved hand to the Hare.

“Ready, my love?”

“Ready,” the Hare breathed, staring up at him with wide eyes.

***

\---The Hatter---

By the time they left their hotel the next day, the sun was already high in the sky, and every time they caught one another’s eye, they couldn’t quit grinning like a couple of lovesick fools—which in fact, they were.

“Let me get that for you,” the Hatter said, grabbing the Hare’s suitcase and loading it into the back of the banana car.

“Thank you,” the Hare grinned.

The Hatter blushed and helped him into the car, scooting in close beside him.

“Back to Wonderland!” he told the driver.

The Hare laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand. “I can’t wait to get back and start planning this wedding,” he whispered.

The Hatter squirmed and bit his lip.

There were a lot of things he couldn’t wait to get back home and do.

~~~

Everyone in Wonderland was beyond thrilled and excited over the up-coming nuptials of the Hatter and Hare. They had all been glued to their TVs when the Hatter had proposed.

The White Rabbit was still finding bits of popcorn left in his fur from when the Queen had excitedly dumped an entire bowl of it over his head. She was sure all the hats the Hatter made were really in honor of _her_—even the engagement ring, because it was after all, on a _bed of red roses_. She insisted on paying for the catering for the big event, and even lending out the White Rabbit if they needed his help. She saw the upcoming wedding as an opportunity to show all of Wonderland just how _charitable_ and _beloved_ she really was. Though, the Hatter and Hare suspected it had much more to do with her desire to _control_. But they weren’t going to refuse free food or help.

The Tweedles were elated to be in charge of the music, promising it would go much smoother than the Queen’s fashion show had, and Alice was delighted to be the flower girl. The Dormouse swore he wouldn’t lose the rings, (_or hide them_) and the Walrus was free to officiate, though, he insisted his invisible friend, Penniped, stand next to him during the ceremony.

Everything was moving right along splendidly.

~~~

***

\---The Hare---

“So I think for our pre-wedding festivities we should go golfing,” the Hare said, busily flipping through a wedding catalogue as he and the Hatter were sat at the tea table one morning.

The Hatter was preoccupied opening a box of twinkle lights. 

“Golfing?”

“Yes! You know it’s my favorite!”

“Do you think the Queen will really want to do that?”

“Who says she’s invited?”

“Who says she can be stopped?” the Hatter asked smirking, pulling the lights out of the box and trying to untangle them.

“How true that is,” the Hare chuckled. “Well, I think it will be fun…I know the Tweedles would like it…I’m not sure about Alice, though...Oh, and we need to finalize the plans for the rehearsal dinner."

“Is the Queen catering that, too?”

“Yes, thankfully! As long as I let her make a speech…”

“Oh, brother,” the Hatter sighed.

“And what about the honeymoon? Did you get those train tickets?”

“Sure did! We’ll be on our way to paradise the morning after our wedding…After we’ve eaten our cake, laughed with our friends, danced under the stars...and…” the Hatter trailed off.

The Hare gazed off wistfully, imagining frolicking on white sandy beaches and playing in aqua blue water with the Hatter. And then he remembered they needed to take copious amounts of sunscreen—the Hatter was as white as a ghost and would surely burn to a crisp.

“I’m so glad your mother was able to recommend that island…I think the Ocean Breeze Inn and Spa will be just perfect for us!”

“Just perfect…” the Hare repeated, still in a daze, imagining the Hatter all oiled up and lounging in a beach chair.

“Hare?”

“Hmm?”

“Just checking,” the Hatter said with a smirk.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter was so excited he could barely stand it.

He’d spent the morning putting the final touches on the back garden.

A giant delivery truck had already come and brought all the things they’d picked out in the city— the trellis, the squirrely bird bath, the fish fountain…as well as the Hare’s gardening tools and supplies.

The Hare was spending the morning with the Tweedles, finalizing their reception music, and was due back for tea at any moment.

The Hatter heard singing and looked up to see the Hare entering the garden gate.

“Hare! You’re back!” he said rushing towards him.

“Did you miss me?” the Hare asked batting his eyelashes.

“Of course I did!” the Hatter said grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing his mouth.

When he pulled away, the Hare’s eyes were still closed and he looked drunk.

“C’mon, I have a surprise for you,” he said pulling his hand.

“A surprise?” the Hare asked dreamily.

“Alright, now keep your eyes closed…just a bit further….” The Hatter said, tugging him along and around to the back garden, his heart beating out of his chest.

“Okay, now open them!”

The Hare fluttered his eyes open and his jaw dropped.

“Hatter!” he exclaimed, looking around with a shocked expression.

“Do you like it?”

“Do I like it? I LOVE IT!” he said throwing his arms around the Hatter’s neck and hugging him.

The Hatter laughed and picked him up, swinging him around.

“Really?”

“Yes, really! It’s magnificent!” the Hare said inches from his face.

“I’m so glad!” the Hatter said before pecking his lips; and then he set him back down and proceeded to show him all the new additions.

“Now, we can move the trellis to a different spot, if you like…it’s not a problem,” he said, motioning to the giant, white lattice trellis covered in thick vines and fuchsia roses. “The twinkle lights are already intertwined, but you can only see them when it’s dark…”

“I think it’s _perfect_,” the Hare said quietly, wistfully running his fingertip over a rose. “It’s more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.”

The Hatter grinned and tugged him towards the fountain. Crystal clear water was pouring out of the fish statue at the top, splashing down into a white, shell-shaped pool below.

“And you like this?”

“I love it!”

“And the bird bath?”

“I love it, too! Hatter, I love everything you’ve done…It’s more than I ever could have dreamed of."

“Well, this isn’t all,” he grinned, tugging him forward.

“This,” he said motioning with his hand, "is my wedding gift to you…"

The Hare gaped at the tiny little cottage. It was painted blue and white and sat at the very back of the garden amidst a copse of trees.

“Wh—" the Hare started to say.

“It’s your gardening shed!” the Hatter said excitedly.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was rendered completely speechless.

He’d never received such a wonderful gift in all his life…that is, except for the Hatter himself.

“Do you like it?”

“Hatter, I have no words,” he said, walking closer and taking in all the details: the wooden heart cut-outs on the windows, the sign above the door that said, “Hare’s Gardening Shed”, the little path that led up to the cottage covered in wood chips and lined with round lanterns.

“Well, look inside,” the Hatter urged, opening the door.

The Hare stuck his head in and gaped. There was a long wooden table with shiny new gardening tools all lined up in a row. There was a wooden box full of drawers that said “Hare’s seeds”, a basket full of new gloves and aprons, and even two pairs of galoshes—one purple and one blue.

“Hatter…this is…the most _wonderful_ thing anyone has ever done for me,” he said, getting choked up and feeling a tear slide down his cheek.

The Hatter grabbed him in his arms and hugged him tight. “I’m so relieved,” he breathed.

“Thank you,” the Hare said, leaning back to look in his eyes. “_Thank you_.”

The Hatter stared back intensely, and then clasped his face between his gloved palms and kissed him hard, stealing his breath away until he clung onto his biceps for support.

When the Hatter pulled back, the Hare felt completely dizzy, his heart sputtering out of control.

“You deserve all of this…and so much more,” the Hatter murmured.

The Hare felt like his heart had turned to jelly and was now sliding down his chest. He swallowed hard and then stood on his tip-toes, kissing him again.

“Hatter! Hare! Where _are_ you?” came the White Rabbit’s voice.

They broke apart and smiled at each other, laughing at the interruption.

“Coming, Rabbit,” the Hatter yelled. “We’ll continue this tour later,” he said with a smirk.

The Hare grinned and clutched his hand as they walked back outside.

***

\---The Hatter---

The White Rabbit had come to finalize the details for their rehearsal dinner and reception menu—the Queen was very anxious to play her part in the big day.

“I think I might want to bake the wedding cake!” the Hare blurted out, amidst the Rabbit’s ramblings.

They all paused and looked at him.

“Hare, are you sure you’re up to it?” the Hatter asked with concern.

“Yes, I think I’d like to…It would mean more…and besides, I’m not sure anyone else could do as good of a job,” he said blushing.

The Hatter grinned proudly. “Okay, but are you sure it won’t be too stressful?”

“I’ll manage ,” he said grinning back.

“Alright," the White Rabbit sniffed, "well then that just leaves the rest of the desserts and refreshments for the reception, and we’ll get them catered by Just Add Sugar—they already owe the Queen a favor for botching up her ‘Me Day’ cake.”

“Have you secured the limo for our departure to the train station?” the Hatter asked.

“Yes! It will arrive at nine o’clock on the morning after.”

“And our tuxedos?”

“They'll be ready in two days.”

“Good! Thank you, Rabbit!” the Hatter said whacking him on the back.

“You’re welcome!” the Rabbit replied, twitching his nose. “Now, we have exactly _five_ days until the ceremony, so I suggest you tie up all your loose ends—and Hare, I suggest you get to baking!”

“Yes, indeed,” the Hare said rubbing his hands together excitedly. “I’m gonna knock your socks off,” he said grinning up at the Hatter.

“Whether they’re on or off, I’ll still love you,” the Hatter crooned, beaming down at him.

The White Rabbit grimaced slightly and bared his teeth, “Yes, well, I’ll just be on my way then…too-da-loo!”

But the Hatter and Hare couldn’t take their eyes off each other.

“Wanna finish showing me the garden?” the Hare asked.

“You bet I do!” the Hatter said grabbing his hand.

***

\---The Hare---

The day of their golf outing had arrived and the Hare was standing on top of the tea table, practicing his swing. He was focused on hitting a crumpet when the Hatter came out of the house, carrying a bag of golden clubs over his shoulders.

The Hare glanced at him briefly, then looked back again, his eyes widening.

He’d never seen the Hatter in golfing attire before and his heart started beating erratically.

The Hatter pulled out a club, frowned at it, then proceeded to bend over and pretend to swing.

The Hare gulped.

“Here, let me show you,” he said scrambling off the table and over to him. He quickly moved behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, grabbing hold of his hands.

“Like this,” he said, suddenly feeling faint.

The Hatter exhaled, pulling his arms back, and then followed through with a swing.

“Like that,” the Hare murmured.

The Hatter turned in his arms and stared down at him. “Thanks,” he rasped.

The Hare blushed, biting his bottom lip. “I like your hat."

“What? This old thing?”

“It suits you…”

The Hatter flushed. “It matches my socks,” he said pulling up his pant leg, revealing purple and red argyle print socks.

“You’ll be the best dressed one on the green,” the Hare said, playfully batting the fluffy purple ball atop the Hatter’s hat.

“Well, I don’t know about that,” the Hatter replied shyly, looking away.

A horn honked and they both looked up to see the Tweedles, flying towards them on separate golf carts.

“Come on you two!” Dee yelled.

They grinned and picked up their golf bags, trotting over to the carts and setting them inside.

“Where’s the Queen?” the Hare asked.

Tires squealed and they all turned to look back and see the White Rabbit zooming towards them in a cart with the Queen sitting next to him and Alice hanging on to the back for dear life.

“OH, HARRUMPH!” the Queen bellowed, her towering hair askew, as the White Rabbit brought the cart to a screeching halt. “I thought you said you could _drive_ one of these things?” she hissed.

“Yes, your Majesty. Sorry. I guess I am a bit of a _speed demon_,” he said with a chuckle, twitching his nose.

But the Queen wasn’t laughing. She pursed her lips under her red, bedazzled cat-eye sunglasses and turned to stare at him.

He gulped and looked straight ahead.

The Hatter hopped into the cart with Tweedle Dee, and the Hare got into the cart with Tweedle Dum, and then they were off—in a very unlikely caravan—headed for the golf course.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Now, your Majesty, this isn’t like croquet…you don’t get unlimited shots—" the White Rabbit had started to say, but then quickly shut his mouth.

The Queen was glaring at him as she attempted, for the _third time_, to whack the red ball off the white tee.

“I know what I’m doing!” she barked.

The Hatter and Hare shot each other exasperated glances, both wishing they could have somehow kept their golf outing a secret affair.

Tweedle Dee was polishing his club, and Alice was helping Dum look for his glove.

There was a cracking sound and they all looked up to see the Queen’s ball flying high through the air, except instead of heading for the fairway, it was headed for the woods.

“Good job, your Majesty! Brilliant swing and follow through!” the Rabbit gushed.

She pursed her lips and handed her club to him, angrily getting back into her gold cart.

The Hare stepped up to hit his ball, and the Hatter couldn’t help but grin as he watched him. The Hare was such a pro, and looked so tempting in his fitted, blue golf pants, yellow sweater and argyle hat.

The Hare dusted off the powder blue ball in his hand, wiping it carefully on his yellow glove, and then placed it precisely on top of his tee. Then he hiked up his pants slightly, bent over, and positioned himself over the ball.

In the blink of an eye, he’d whipped back with a massive swing, and hit the ball with a delicious crack.

Everyone cheered as they watched it fly high and straight, right down the fairway, landing with a small bounce.

The Hare spun around beaming, but then controlled himself after glancing at the Queen, who was sat in her cart scowling.

He walked over to the Hatter.

“Brilliant,” the Hatter whispered to him. “You’re so amazing.”

The Hare flushed and bit his lip. “Your turn,” he said.

The Hatter gulped and his stomach twisted. He prayed he wouldn’t send his ball into the woods like the Queen had, or that he wouldn’t make a fool of himself by not making contact with the ball at all.

He took out his purple ball and placed it on the tee, hiking his pants up and taking two steps to the side of it. He looked down the fairway, and then back to the ball, taking a deep breath, and then he swung. There was a crack and he watched as the ball flew up and out—not nearly as far as the Hare’s—but not too terrible either, closely missing a sand trap, and finally coming to halt.

He breathed a huge sigh of relief, picked up his tee, and walked back to the Hare, amidst the excited cheers of the Tweedles.

“Amazing!” the Hare said with a smug grin.

The Tweedles played next and both managed to get their balls in the sands traps, but they didn’t seem to mind too much as they were more excited about blasting music from their golf carts.

“Let’s go!” they both yelled.

Everyone got in their respective carts and proceeded to fly down the hill and towards their balls.

The Queen was bringing up the rear, with Alice clinging onto the back of her cart as the Rabbit put the pedal to the medal. “Go that way!” the Queen barked, pointing towards the woods.

“I must stay on the road, your Majesty!” the Rabbit yelled back.

It was hard to hear anything what with the hum of the motors and the pumping bass coming from the Tweedle’s carts.

“I said—GO THAT WAY!” the Queen yelled, grabbing hold of the steering wheel and swerving the cart to the right, and onto the fairway and towards the woods.

Alice screamed and jumped off the back, rolling in the grass several times before standing up.

Everyone stopped and gaped as the Queen’s cart hurtled towards a sand pit. There was the sound of squealing tires as the Rabbit desperately tried to slam on the breaks—but it was too late. The Queen’s hysterical shrieks filled the air as the golf cart came to a screeching halt and catapulted them both right through the roof.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!” they both screamed, grasping at nothing with arms and legs flailing, before landing unceremoniously, face-first in the sand pit. 

Everyone gasped and ran towards them.

“RAAAAABBBIIITTT!” the Queen bellowed, spitting sand out of her mouth.

The Rabbit groaned and moved to get up. He finally stood, though wobbly, and shook the sand from his ears, then tried to help the Queen.

Her bedazzled sunglasses had snapped in half and her beehive hair was completely askew and full of sand.

“Your, Majesty! Are you alright?” the Hatter asked, coming to help her out of the pit.

“That _chucklehead_…it’s all his fault,” she gasped, pointing at the Rabbit, her eyes wild.

“B-but, your Majesty, you g-grabbed the wheel,” he stuttered, straightening his vest.

“BUT YOU DROVE US INTO THE SAND PIT!” she bellowed.

“I think you should get back to the palace and get cleaned up,” Alice suggested, scrunching her nose.

“Oh, harrumph! I will not! Nothing’s going to stop me from finishing this game!”

The Hatter and Hare shot each other surprised glances and then shrugged.

“Alright, your Majesty…If you’re sure,” the Hatter said, dusting some sand off her shoulder.

“But my cart's ruined now! So I’ll take one of yours and you can walk,” she said with a sniff.

She walked over and sat down in the Hare’s cart, smoothing down her torn red golfing pants.

“Let’s walk together,” the Hatter said, smiling at the Hare. “I have a feeling we’ll have a much better time.

“I agree,” the Hare replied with a grin.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare won the game and the Hatter came in second, with Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee following, respectively. The Queen lost eighty-two balls and managed to break ten. In a fit of fury she threw her clubs into the pond and then insisted the Rabbit go and fetch them. On her last shot of the day, the Cheshire Cat appeared, breaking her concentration with his cackling, and in the end, she insisted that _he_ was the reason she’d played so poorly.

All in all it was a rather entertaining afternoon and the Hatter and Hare were just giddy to be spending it together.

There was still much to do for the wedding and the Hare needed to get started on the cake. He planned to spend all of the next day in preparation.

“What say you, we take it easy tonight and cuddle in front of the TV?” the Hatter asked as they walked back in the house, kicking off their shoes.

“I think that sounds wonderful,” the Hare sighed, pulling his hat off. “But first I need a shower. I think I still have sand in my pants from trying to help the Queen out of that pit.”

“Which time?” the Hatter laughed.

“I lost count,” the Hare chuckled.

“C’mon,” the Hatter said, grabbing his arm and tugging him up the stairs. “I’ll make sure there’s no sand left.”

The Hare blushed furiously and followed behind him.

***


	15. Wedding Bells

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was determined to make the perfect wedding cake. At least, perfect for the _Hatter_. So he decided to make him a three-tiered, topsy-turvy, powder blue and lilac cake with strawberry vanilla flavored buttercream and multi-colored pastel swirls on the inside. And he already had their cake topper—a small, purple porcelain top hat with a carrot sticking out the top of it. He couldn’t wait for the Hatter to see it. 

The colors for their wedding were pastels with pops of fuchsia and gold. They both loved fun patterns and whimsical colors, so it would be a higgledy-piggledy, mish-mash of all their favorite things.

And the Hare had another surprise up his sleeve—his special wedding gift for the Hatter. Something he’d ordered from the city that was supposed to be delivered that very day. He kept glancing out the kitchen window every few minutes as he stirred his vanilla cake batter, trying to see if the delivery man had come.

“Looking for something?” the Hatter asked, strolling into the kitchen and making him jump.

“Oh! Erm, no…just trying to assess the weather…it always does affect my bakes.”

“Well, you could always just step outside and see for yourself,” the Hatter said, coming up behind him and sliding his arms around his waist.

The Hare barked out a nervous laugh and turned pink.

“Yes, I suppose I could…” he said, grinning.

“Well, I’m off to pick up our tuxedos…and I _promise_ I won’t look at yours,” he added quickly, resting his chin on the Hare’s shoulder. “I asked them to cover them up and pin our names on them.”

“Good,” the Hare said leaning against him, “because I want you to be surprised when you see mine.”

“I’ll love whatever you wear,” the Hatter crooned by his ear.

The Hare giggled. “Now be off with you, I have cakes to bake…”

“Oh, alright, but remember, don’t over-tax yourself. You’ll need lots energy for the wedding…and the _honeymoon_,” he said grinning widely before backing out the door.

The Hare just smirked at him and shook his head.

Right now, he needed to focus on baking.

He got three swirly vanilla cakes baked and was just starting on the last three, when he heard a knock on the front door and nearly threw his whisk across the room.

He ran to the door and flung it open, panting, and was completely thrilled to find a giant, white box sitting on the doorstep.

It was the Hatter’s surprise!

He drug it into the living room, hiding it behind the arm chair, and returned back to the kitchen to finish up his cakes.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter hummed the whole way home as he carried their tuxedos draped over his arm; he couldn’t wait to get a good look at his. It was a very rare thing indeed for him to let someone else make his clothes, but this was a special circumstance, and he wanted the fit to be _just right_. He and the Hare had gone separately to the Tufted Tailor’s shop—a fine clothing atelier located a few miles outside of Wonderland. Old man Tuft was the only one he’d trust to make his clothes—he was the one who’d taught him how to sew, after all!

He walked into the house still humming, tossed the clothes on the back of the armchair, and promptly tripped over a large, white box on the floor.

“Ouch!” he yelped.

“Hatter? Oh good, it’s you! What happened?”

“I tripped over this blasted box,” he said clutching his knee.

“Oh, dear. You weren’t supposed to see that…it’s a surprise.”

“Well, it certainly _surprised_ me! That’s why I ran right into it…”

“It’s my wedding present for you,” the Hare said biting his lip.

“Hare, you didn’t have to get me anything…the cake is plenty,” he said moving towards him, furrowing his brows.

“Yes, but this is something _extra_ special…something that will last much longer than cake. Will you help me carry it out to the tea table where you can open it?”

“Of course,” the Hatter said feeling his heart-rate rising.

Together, they picked up the large box and carried it to the table, where the Hatter quickly swept a pile of dishes onto the ground, making more room.

“Ooooh what’s this?” the Dormouse asked, peeping out of his blue teapot.

“My wedding gift to the Hatter,” the Hare said blushing.

“Shall I open it?” the Hatter asked biting his lip.

“Go for it!”

He carefully cut the top open with a butter knife and pulled back the flaps, revealing a plethora of sparkly, pastel tissue paper, and then he reached his hand inside and pulled something out. He delicately unwrapped it, revealing a beautiful, china tea cup painted with ornate fuchsia and gold swirls. He gaped at it for a moment and then stared at the Hare.

“Hare, did you get me this entire tea set?”

“Y-yes,” the Hare stuttered, wringing his hands.

“I can’t believe you!” the Hatter said flinging his arms around him. “Hare…this…I can’t…” he wheezed, leaning back again. “Thank you,” he finally said, trying to swallow down his emotions.

“Well, I wanted you to have something nice…a keepsake…”

“I certainly won’t be shoving _these_ off the table,” the Hatter said wide-eyed as he unwrapped a matching saucer and eyed it greedily. “These are _exquisite_!”

The Hare grinned from ear to ear and helped him un-wrap the rest of the set, revealing cups and saucers painted with a mix of lilac, powder blue, mint green, and fuchsia swirls accented with gold detailing.

“And these are our wedding colors, too!” the Hatter said excitedly.

Finally, at the bottom of the box, he pulled out an enormous tea pot painted with a rainbow mixture of all the colors and gold swirls.

He gaped at it.

“_I_ want to live in there!” the Dormouse squeaked, his bespectacled eyes growing large.

“Sorry, Dormouse, this is just for tea,” the Hatter said in wonder, trailing his gloved fingertip over the designs. “This is the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me,” he said, carefully setting it down and moving towards the Hare.

“That’s not all,” the Hare said, picking up a saucer and flipping it over.

On the bottom, written in cursive script, it said:

_“To my dearest Hatter— all my love, the Hare.”_

“Wow,” the Hatter breathed. “I love it.”

“I’m so glad,” the Hare said beaming up at him.

And then the Hatter swept him up in his arms and hugged him tight, feeling like his heart was fit to burst.

How could he possibly love him more?

***

\---The Hare---

The day before the wedding had finally arrived and everyone was busy bustling about, arranging the back garden just so, setting up tables and chairs, checking the twinkle lights, and putting the finishing touches on every last detail.

The Hare’s mother was due to arrive shortly and he was anxiously trying to make everything just perfect in order to satisfy her meticulous eye.

“Are you ready to go and get your mother from the station?” the Hatter asked, making him jump, as he was busy dusting the top of the fireplace.

“Hare, I don’t think she’s going to be looking there.”

“You never know…” the Hare said, rubbing his gloved fingers together and examining the dust he’d just wiped off.

“She’ll barely even be here after all—she’s staying at the Holly Hodge Hotel…”

“I know, but everything has to be _perfect_…”

The Hatter sighed. “Is everything ready for the rehearsal dinner?”

“Yes, it’s starting promptly at six o’clock at the Queen’s palace—after we do a run-through of the ceremony in the back garden, of course.”

“I still can’t believe she offered to host it…” the Hatter said frowning.

“Well, we all know _why_,” the Hare said with a huff, crumpling his dust cloth in his hand and pursing his lips.

“Why?”

“Because as long as she’s hosting, she’s still in _control_,” he said putting his hands on his hips.

The Hatter chuckled and moved towards him, clasping him by the shoulders. “Well, just be glad she’s not joining us on the _honeymoon_.”

The Hare softened and grinned up at him. “No, that’s one place she’s _not_ allowed.”

“Exactly, it’s outside her jurisdiction,” the Hatter said with a laugh, before leaning down and pecking his lips. “Now let’s go, I don’t want to be late getting your mother—especially if she’s as _persnickety _as you say.”

“You have _no idea_…” the Hare muttered.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hare’s mother was just getting off the train when they arrived. She smoothed down her bright floral dress, straightened her white, cat-eye glasses, and pursed her lips.

“Right on time,” she said with a sniff, looking them both up and down.

“Hello, Mother,” the Hare said, kissing her on each cheek. “This is the Hatter.”

“Pleasure,” she said pursing her lips at him, making the Hatter feel like he was being examined. He gulped and shook her hand, which gave him the very unpleasant feeling of shaking a limp noodle.

The Hare picked up his mother’s suitcase and raised his brows at the Hatter in an _I-told-you-so_ way.

“Well, shall we be off then?” the Hatter asked. “We came in the Queen’s car…she was generous enough to lend it to us.”

“Yes, we shall,” she replied with a tight smile.

The Hatter felt his stomach churn. The Hare’s mother was just as inscrutable as he’d warned. Maybe she and the Queen would get on quite well...Or not at all…

They got back to the house just as everyone else was arriving, anxious to start the rehearsal and then head to the palace for supper.

The Hatter had to bite his gloved fist to contain his laugh as the Hare’s mother ran her fingers over the top of the fireplace, clearly checking for dust, and when she came up empty, she seemed more perturbed than if she’d found dirt.

“And the kitchen is just this way, Mother,” the Hare said, obviously trying to move her along.

They gave her a quick tour of the house and then shuffled her to the back garden where everyone was waiting.

After they’d done their introductions, Tweedle Dee said, “Let’s rehearse! We can’t keep the Queen waiting!”

“Wouldn’t want that,” the Hare muttered to the Hatter, elbowing him in the side.

The Hatter grinned. One would have thought it was the _Queen’s_ wedding.

They ran through the rehearsal quickly, with the Hatter standing at the end of the aisle, and the Hare’s mother walking him down, where they stood in front of the Walrus who was holding his notes.

The Tweedles practiced with the music, but when the Cotton Eyed Jo started playing, they abruptly snatched the record off.

“Don’t worry! We won’t play that tomorrow!” Dee said. “We must have gotten them mixed up…”

“We’ll fix it!” Dum said, splaying his hands out and popping a hip to the side.

“Oh, brother,” Alice muttered, holding onto her empty flower basket.

***

\---The Hare---

The rehearsal dinner went off without a hitch; that is, if one considers the Queen giving a long-winded speech about herself that had everyone bored to tears, a _success_—then yes, it was a success.

The food was excellent, though, and the Hatter and Hare couldn’t complain about that.

Surprisingly, the White Rabbit and the Hare’s Mother got on quite well. They were both very chatty at the dinner table, discussing her travels and the most recent books she’d read. The Rabbit seemed thoroughly interested in her opinion on his new bow tie, as well as the veggie hors d’oeuvres he’d made for the party.

“Seems like Mother has found her match,” the Hare said elbowing the Hatter in the side as they were finishing up their strawberry crème brulee.

“It’s the first time I’ve seen her really smile,” the Hatter whispered back.

“She can be quite stiff…but get her talking about her _hobbies_, and she loosens up.”

“Speaking of _stiff_, is the caterpillar still coming tomorrow?”

The Hare snorted and quickly wiped his mouth with his napkin. “Yes, he’ll be there. He just couldn’t come tonight because it would have been too taxing. He said one journey a month is about all his legs can handle…”

“Maybe if he’d lay off the _mushrooms_,” the Hatter muttered.

The Hare chuckled and shook his head. “That’d be like telling the Queen to lay off the speeches…”

“How true that is.”

~~~

After the party was over, they dropped the Hare’s mother off at the Holly Hodge Hotel and headed back to their house.

“I had no idea a wedding was so exhausting,” the Hatter said with a yawn, kicking his shoes off at the front door. “I’m beat.”

“Me, too,” the Hare said yawning. “But I’ve still got to finish up a few things on the wedding cake.”

“It can’t wait until tomorrow?”

“I’m afraid I’ll be too busy with other things tomorrow…It would be better to finish it now.”

“Alright, well do you want to shower first or?”

“You go ahead and I’ll go later…and I think I’ll sleep in the attic tonight, too.”

“What? Why?!”

The Hare smirked and walked closer, gripping the lapels of his purple coat. “Because it’s tradition that the groom…and _groom_, sleep apart the night before the wedding.”

“We’re not exactly traditional.”

“I know, but still…it will make tomorrow all that more…”

“Thrilling?” the Hatter said with a mischievous grin.

The Hare chuckled and slid his hands down to his waist, giving him a squeeze.

“Exactly.”

“Well, I’m really going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too,” the Hare said wistfully. “Now, go shower. We have an early morning.”

“Righty-roo,” the Hatter sighed, before pecking his lips and going reluctantly up the stairs.

The Hare grinned to himself, glad the Hatter would miss having him in his bed, because he would certainly miss being there.

He went to the kitchen and started pulling out his baking supplies, preparing to make some more sugar flowers for the cake.

He must have dozed off at some point, because he found himself being carried upstairs by the Hatter, all the way up to the attic, where he lay him down in his old bed, kissed him on the forehead, and then flicked on the top hat night light.

And he could have sworn he heard the Hatter murmur, “Parting is such sweet sorrow,” before leaving the room.

But he couldn’t be sure because he was half-asleep.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter barely slept.

He tossed and turned, and grumbled, and wanted nothing more than to stomp up to the attic, scoop up the Hare, and put him back in his bed—_their_ bed—where he belonged.

Even in such a short time, he’d gotten so used to sleeping with him that nothing else would do. Even though the Hare hogged the covers, tossed and turned, mumbled incessantly, and even whacked him in the face with his arm on occasion, it was more than worth it.

He stared at the clock on the nightstand, counting down the hours until they could be together again.

He felt he’d just shut his eyes, when the alarm was blaring in his face, making him whack it with his hand until it fell to the ground.

“Argh,” he groaned, rolling over.

But there was no rest for the weary; he had a big day ahead.

He heard the bathroom door shut and hugged his pillow, smiling to himself. The Hare must already be up. He wondered if he’d had a fitful night of sleep as well.

He lay there a moment, and then groaned as he rolled out of bed and padded to the door, opening it, only to find a disheveled Hare staring back at him.

“Oh, hello,” the Hare rasped.

The Hatter smiled sleepily, realizing just how much he’d missed the sound of his voice. “Rough night?” he asked.

“Mmmhmm, I’m not sure I even slept.”

“Well, you’d been passed out on the kitchen table for like an hour…so there’s that…”

“My sugar flowers!” he yelped.

“Don’t worry—I put them in the fridge for you.”

“Oh, thank you!” the Hare said clasping onto his purple robe.

They stared at each other for a moment, as if in a daze.

And then there was a knock on the front door.

“I’ll get it,” the Hare said, reluctantly tearing his eyes away, and heading down the stairs.

The Hatter sighed.

Maybe they should have just eloped, he wondered, walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

***

\---The Hare---

It was the Tweedles.

They were carrying an arm-full of red boxes so high that the Hare couldn’t even see their faces.

“Oh, hello,” the Hare said yawning and scratching his ears.

“We’ve brought the music, and the food, and some more décor!” Dee said excitedly.

The Hare grunted and tightened his robe around himself. “Food goes in the kitchen, and everything else outside.”

“Sure thing!” Dum said. “We’ll start setting up the garden!”

The Hare nodded and squinted up at the sky. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. White, fluffy clouds were lazily drifting in a sea of azure blue. The birds were chirping and the air was crisp. He started to smile and took a deep inhale, the reality finally dawning on him that today was his wedding day.

“It’s my wedding day…” he murmured, his grin reaching his eyes. “It’s my _wedding_ day!”

“Well, of course it issssss,” the Cheshire Cat crooned, appearing in the air above him. “What else would it be?”

“Oh, you…”

“Say, are you _sure_ the Dormouse can handle being in charge of the rings?”

“The rings!” the Hare yelped, running back inside the house and then right back out just as quickly.

“Thank you for reminding me, Cat!” He ran over to the tea table and knocked on the Dormouse’s tea pot.

“What’s all the ruckus?” the little mouse squeaked, peeping his head out whilst still wearing his tiny, polka-dotted night cap.

“I’ve got the rings for you!” the Hare said holding up a pink velvet box. He opened it and pulled them out. The Hatter had yet to see his ring—it was another surprise the Hare was thrilled about. On the inside of the ring, he’d had the phrase, “To the Moon and Back” engraved. He hoped the Hatter loved it.

“Gimme!” the mouse squeaked, his eyes going huge.

“Now, Dormouse, you have to promise not to lose these, or _squirrel_ them away…”

“Who’re you calling a SQUIRREL?!” the mouse snapped.

“Just hang onto them…and then you’ll give them back during the ceremony.”

“I will, I will!” the mouse squeaked excitedly, snatching the two gold rings from his fingers and abruptly shutting the lid to his house.

“I’m not suuuuure,” the Cat purred, making the Hare jump. He’d forgotten he was even there.

“Not sure about what?”

“That you should trust a _mouse_ with your valuables…”

“Oh, he’ll be fine! Now I’ve got to be going…lots to do…” he muttered, running back up the front steps. He and the Hatter still needed to pack for the honeymoon…and he needed to finalize the wedding cake, and try on his tux…

“There you are!” the Hatter said beaming at him. “My soon-to-be-husband!” and he swept him up in his arms, making the Hare giggle and completely forget about his to-do list. “It’s our wedding day!” he said grinning.

“I know!” the Hatter said laughing. “Can you believe?”

The Hare shook his head and clasped onto his robe collar. “It’s a dream come true,” he said before pecking his lips.

“Breakfast! We need breakfast!” the Hatter said, dragging him to the kitchen.

There was no room to make pancakes in the packed kitchen, so instead, they ate stale donuts and drank black coffee, and couldn’t have been happier.

“The ice sculpture is here!” Tweedle Dum said excitedly, poking his head through the kitchen window.

“Ice sculpture?” the Hare asked frowning. “Did you order an ice sculpture?”

“No. Did you?”

“No.”

They both scrunched their brows and quickly got up, rushing outside to see what all the commotion was about.

“Here it is!” Tweedle Dee said, throwing his hands out towards the giant statue being set on the ground by a fork lift.

The Hatter and Hare’s jaws hit the ground.

“Is that…the _Queen_?” the Hare asked, moving closer.

“Sure is!” Dee said proudly.

“And that’s you and the Hatter,” Dum said pointing to the giant, frozen Queen’s hand—for placed on top of it were two miniature replicas of the Hatter and the Hare, looking like a pair of grinning, deranged pixies.

“That’s…us?” the Hatter asked, wide-eyed and horrified as he stared at their tiny replicas.

“Seems to be…” the Hare breathed, walking circles around the statue that was at least three feet taller than himself.

“Oh, good! It’s arrived! And all in one piece!” The White Rabbit said breathlessly as he wheeled into the grass on his skates. He clomped towards them with his hand to his heart.

“Well it is much _larger_ than I expected,” he said, scrunching his nose as he observed it.

“The Queen sent this?” the Hare asked.

“Yes! Designed it herself! I suggested she go with a nice swan or even a rose…but no, she insisted you only have the _best_…A statue of her magnanimous self, holding you in the palm of her icy hand…” he trailed off and then cleared his throat. “Well, at least you didn’t have to pay for it,” he muttered.

“Yes, indeed,” the Hatter remarked.

“Let’s just hope it will be a rather warm day,” the Hare muttered.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter gulped as he stared at himself in the mirror. He pulled out his golden pocket watch and stared at it; it was twenty minutes until show time and he was so nervous he felt like if he opened his mouth, butterflies would literally fly out. He wasn’t sure if he should swallow them down or set them free. So instead, he just closed his eyes and tried to breathe.

His tuxedo fit perfectly. It was powder blue, in honor of the Hare, with a lilac undershirt. He’d made the iridescent, matching bow tie as well as the lilac top hat himself. It had his signature 10/6 sign on it, and a sparkly, blue band that went around the base.

He shrugged his jacket on, fluffed out his coat tails, and inhaled shakily.

Lastly, he slipped on his new pair of lilac gloves.

The look was complete and he felt faint.

He wondered if the Hare was just as nervous as he was.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare thought he might throw up the donuts he’d eaten for breakfast. His stomach was churning fiercely.

Thankfully, the tuxedo fit perfectly. He’d had it made with lilac fabric, in honor of the Hatter, with a powder blue shirt underneath. His shoes, bow tie, and gloves were all powder blue as well. He thought he looked similar to the fondant flowers he’d put on the cake just a few hours ago.

He gazed at himself in the mirror and gulped.

It was almost time.

He went to the attic window and peered outside, staring down into the back garden.

He could see the guests arriving and finding their seats.

The Queen was already there, sitting in a special red chair on the front row.

And her ice statue was still standing strong.

He sneered at it and then glanced at the sky, wondering how in the world it hadn’t melted yet. And then, to his surprise, he saw the White Rabbit spraying it with something, momentarily enveloping the statue in a white cloud. Clearly, he was the one keeping it alive.

The Hare huffed and rolled his eyes. Well at least the statue wouldn’t be coming with them on their honeymoon.

And then he began to smile uncontrollably, his heart pounding.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter took a deep breath and then walked outside. All of the white chairs were full and he could see the Walrus, dressed in his navy blues, standing at the end of the aisle, apparently having a conversation with his invisible friend, Penniped.

The Hatter nervously walked on, feeling all eyes on him as the chatter of the guests died down. He gulped.

He could hear light, classical music coming from somewhere and glanced to the side, seeing the Tweedles standing by the record player. They gave him an excited thumbs up and he nodded.

He greeted the Walrus and shook his hand, not really hearing what he was saying because he’d just about left his body. He glanced to his right and saw the Dormouse’s blue teapot sitting on a pedestal entwined with roses.

And finally, he turned and faced the audience, who were smiling anticipatorily at him.

Alice appeared, dressed in a poufy, gold party dress, clutching a white wicker basket and smiling nervously. Her long blonde hair was curled and draped over her gauzy, puffed sleeves. She took a handful of blue and lilac rose petals and scattered them down the aisle as she walked, smiling sweetly at the guests. Once she’d made her way to the end, she sat down next to the White Rabbit, and the Hatter exhaled, relieved it had gone smoothly.

And then the backdoors to the house opened, and his heart stopped.

The Hare’s mother walked out first, and was soon followed by the Hare, wearing a lilac tux and a nervous expression.

The Hatter watched him, unblinkingly, as they walked to the beginning of the aisle.

And then the music changed and everyone was standing, and he wasn’t sure if he was dreaming or awake...dead or alive. He’d lost all feeling in his body as the sounds of the Wedding March filled the air.

All he saw was the Hare, and the Hare saw him.

And then the Hare grinned, his entire face lighting up, as bright as the sun.

The Hatter felt a rush of feeling come back to him, as his mouth responded of its own accord and he grinned from ear to ear, his heart starting up again and pounding violently against his ribs.

And then the Hare and his Mother were standing before him. She tearfully kissed him on the cheek and went to sit down by the Queen.

It was just the two of them now.

He bit his lip and stood before him, and it was all the Hatter could do to not lunge forward and fling his arms around him, but he wasn’t exactly sure where Penniped was, and didn’t want to whack him in the face.

The Walrus cleared his throat and said, “You may be seated.”

“We are gathered here today to celebrate the loving union of the Hatter and the Hare!” he bellowed.

They both stared at each other and grinned.

“Do you Hare, take the Hatter to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forth, til death do you part?

“I do,” the Hare said, staring deeply into his eyes.

“And do you Hatter, take the Hare to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forth, til death do you part?”

“I do,” the Hatter breathed.

“Let us have the rings.”

They stood there for a moment, but then nothing happened. So the Hatter turned and knocked on the Dormouse’s teapot.

“Dormouse? The rings!” he hissed.

The lid opened and the little mouse popped out, “I can’t find them!” he squeaked, his glasses askew as if he’d just been rummaging around frantically for them.

“What?!”

“I’ve looked everywhere!”

“Loooooking for something?” the Cheshire Cat asked, suddenly appearing above them.

“We have no time for games, Cat!” the Hatter hissed.

“Even if they involve riiiiiings?” the Cat asked with a devilish grin, and with a “pop”, two gold rings appeared on his paw.

“Cat! Where did you get those?!” the Hare asked.

“Never trust a mouse!” the Cat said with a loud cackle as he faded away.

The Hatter lunged forward and caught the rings just before they fell into the grass.

He stared at the Hare, wide-eyed, and they both shook their heads.

“I didn’t give him those!” the Dormouse squeaked, hanging out of the side of his teapot.

“It’s okay, Dormouse,” the Hatter whispered. “We’ve found them and that’s all that matters.”

“Now, Hatter, take the Hare’s hand and repeat after me…”

The Hare yanked his glove off and placed his hand in the Hatter’s.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” the Walrus said.

The Hatter licked his lips and then repeated, “With this ring, I thee wed,” and then he slid the ring on his finger.

The Hare grinned broadly and then put his glove back on.

“And now Hare, if you’ll repeat after me—with this ring, I thee wed."

The Hatter tugged his glove off and placed his hand in the Hare’s.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” the Hare said, sliding the band on his finger.

It was the first time the Hatter had seen the ring and his eyes lit up.

“And now, by the power invested in me, by the Queen of Hearts and the kingdom of Wonderland, I now pronounce you husband and husband—you may KISS!” the Walrus bellowed.

They both chuckled and stared at each other bashfully for moment, that is, until the Hatter lunged forward and flung his arms around the Hare, kissing him squarely on the mouth and dipping him backwards, as the guests jumped up and out of their seats, cheering and waving little pastel flags in the air.

Eventually, they pulled back, grinning from ear to ear, clasped hands, and marched down the aisle—surely the two happiest people in all of Wonderland!

***


	16. Wedded Bliss

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare couldn’t believe he was really married. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. After he and the Hatter—his _husband_—marched down the aisle, they went straight into the house for a quick, private moment.

“We did it!” the Hatter exclaimed, clasping onto his shoulders. “We _really_ did it!”

“It was perfect,” the Hare sighed, gazing up at him.

“And your suit!”

“And yours!”

They both laughed.

“We match perfectly,” the Hare said running his finger along the edge of the Hatter’s iridescent bow tie.

“We’re a pair,” the Hatter said quietly, gripping the back of his neck and pulling him closer.

“A pair of sops.”

“That, too,” the Hatter breathed, bringing their mouths together. His passionate kiss left the Hare completely dizzy, and he had to cling onto his lapels to stay upright.

“Save some for tonight,” he giggled.

“Don’t worry…I will,” the Hatter said darkly.

“Hatter, Hare! It’s time!” Tweedle Dee hollered, sticking his head right through the kitchen window.

They pulled back and grinned at each other, clasped hands, and then headed back outside to begin their reception.

Everyone had already put the garden back in order, moving the white ceremony chairs to round tables, and laying down a make-shift dance floor with a giant red heart painted in the center of it—courtesy of the Queen, of course. The sun was just beginning to set and the twinkle lights strung from the trees were glowing brighter with each passing minute. There was a giant, long rectangular dessert table covered with all kinds of sweets on gold-tiered trays, with the wedding cake sitting in the very center on a golden pedestal. Soft, tinkling music was coming from somewhere, and the sweet smell of blooming roses filled the air.

“It looks like a dream,” the Hatter breathed, wide-eyed.

“Wait until you see the cake,” the Hare smirked.

“Oh, yes please!”

“C’mon,” the Hare said tugging his hand and pulling him into the crowd of people happily patting them on the back. The Hare’s mother was on the arm of the White Rabbit and kissed the Hare on each cheek, smiling.

The Queen shoved her way over to them, grinning largely.

“Lovely ceremony!” she said beaming. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you, your Majesty,” they both said with a small bow.

“And I see you got my little gift?” she asked with a proud smirk, staring behind them at the giant ice sculpture.

“Y-yes we did…and what a _wonderful_ gift it is…so _unique_,” the Hare crooned trying not to grimace.

“Good! I’m glad. It’s an ORIGINAL!” she said loudly, making sure everyone heard her. “And I bet ole’ Duchy doesn’t have one…” the Hare heard her mutter as she walked away.

“Show me the cake!” the Hatter urged excitedly.

“Here it is!” the Hare said proudly, holding out his gloved hands in front of the decedent, pastel, six-tiered, topsy-turvy cake covered in sugar flowers.

“It’s magnificent!” the Hatter gushed, moving closer and eyeing every detail. “The cake topper! It’s amazing!” he said pointing to the porcelain purple top hat with a carrot sticking out the top.

“I had it specially made!” the Hare said grinning.

“There’s so many layers! And the colors are perfect!”

“Wait until you see the inside…”

The White Rabbit appeared, nearly toppling into the table on his skates. They both grabbed him by the arms to steady him. “Oh, thank you, thank you,” he said, standing up and straightening his vest. “Shall I inform everyone that you’re going to cut the cake?”

“Yes!” the Hatter said excitedly, rubbing his gloved hands together.

The Hare grinned at him, feeling so happy inside he could burst.

The White Rabbit made the announcement and the guests gathered round them.

The Hatter grabbed a large, gleaming golden knife and held it above the cake, waiting for the Hare to place his hand on top, and then together they sliced through the thick, buttercream icing and sugar flowers. When they’d cut the cake wedge out completely, intricate pastel swirls were revealed on the inside.

The Hatter gasped and everyone cheered.

“Hare made this!” the Hatter announced proudly.

The Hare blushed furiously. Then they each took a piece of cake, linked arms, and fed it to each other without dropping a crumb.

“This is _heavenly_!” the Hatter said with his mouth full. “Strawberry vanilla—my favorite!”

The Hare laughed and pecked a kiss to his pastel buttercream lips, making the guests whoop and cheer even louder.

“Who wants CAKE?!” The Hatter asked, throwing his hands in the air.

~~~

After everyone had been served, they all sat down at their tables to eat more sweets.

“I’m so glad I didn’t have to make all these desserts,” the Hare said, sipping on his flute of pink champagne.

“Me too…I wouldn’t have seen you all week if you had.”

“Well you’ll have me all to yourself for a week at the Ocean Breeze Inn and Spa…”

The Hatter went silent as he swallowed down an entire raspberry custard. “I’m counting down the minutes,” he finally said, grasping the Hare’s thigh possessively under the table.

The Hare jumped and then barked out a nervous laugh—a few people turned to look at him—and then the Hatter started laughing, too, and they both had red faces.

“Have you tried the petit fours?” the Hare asked clearing his throat.

“Yes, they’re amazing! The lemon berry ones are my favorite!”

“Oh, you must try the blueberry buttercream!” the Hare said, promptly shoving one in the Hatter’s mouth.

“Scrummy!” the Hatter said around a mouthful. He then gulped down his pink champagne and wiped his mouth.

“That’s _champagne_, Hatter,” the Hare leaned in and whispered.

“I know!” the Hatter said raising his brows several times.

The Hare giggled and popped a bit of cherry tart into his mouth. The Hatter was well on his way to being as tipsy as the Caterpillar after he’d smoked a few. He looked around for the Caterpillar, finally seeing him by the dessert table—of course—with a different sweet in each hand. He was talking to the Walrus who kept turning to his invisible friend, Penniped, clearly including him in the conversation.

The music grew louder and the lights brighter, and eventually, Tweedle Dum stood at the center of the dance floor, straightened his pastel bow tie and cleared his throat. “And now, we’ll have the first dance. Hatter, Hare, if you’d step onto the dance floor…”

The pair quickly wiped their mouths and grinned at each other, pushing their chairs back and standing up.

“Maybe we should have practiced this first,” the Hare said worriedly, leaning into the Hatter and whispering in his ear.

“Nah, we’ll just wing it,” the Hatter said, a slight slur to his voice. “We dance all the time…this shouldn’t be so different.”

The song began to play and the Hatter took the Hare by the hand and pulled him into his arms, holding him close, and then he proceeded to dance around the floor as if gliding on air.

“I didn’t know you could dance like this!” the Hare said in awe, letting the Hatter do all the work and trying not to step on his toes.

“Well, we’ve never danced together like this before…” the Hatter hummed, his chin pressed against the top of the Hare’s head. “I’m glad my mother made me take those dance lessons.”

“Me, too!” the Hare chuckled, holding onto his hand tightly. He wasn’t sure if it was their close proximity, or the way the Hatter was spinning them round and round, but he was certainly feeling rather dizzy and warm.

The music eventually faded and the Hatter slowed, dipping him backwards as the guests clapped with delight.

Then the Hatter pulled him into his arms and kissed him long and hard, until the Hare was breathless and squirming against him. After finally pulling back, he held their hands up to the crowd and grinned, and then he hiccupped loudly and tugged the Hare back to their table.

“This is divine!” the Hatter said, gulping down another flute of pink champagne. “I don’t know why we drink tea when we could have _this stuff_,” he said smacking his lips.

“Now everyone dance!” Tweedle Dee hollered, motioning for people to come onto the dance floor, which was now sprinkled with moving pink lights in the shape of hearts.

Tweedle Dum cranked up the beat and together, he and his brother did a thrilling dance number for all the guests. Tweedle Dee did several back flips while Dum was break dancing on the floor.

At one point, the Hatter joined them, shaking his booty and getting down to the beat, that is, until the Hare rescued him and pulled him back to their table. “Maybe we’ll wait until the floor gets a bit more crowded,” the Hare said, red-faced. “I’m not sure everyone here is quite ready for _those moves_…”

“But I’ve got _moves you’ve never seen_…” the Hatter breathed, inches from his face.

“Yes, I’m sure you do,” the Hare giggled. “Which is exactly why we need to wrap up this party and start our own.”

But the party was just getting started. The guests danced under the stars well into the night—even the Caterpillar joined in! Waving his arms and wiggling his gelatinous body to the beat. Alice fell asleep at her table with her elbow rested in a chocolate pudding, and the Dormouse, so high off the twelve petit fours he’d eaten, passed out hanging over the side of his tea pot. The Queen and the White Rabbit quite enjoyed the dancing and even the Hare’s mother got in on the action.

Finally, the Hare told the Tweedles to play one more song before wrapping things up; otherwise, he was sure they would have played all night long.

“It was a perfect day,” he murmured by the Hatter’s ear, resting his chin on his shoulder as they danced at the center of the crowd.

“Indeed it was. The perfecest.”

The Hare glanced upwards and smiled at the yellow twinkle lights draped over the pink hued danced floor, and looked beyond them to see the stars. He hugged the Hatter tighter and smiled serenely. It was all more than he ever could have imagined.

The guests finished the song by standing around them and singing the lyrics at the top of their lungs, while they continued dancing in the center of the group, grinning from ear to ear.

The music finally faded out and everyone sleepily pulled apart and shuffled to gather their things.

“Bedtime for me,” the Hatter said, clasping his hands together with a dopey grin.

“Oh, wait!” Dee exclaimed. “We have to send you off!”

“Send us off? But we’re not leaving until the morning,” the Hare said scrunching is face.

“No, tonight! It’s tradition,” Dum chimed in.

“We’ll shower you with confetti and sparklers as you run to the house!” Dee said.

“And we’ll clean up back here! No worries!” Dum added.

“Have a wonderful honeymoon!” the Queen said, looking a bit tipsy herself as she swayed on her feet; her beehive hair a poufy, deflated mess on her head. 

“We’ll take care of everything!” the White Rabbit said, quickly steadying the Queen.

“Thank you!” the Hatter and Hare said in unison.

“We couldn’t have done this without you!” the Hare said.

“And we wouldn’t have wanted to!” the Hatter added.

And then everyone formed two lines and the Hatter grasped the Hare’s hand, and together they ran between them, getting showered with pastel confetti paper and glowing sparklers as they laughed all the way to their front door.

It was a truly magical send off.

The Hare was fairly certain some of the confetti had caught fire, as the smell of burning paper wafted faintly on the breeze, but he didn’t turn around to see; he had more important things on his mind.

“Oh, wait!” the Hatter said, grabbing his arm.

“What?”

“I need to carry you over the threshold.”

“Alright,” the Hare replied, grinning widely.

The Hatter scooped him up in his arms and proceeded to walk through the front door.

“I did it! And without injury—" the Hatter exclaimed, before promptly whacking the Hare’s head on the door frame.

“Well, _almost_ without injury…” he sighed.

The Hare laughed and rubbed his head, sliding out of his arms and standing back on the ground. “C’mon, you,” he said tugging on the Hatter’s lapel.

The Hatter tripped on the stairs as he followed behind him, “Shhh,” he said, “We don’t wanna wake the Dormouse.”

The Hare just laughed and continued pulling him along.

When they got up to the bedroom the Hare wasted no time greedily peeling the Hatter’s jacket off, followed by his pocket watch, and then his bow tie—his top hat must have been forgotten outside somewhere—and then he started unbuttoning his dress shirt.

“Are you going to let me do all the work?” he asked, looking up at him.

“It’s quite nice,” the Hatter replied, peering down at him with glazed over eyes.

The Hare clucked his tongue and huffed, but then the Hatter grasped him by the shoulders and squeezed. “My _husband_,” he said, smilingly like he’d had one too many champagne flutes—which in fact, he _had_.

“Yes, I’m your husband,” the Hare replied, sliding off the Hatter's shirt and tossing it aside.

The Hatter gulped. “Is it my turn?”

“I thought _I_ was doing all the work.”

“Nope,” the Hatter breathed, popping the “p” and leaning forward unsteadily. He then slid the Hare’s jacket off and started trying to undo his shirt buttons, but kept fumbling.

“Let me,” the Hare said helping him. And then after he'd finished he tugged off his own bow-tie and dropped it on the floor.

“What now?” the Hatter asked, swaying on his feet.

The Hare licked his lips and gazed up at him, “Whatever we want, dearest…whatever we want.”

The Hatter shivered and pulled him close, staring down at him intensely for a moment before finding his mouth.

The Hare melted into his embrace, kissing him back hungrily, and sliding his hand between them, nimbly unbuttoning the Hatter’s trousers and sliding down the zipper.

***

\---The Hare---

“HONK! HONK! HONK!”

The Hare rolled over and whacked the Hatter in the face with his hand.

“What the—" the Hatter exclaimed sitting straight up in bed.

“Hmm?” the Hare noised.

“Hare, did you hear that?”

“What?”

“HONK! HONK! HONK!”

The Hatter looked at the clock on the nightstand and let out a shriek.

“Hare! It’s nine o’clock! We’re going to be late! That must be the car waiting for us outside…”

“Car?” the Hare mumbled into the pillow, curling in a ball under the covers.

“For our HONEYMOON!” the Hatter bellowed as he hopped off the bed, promptly tripping over their pile of clothes on the floor, and was catapulted across the room.

The Hare sat up in bed, blinking. “Hatter?” he rasped. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” the Hatter groaned. “I’ll be fine…just…ARGH!” He pried himself up. “Let’s just get dressed,” he wheezed.

The Hare blinked again and stared the Hatter up and down. He was wearing the Hare’s too-tight carrot covered pajama bottoms but with no top. The Hare looked down at himself and realized he was wearing his carrot-clad button down pajama top, but no bottoms. He scratched his head, wondering how that happened.

“HARE! Now!” the Hatter wheezed before running out the door.

The Hare smiled sleepily and fell back on the pillows.

“What a night,” he murmured dreamily, staring up at the ceiling. He rolled over and looked at the clock, noticing his pastel blue underwear draped over the top of the lamp. He wasn’t sure how that happened either.

How much champagne had he drunk?

***

\---The Hare---

The Hatter raced down the stairs and flew outside, only to come face to face with the banana car and a very disgruntled beetle.

“I’m sorry!” he wheezed, clutching his chest. “Overslept!”

“Well, I’ve been waiting for ages!” the beetle squeaked.

“I thought I ordered a limo?” the Hatter asked, blinking at the bright yellow car.

“This is what was available,” the beetle grumbled with a shrug.

“Okay, well give us just a few more minutes and we’ll be ready!” the Hatter cried before dashing back into the house.

He ran up the stairs and collided with the Hare who was just walking out onto the landing.

“Hare! You need to get ready!”

“What do you think I’m doing?!” the Hare snapped, wild-eyed. His hair was standing about foot taller than normal and poufing out in all directions.

The Hatter froze and then started to grin. “Good morning, my _husband_,” he said, before clasping him by the shoulders and kissing him senseless.

When he pulled back, the Hare’s eyes were still closed and he had a drunken expression on his face. “Save some for the honeymoon…” the Hare murmured.

“There’s plenty more where that came from! Now get dress! You have two minutes!” the Hatter barked, slapping him on the bottom and grinning.

Then he went to their bedroom, grabbed their packed bags, and hurtled them down the stairs. He was so thankful the Hare had already packed for them the day before.

Then he haphazardly threw a clean purple suit on and ran back downstairs to pack some donuts and grab some iced coffees out of the fridge.

When the Hare came downstairs they both tried to squeeze out the front door at the same time, getting stuck.

“We need…to tell…the Dormouse goodbye!” the Hatter grunted as he pushed his way out of the door frame.

They rushed over to the tea table and knocked on the mouse’s tea pot.

“What is it?” the Dormouse squeaked irritably, peeping his sleepy head out of the blue teapot.

“We’re leaving!” the Hatter wheezed. “Wanted to tell you goodbye!”

“The Tweedles will come and check on things!” the Hare added.

“Have a good honeymoon…” the mouse said, covering his mouth as he yawned. “Bring me back a souvenir…and not _sand lice_,” he said rubbing his eyes.

“We will!” the Hatter said. “I mean, not the _lice_…but some other souvenir.”

The horn honked and they all jumped.

“Goodbye!” the Hare shouted over his shoulder as they ran towards the car.

The Hatter grabbed their bags, opened the stem of the banana, chucking them inside, and then they jumped in the car.

“Step on it!” he bellowed.

And then they were off at break-neck speed, racing towards the Wonderland train station, ready to begin their honeymoon.

***

\---The Hatter---

They arrived just as the train was about to pull away, its wheels turning and engine puffing large quantities of white smoke, partially obscuring the deep blue sky.

“Hurry!” the Hatter yelled as he hopped on the train and held his hand out to the Hare.

The Hare threw their bags onto the platform and then ran alongside the train, straining for the Hatter’s outstretched hand. The Hatter finally caught hold of him and hoisted him up and against his body as they fell backwards against the door.

“What a dramatic beginning,” the Hare breathed, wide-eyed, as he peered up at the Hatter.

“Well, we made it, and that’s all that matters,” the Hatter said dreamily, flicking his eyes to the Hare’s mouth. He pulled him closer and leaned down, kissing him passionately as the train started to pick up speed.

“Should probably go inside,” the Hare murmured, blinking up at him.

The Hatter grinned and opened the door, then picked up their bags and walked into the train car.

The inside was extraordinarily lavish.

“This is beautiful!” the Hare exclaimed, spinning in a circle and gaping up at the sparkling chandelier hanging from a blue velvet and gold ensconced ceiling.

“It’s all ours!” the Hatter said gleefully, opening his arms out to the bedazzled space. “We got the caboose!”

“Wow! All this just for our trip to the beach?”

“Well, it’s going to take two days after all…and I’ll have nothing but the very best for my _husband_,” the Hatter gushed, spinning around with his hands on his hips.

The Hare flushed and bit his lip. “Gee, I feel spoiled…”

“Well, you _should_,” the Hatter said darkly, moving towards him. “I’m going to spoil you rotten,” he said in a low voice, grabbing hold of his lapels and tugging him forward.

The Hare gaped up at him and blinked.

There was a knock on the door and they both jumped apart.

“Tickets!” a deep voice came.

The Hatter opened the door to find the Walrus standing there in his navy blue uniform.

“Walrus?!”

“Hello!” the walrus said cheerfully. “Tickets?”

“I didn’t know you worked here, too!”

“Yes, well I have _many_ jobs…like to keep things interesting. Penniped here gets rather restless.”

The Hatter blinked and looked at the empty space next to the Walrus where his invisible friend was supposedly standing. “That’s, nice,” he said absently. _"And they call me ‘mad’…” _he thought, raising his brows._  
_

“Tickets?”

“Oh, right! Here you go, he said pulling out two large, red, heart-shaped pieces of paper from his breast pocket.

“Ah, the honeymoon suite!” the Walrus said with a sly smirk and a twinkle in his squinted eyes.

“Well, yes…you did marry us after all,” the Hatter said confused, glancing back to look at the Hare.

The Hare just shook his head and shrugged.

“We will be arriving at the Ocean Breeze Inn and Spa in two days. Meals are complimentary and will be served in the dining room—unless of course you’d prefer them delivered here. Enjoy your stay on the Wonderland Railroad!” he said with a little bow. “Come along, Penniped!”

“Er, thanks,” the Hatter said before shutting the door. “Strange fellow,” he muttered, shaking his head.

The Hare wobbled slightly and the Hatter reached out to grab him.

“Hare, are you okay?” he asked worriedly.

“Yes, yes, I think I probably just need to eat something. The donuts and coffee are swimming in my stomach.”

“I’ll order room service!” the Hatter said going over to an extravagant gold desk and picking up a large, rectangular menu.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare shuffled woozily over to the deep, violet-colored velvet couch and sank down, clutching onto his knees. “We’re moving rather fast,” he murmured, feeling like the room was spinning.

“Hmm? What was that?” the Hatter asked, setting down the ornate gold phone with a click. “I just ordered the entire lunch menu for us!” he said proudly.

The Hare groaned and let his head drop between his knees.

“Hare!”

“It’s okay…I think I might have motion sickness…”

“Haven’t you been on a train before?”

“Yes…to my mother’s…but it’s a very quick trip.”

“Oh dear…” the Hatter said, plopping down beside him on the couch and making the Hare groan and lean forward farther. “Sorry,” he said rubbing his back. “What can I do? We’ll be on this train for the next two days!” he said pulling his top hat off and tugging at his hair.

“Maybe it will pass…” the Hare wheezed.

There was knock on the door and the Hatter jumped up and opened it.

A skittish looking squirrel-faced man wheeled a golden cart into the room that was piled high with dishes of steaming food; he gave a low bow, and then skittered backwards and shut the door.

“Well, here’s lunch,” the Hatter said rather hopelessly, lifting a lid off a silver dish, a cloud of steam hitting him in the face.

The Hare took one whiff of the pungent aroma and bolted for the bathroom, slamming the door shut and promptly falling to his knees.

This was _not_ how he’d imagined their honeymoon…

Yes, he’d imagined being on his _knees_ for part of it…

But certainly not in front of the _toilet_.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter sat on the velvet couch and twiddled his thumbs anxiously before getting up and pacing around the room.

“This just won’t do…no, this just won’t do…” he kept muttering to himself. And then he heard a frightful noise coming from the bathroom and bolted towards the door. “Hare?! Are you alright? What can I do?”

There was a feeble grunt and then the door knob turned, and the Hare was standing there with red, watery eyes, looking completely pale and wilted.

“Poor thing!” the Hatter exclaimed, enveloping him in his arms. “I’m so sorry!”

The Hare just grunted again and smooshed his face into the Hatter’s purple shoulder.

Sighing, the Hatter scooped him up and carried him into the bedroom. “You haven’t even seen the bedroom!” he said, laying him down gently on the blue velvet duvet that was stitched with golden stars and intricate swirls.

“S’lovely,” the Hare murmured.

“Surely this will pass and you’ll feel better soon,” the Hatter said, sitting down next to him and smoothing his sweaty hair back from his face.

“I hope so, too,” the Hare replied, closing his eyes. He curled into a ball and turned on his side, clinging onto the purple satin pillow under his head.

“I’ll just go eat something and then come and lay down with you. We’ll be on those white sandy beaches in no time,” the Hatter said before leaning down and placing a kiss to his temple.

“No time at all,” he whispered before slipping out the door.

***

\---The Hare---

“Hare…Hare…we’re nearly there!” the Hatter whispered excitedly as he plopped down on the bed. “The Walrus said one more hour! Soon we’ll have our toes in the sand! Can you believe?” he said cuddling closer to the Hare and spooning him from behind.

The Hare grunted and then sighed.

He felt terrible for being sick for their entire train ride. It was a dreadful state to be in on one’s honeymoon. But the Hatter had handled it like a champ. He kept him calm and hydrated and even had a special carrot and potato soup made just for him.

If they could survive _this_, they could survive anything.

He drifted back to sleep and was awoken again an hour later by the wonderful, and yet _sickening_, feeling of the train coming to a complete stop.

“We made it!” the Hatter said,

The Hare grunted and rolled to his back, blinking up at the purple velvet ceiling. “Finally stopped,” he muttered, anticipating what his stomach was about to do, but thankfully, his insides remained calm. The room quit spinning and he gingerly sat up on the bed, with the Hatter’s help.

“Do you need me to carry you?” the Hatter asked eagerly.

“I think I can manage,” the Hare said, shooting him a crooked smile. He stood up slowly and sighed with relief.

“Better?” the Hatter asked, his blue eyes wide.

“Better,” the Hare replied.

They took their time gathering their things and then finally exited the caboose.

The sharp, salty ocean breeze was the first thing to hit them as they stepped off the train.

The Hare took a deep and delicious inhale of sand, suntan lotion, and salt. He blinked his eyes open to the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen in his life.

The ocean.

“Wow,” the Hatter breathed next to him, “Paradise.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~The Hatter and Hare’s Wedding Song Playlist~
> 
> 1.) First Dance: “Time After Time” by: Cyndi Lauper (Because…of course it is. Pastel suits and pink heart lights moving on the dance floor. So dreamy!)  
2.) “At Last” by: Celine Dion  
3.) “Angel of Mine” by: Monica (The Hatter surprised the Hare with this one)  
4.) “For Your Precious Love” by: Otis Redding (They both got teary during this one.)  
5.) "Can’t Help Falling Love” by: Elvis Presley  
6.) “L-O-V-E” by: Nat King Cole  
7.) “What The World Needs Now Is Love” by: Jackie DeShannon  
8.) “Get Up Offa that Thing” by: James Brown (The Hatter shook his booty to this and the Hare drug him off the dance floor—he hadn’t had enough to drink yet.)  
9.) “Kiss on My List” by: Daryl Hall and John Oates (Everyone line-danced to this with the White Rabbit leading the group!)  
10.) “You Sexy Thing” by: Hot Chocolate (The Hatter drunkenly sang this to the Hare in the middle of the dance floor. The Hare’s face was on fire; he’d never been more embarrassed…or turned on.)  
11.) “Lady, Lady, Lady” by: Giorgio Moroder and Joe Esposito (The Hare may or may not have drunkenly sang this to the Hatter.)  
12.) “Take on Me” by: Soft Cell (The Hatter and the Hare adore 80’s music! They danced like fiends to this and sang to each other!)  
13.) “If You Leave” by: OMD (They got pretty touchy during this one…I mean, it’s in the song.)  
14.) “Red Red Wine” (Everyone was definitely tipsy when they danced to this. Even the Hare’s mother.)  
15.) “Genius of Love” by: Tom Tom Club  
16.) “Take Me Home Tonight” by: Eddie Money (The Hare passionately sang this to the Hatter, walking in circles around him and poking his chest during the chorus. He couldn’t keep his hands off him. The Hatter didn’t complain.)  
17.) “Heat of the Moment” by: Asia (They definitely thought about their first kiss during this one.)  
18.) “Heaven is a Place on Earth” by: Belinda Carlisle (The Queen belted this one—she was referring to Wonderland, of course.)  
19.) “Can’t Take My Eyes off of You” by: Lauryn Hill (Things got pretty steamy. Good thing Alice was still asleep.)  
20.) “Say A Little Prayer” by: Diana King (They finished the night off with this one! Everyone sang as the Hatter and Hare danced in the center of the giant red heart on the dance floor. They don’t remember how frisky they got—but everyone else sure does!)


	17. Beachy Keen

***

\---The Hare---

They walked along a white-washed boardwalk and followed the directions of pastel painted crooked arrows pointing the way to the anticipated “Ocean Breeze Inn and Spa.”

After walking for what felt like a rather long time, with sweat dripping down their faces, they came over a hill and at last spied their long awaited destination.

But it wasn’t at all what they had expected.

Nestled in the sand down below was a small dilapidated, white-washed shack that sat squarely on the beach.

“This is it?” the Hare asked, wide-eyed, stumbling on a wooden plank and nearly flying face first into the sand before the Hatter reached out and grabbed him.

The Hatter twitched his mouth to the side. “There must be some mistake. This doesn’t look _anything_ like the brochure. Didn’t your mother recommend this place?”

“Well, yes…but I can’t imagine this being the _same_ place. Mother’s very particular, you know.”

“Yes, indeed,” the Hatter said chewing on his lip. “Well let’s go inside and see if we can sort this out.”

They continued walking along the boardwalk and right up to the front door.

The cottage—if it could be called that—was surrounded by groupings of palm trees and bright fuchsia flowers. Vines were growing up the sides of the structure and all the windows were open, with white curtains blowing gently in the breeze.

“It’s not _terrible_,” the Hare muttered.

“No, but it’s not what we expected either. Where’s Beachtown’s ‘_Largest Fresh Water Pool’_?”

“Maybe over that hill?” the Hare said with a shrug.

The Hatter grumbled and then dropped his suitcase and knocked on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again.

Finally, the door opened and the Walrus was standing there, his mustache twitching.

“Walrus?! Again? What are you doing here?” the Hatter stammered.

“Wh—I work here!”

The Hatter and Hare both turned and gaped at each other and then stared back at the Walrus.

“Walrus, I think there’s been some kind of blunder. We meant to go to the ‘Ocean Breeze Inn and Spa’…and I think we’ve been brought to this derelict shack by mistake.”

“It’s no mistake!” the Walrus barked. “This is that place!”

“Well, it looks nothing like the brochure!” the Hare chimed in, wincing when the Walrus glared at him.

“Penniped made those brochures, there’s no telling what he put on them…”

“So you’re telling me this is an _actual_ resort and you get _actual_ guests here?” the Hatter asked, taking his top hat off and swiping back his sweaty hair. “Because I’m having a hard time believing that _anyone_ would pay to come here.”

The Hatter’s temper was really rising, and for fear of angering the Walrus even more, the Hare quickly interjected (because there was nothing worse than an angry Walrus after all—and especially one with a crafty, invisible friend.)

“No matter! This will do just splendidly!” the Hare said with a large, toothy grin. “Won’t it, Hatter?” he asked, nudging his side.

The Hatter gaped at him in surprise and then scowled. Finally he sighed and his shoulders slumped. “As long as there’s no _sand lice_, I suppose this will do,” he muttered, defeatedly.

“Wonderful!” the Walrus bellowed. “Step right in…but NOT on Penniped!” he barked.

They both froze and carefully followed behind him.

“You’ll have the entire place to yourselves for the stay…bedroom is here, bathroom here, kitchen…and of course, the reason for your stay—the ocean!” he said, walking out onto the back deck and opening his arms.

“And what about the ‘Spa’ part of the ‘Ocean Breeze Inn and Spa’?” the Hatter asked, dropping their bags on the creaky, sand-covered wooden floor.

“Aw, yes, there’s an outdoor shower!” the Walrus said, clasping his beefy hands together gleefully.

The Hatter scowled.

“And what about the complimentary meals?” the Hare asked.

“Aw, yes, there is a _complimentary_ beach surrey you can use at your disposal to take to the market—it’s just down the way."

The Hare gaped.

“And what about Beachtown’s ‘_Largest Fresh Water Pool_?’” the Hatter asked, crossing his arms.

“Aw, yes, you have a rather large bathtub that can be filled with the purest water in all of Beachtown!”

Finally, giving up on questions, the Hatter and Hare turned to each other and sighed.

“We’ll take it,” they both said in unison.

The Walrus happily gave them the keys, saying someone would be back to check on them the next day, and slipped out the door, Penniped apparently following after him.

“Well,” the Hare said, plopping down on the sand-dusted sofa, “at least we aren’t on the train anymore.”

“How true that is,” the Hatter grumbled, plopping down next to him.

***

\---The Hatter---

After getting unpacked and emptying their dresser drawers of sand, they decided to go to the market and get some food.

“Have you ever driven one of these things before?” the Hatter asked, circling around the four-wheeled metal surrey with a bright yellow and white striped cloth roof.

“No, but it can’t be that hard…all you have to do is pedal,” the Hare said, sitting down in the passenger’s seat. He was wearing blue and white polka dot beach trunks, a neon-orange tank top and large, black sunglasses. The Hatter, white as a ghost, was wearing purple trunks, a lime-green tank top, a purple baseball cap, and giant, purple bedazzled sunglasses.

The Hatter sat down next to him and put his feet on the pedals. “This market better not be far,” he grumbled.

~~~

An hour and several miles later, they arrived at the Beachtown market—dripping with sweat and very disgruntled.

“Just over the hill he says…” the Hatter wheezed as they pedaled into a parking spot. “I’ll kill him…”

“There, there, Hatter,” the Hare panted. “We made it, and that’s all that matters…”

“We better stock up, because we’re certainly not doing this every day…this was supposed to be our…VACATION!” the Hatter belted as they came to a stop.

“It will be! You’ll see! Let’s just get our food and then we can go back and relax…”

The market was busy with people—though exactly _where_ they were all staying—they didn’t know. Their beach had been deserted.

The Hare grabbed a basket and they wheeled down the sparse aisles looking for something good to eat.

“Well, at least they have fruit,” the Hare said picking up a bunch of bananas.

“Fabulous…we can live off bananas…and then drive home in one…” the Hatter grumbled.

“Hatter, cheer up! Look at this as an adventure! Our very first adventure as a _married couple_,” the Hare said, attempting to grin seductively as he raised his brows several times.

The Hatter tried not to smile but he couldn’t help it. “What, the train ride here didn’t count?” he asked with a smirk.

“No. We can just forget that ever happened.”

“Well, I don’t want to…” the Hatter said, absently, picking up a large papaya and examining it. “I quite like taking care of you…”

The Hare blushed and bit his lip. “Alright then…Well now, let me take care of _you_.”

The Hatter darted his eyes up and grinned at him. “Alright,” he said, his cheeks going rosy.

“And first—let’s get you fed!” the Hare said tossing the bananas into the cart.

***

\---The Hatter---

The ride back home was much easier and faster than going because they were pedaling downhill, but still, it was not something they wanted to do every day.

The Hatter grabbed their grocery bags from the back of the surrey and rolled his shoulders. He was already sore.

“I’ll whip us up something to eat and then we can go swimming!” the Hare said excitedly, shaking sand off his feet before entering the cottage.

The Hatter just shook his head and smiled. He was certainly glad the Hare was in a cheerful mood about their living situation, because he still wanted to wring the Walrus’ fat neck for ever letting his invisible companion create a misleading brochure that enticed them to spend their honeymoon in a sand-filled shack.

This was not at all how he’d imagined their vacation, but then again, nothing had gone quite according to plan.

But maybe it wasn’t so much about _where_ they were, but that they were there _together_.

He sighed and shook the sand off his flip-flops before stepping into the house.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare was determined to make their honeymoon a success. It was completely his fault that the train ride had been such a disaster and now he had to do something to make up for it.

He quickly set to work making veggie burgers and a fruit cocktail for dessert.

“Hatter, is there a grill outside?” he asked, feeling like an idiot for not making sure before he’d actually started making the burgers.

“Mmm, yes, there’s one here,” the Hatter said, stepping out onto the deck.

“Fabulous! Have you ever grilled before?”

“No, but how hard can it be?”

The Hare sighed and pursed his lips. He gathered up his burgers and headed outside to have a look. “Well, it all seems to be in order,” he said fiddling with some knobs.

“I’ll take care of it! Don’t worry!” the Hatter said, throwing a dish towel over his shoulder and scooting the Hare out of the way. “You just finish dessert.”

“Alright…if you’re sure…”

“I am!”

The Hare walked away muttering to himself, praying their meal wasn’t a disaster as well.

A few moments later there was a loud shriek and he whipped around to see the Hatter flinging a flaming towel off the grill with his spatula. It flew into the sand and died out with a sizzle.

“What happened?” the Hare asked, panting.

“My towel fell onto the grill…” the Hatter said biting his lip. “But the burgers didn’t burn!” he said happily.

“Well, that’s something,” the Hare muttered, returning to the kitchen.

He finished setting the table on the deck just as the Hatter scooped the last patty off the grill with his spatula. “Are these your famous bean and carrot burgers?” he asked, handing the plate to the Hare.

“They are indeed! Won me first prize at last year’s Wonderland Veggie Cook-off!”

The Hatter grinned and then looked out to the ocean. “I can’t wait to go swimming,” he sighed, seeming more at ease. And then his stomach grumbled loudly. “But first, we eat!” He pulled out the Hare’s chair for him and then they both sat down, facing the beach.

“This is scrummy!” the Hatter said, taking a big bite of his burger, veggie juice dripping down his chin.

“I’m glad you like them,” the Hare said proudly, putting another lettuce leaf under his bun before taking a bite. “See…dis’ isn’t so bad,” he said around a mouthful.

“You’re right…I guess I was just hangry…” the Hatter said before taking a sip of his peach sweet tea.

“Hangry? What’s that?”

“It’s a word the Caterpillar taught me…it means when you’re both angry _and_ hungry…or angry _because_ you’re hungry—either way, food solves the problem,” he said happily, taking another bite of his burger.

The Hare snickered. “Leave it to the Caterpillar to know a word like that…”

“Don’t you mean LEAF it to the Caterpillar?”

The Hare blinked at him a few times and then they both burst out laughing. “Clever…very clever,” he finally said.

“I do try,” the Hatter replied, popping a pickle in his mouth.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Let’s save dessert for after we swim. I’m itching to get in that water!” the Hatter said.

“Alright! Last one in is a rotten potato!” the Hare said, scooting back from the table. 

The Hatter jumped straight up from his seat and dashed towards the water. The Hare was hot on his tail.

They both squealed with delight when the cool water hit their bare ankles.

The Hatter ran and grabbed the Hare round the waist and twirled him around in a circle, laughing, before setting his feet back down in the sand. “Oh, I didn’t make you too dizzy, did I?” he asked.

“No, no I’m okay! As long as we’re not on a moving train I should be alright.”

“Good!” the Hatter said, jumping back a few feet and then splashing him with water.

The Hare shrieked and then splashed him back, and before long they were both soaked from head to toe. They peeled their tank tops off and threw them on the sand.

“Oh, shouldn’t you put some sunscreen on? You’ll fry!” the Hare asked.

“No, I’ll be okay! We won’t be out that long!”

“But you’re awfully white…” the Hare said, looking him up and down.

The Hatter just grinned and ran towards him, grabbing him round the waist again and scooping him up in his arms while the Hare shrieked. “You can be my sunblock!” the Hatter whispered in his ear, before unceremoniously dropping him in the water.

The Hare emerged, spewing salt water in the Hatter’s face, and laughing.

“Oh, I’ll get you for that!” the Hatter said lunging towards him, aqua-blue water sloshing all around him.

“Catch me if you can!” the Hare said diving under the surface.

***

\---The Hatter---

When they finally trudged back up to the beach cottage, completely water logged and exhausted, the sun was just starting to dip below the horizon.

“That…was amazing,” the Hatter said, clasping the Hare’s hand as they trudged through the sand.

The Hare giggled and bit his lip. “I never knew you were such a water bug,” he said.

“Oh, yes! One time, the Queen caught me swimming around in her fountain with my snorkel, and had a fit! I’ve always loved the water…”

“Well, maybe we need our own pool then…or fountain…whichever you would prefer.”

“That’s a brilliant idea!” the Hatter exclaimed, beaming at him. “We could put it in the backyard by your garden! I can lounge there and watch you pull weeds!”

The Hare chuckled. “Or you could _help me_ pull weeds and then we could jump in the pool afterwards…”

“That sounds good, too,” the Hatter said, leaning against the door frame and watching him.

The Hare set their things down on the dining room table and turned to look at him. “I think what we need is a shower…”

“Indeed-ee-do,” the Hatter said, sauntering towards him. “We can share.”

The Hare gulped and then licked his lips. “The outdoor one?”

“Yes.”

“Okay…”

The Hatter snatched his hand and drug him back out to the deck. “It’s just over here,” he said, walking down the steps with the Hare following close behind him. There was an enclosed wooden shower stall positioned around a concrete drain. “It looks functional,” the Hatter said turning the knob. A spurt of black liquid shot out and they both jumped back. “Smells like seaweed,” he said, crinkling his nose.

“Maybe just let it run a bit and it will clear out…” the Hare said. “I’ll go get the shampoo and soap.”

The Hatter thought it would be rather rousing to already be naked when the Hare came back, giving him a thrilling surprise, so he shimmied out of his purple swim trunks and tossed them to the side.

“OH!” the Hare yelped as he came around the corner.

“It’s all for you…” the Hatter crooned, motioning to himself with his hands.

The Hare continued to gape at him, wide-eyed. “Oh, dear…” he muttered.

“What’s wrong?” the Hatter asked, suddenly feeling very self-conscious.

“Hatter—you’re burned to a crisp!”

“Wh-what?” the Hatter stammered, looking down. He instantly noticed that the skin that had been concealed under his shorts was _much_ whiter than the rest of him. He gulped. His legs looked like they belonged on a lobster.

“Does it hurt badly?” the Hare asked, wincing as he pressed his finger to the Hatter’s bare chest, where it left a temporary white mark.

“No…at least not yet…I mean other than feeling rather warm.”

“Oh, dear…well, let’s get showered and then I’ll put some cream on you.”

The Hatter sighed and slumped his shoulders. “I should have listened to you and put sunscreen on…I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay!” the Hare said clutching his shoulders, but the Hatter winced and he quickly let go. “Sorry…” he sighed. “It’s both our faults. We shouldn’t have been so careless.”

“Well, the good thing is…not _all of me_ is burned to a crisp,” the Hatter crooned with a smirk as he moved closer towards him.

The Hare gulped, clearly wondering exactly how they were going to make this work.

~~~

In the end, they shampooed each other’s hair and then dried off and headed back inside.

“I did bring some sunburn cream!” the Hare exclaimed, coming out of the bedroom with a brown bottle. “Thank heavens! Sit down and let me slap some on you!”

The Hatter winced. “I don’t think I can handle any _slapping_ tonight…”

The Hare blushed furiously and pulled a chair out. “It’s just an expression.”

The Hatter sat down and proceeded to grunt and groan as the Hare carefully applied the cream. Clearly, his burn was getting more painful as the day wore on.

It was dark outside now and the moon was rising over the ocean, casting its reflection in the calm, sparkling waters.

“C’mon, let’s go sit outside and look at the stars…” the Hare said, prodding him to get up. The Hatter groaned miserably and followed behind him.

They both sat down on a wooden swing nestled in the sand in front of the deck, and looked up at the sky.

“Mmm, you can’t see this many stars in Wonderland,” the Hare sighed.

“No, it looks different there,” the Hatter said, taking the Hare’s hand and lacing their fingers together. “Thanks…for _everything_...by the way…” he said shyly.

“You’re welcome…” the Hare replied, seeming surprised. “I’d do anything for you.”

The Hatter grinned and squeezed his hand.

“Hare?” he asked after moment.

“Yes?”

“Can you hear that high-pitched, buzzing sound?”

“I thought it was your nose,” the Hare said absently, and then he glanced at him sideways and his eyes widened.

“What?” the Hatter asked.

“Mosquitoes!” the Hare screeched, yanking his hand and pulling him up off the swing.

“AHHHHH!” they both screamed as they ran for the house, enveloped in a cloud of bugs.

“Get the screens down!” the Hare yelped.

“Got it!”

Together, they managed to get all the window screens down, preventing any more bugs from entering the house.

The Hare scratched his neck and winced.

“Oh, look, there’s a mosquito net around our bed!” the Hatter hollered from the bedroom.

“Well, that will certainly be useful…” the Hare muttered.

He then made some Earl Grey tea, still scratching, and handed a mug to the Hatter. “Here’s to our honeymoon!” he said clinking their glasses together.

“Let’s hope there’s not sand in the bed!” the Hatter said ruefully.

And then they both burst out laughing.

~~~

Needless to say, there _was_ sand in the bed, but they were both so exhausted and itchy and hot, they didn’t even care. They shut themselves inside the mosquito proof netting and collapsed on the floral comforter, not even bothering to put on their pajamas or brush their teeth.

“Things can only get better from here, right?” the Hare asked, curled up into an itchy ball.

“Right,” the Hatter breathed, sprawled out on the bed, not wanting his burning skin to make contact with anything.

~~~

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare blinked his eyes open, the early morning light pulling him from his half-sleep. He’d scratched all night long and tossed and turned, while the Hatter had moaned in misery next to him. Perhaps things _could_ get worse, he thought with a groan, rolling to his side and scrunching his eyes shut.

Eventually, he rolled off the bed, wincing as his bare feet touched down onto sandy wood. He padded to the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror, nearly letting out a scream. His face was covered in red welts and his hair was a poufy, frizzy disaster.

Finding himself a lost cause, he padded his way to the kitchen, thinking he could at least have breakfast cooking for the Hatter when he woke up, surely that would start their day off right. 

He rummaged around in the grocery sacks until he found the pancake mix, grateful he’d bought it against the Hatter’s protests. He’d said pancakes from a box mix were just as bad as the Dormouse baking cookies from a can.

At this point, the Hare didn’t care. He just knew he needed to have _something_ baking when the Hatter woke up.

After frying up two towering stacks of pancakes and putting them in the oven to warm, he busied himself making a fruit bowl.

“Morning,” a raspy voice said, waking him from his trance.

“Oh! Hatter! You’re up…” he said rushing towards him, wiping his hands on his apron, which he was so glad he’d thought to bring even though he’d never planned on baking.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, grazing his bare shoulder with his fingertips. For some odd reason the Hatter was wearing his top hat, pajama bottoms and no shirt.

“Burnt,” the Hatter sighed.

The Hare winced; he didn’t have the heart to tell him he looked like a lobster in a top hat.

“I’ll put more cream on you after breakfast; have a seat,” he said pulling out a chair.

“Thanks,” the Hatter huffed, gingerly sitting down.

The Hare leaned down and pecked a kiss to his cheek and then went back to the oven. “I hope you’re hungry,” he said grabbing a pot holder and taking a plate out of the oven. “Though I didn’t make quite as many pancakes as you did for me that one time,” he said with a chuckle.

The Hatter snorted. “Yeah, that would be hard to top…I was pretty higgledy-piggledy that day.”

“Here’s the syrup and the butter,” the Hare said smilingly. “And I’ll just get the fruit bowl.”

“All this for me?” the Hatter asked.

“Of course! I told you I’d take care of you!”

The Hatter blushed, or at least the Hare assumed he was—it was impossible to tell with his burnt face.

“After breakfast I’ll put some cream on your mosquito bites,” the Hatter said, drizzling syrup all over his fluffy pancakes.

“That sounds like a plan,” the Hare said, absently scratching his face.

~~~

They managed to eat all of the pancakes and the entire bowl of fruit, ravenous from their fitful night of sleep.

“So what shall we do today?” the Hare asked as he smeared cool cream on the Hatter’s bare back.

“Mmm, what _can_ we do today?” the Hatter asked with a chuckle.

“Well, I’d prefer if it didn’t involve _bugs_ or the _sun_…” the Hare replied.

“Then lounging around the house it is!” the Hatter snorted.

“Surely there’s something else we can do…Maybe explore the town?”

“The way we look?!” the Hatter scoffed, smirking at the Hare’s face covered with white dots.

“Surely we’re not the _strangest_ looking creatures on the island…Wait, we are on an _island_, aren’t we?”

“I’m actually not sure,” the Hatter said thoughtfully.

The Hare moved to his front and started rubbing cream all over his bare stomach.

The Hatter flinched. “That tickles!” he said with a giggle.

“Does it now?” the Hare asked slyly, raising his brows. He rubbed his hands up and down his abs more vigorously until the Hatter was peeling with laughter.

“Oh, now you’ve done it!” the Hatter screeched, jumping up and chasing after him into the bedroom.

The Hare flung himself on the bed and the Hatter took a flying leap and landed on top of him, and there was the sickening sound of a crunch as the bed collapsed underneath them and hit the floor with a bang, sand and dust clouds blowing up around them and scattering on the sheets.

“What the—"

“Oh, my—"

The Hatter was the first one to start laughing, and soon the Hare joined in. He tried to crawl towards the Hatter but got tangled in the mosquito net that had collapsed on top of them, along with the bed.

“I guess it _can_ always get worse,” the Hatter wheezed, feeling horribly gross as his sticky chest was now covered in a fine layer of sand.

The Hare barked out a laugh and finally gave up fighting the net, thankful that he at least wasn’t liable to get bit by more mosquitoes in his present situation.

***

\---The Hare---

“How many more days do we have left?” the Hatter asked miserably as he was spread out on the yellow and white striped sofa.

“Five,” the Hare replied, touching one of his bites and trying desperately not to scratch it.

“Ugh,” the Hatter groaned, scrunching his eyes shut.

“Do you need more cream, dear?”

“No…I don’t need more cream…I need new skin,” he whined, draping the tea magazine he was reading over his face.

The Hare frowned and got up from his chair, walking over towards him. He bent down by the Hatter’s head.

“Hatter?”

“HUH?” the Hatter flinched, the magazine sliding off his face.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to alarm you, I just thought you could use some cuddles.”

The Hatter started to grin. “But how?”

“We’ll find a way,” the Hare said, moving closer and then carefully crawling over him as he lay on the sofa. He straddled him on all fours, careful not to rest his weight on him. “Like this, I guess,” he said staring down at him.

The Hatter eagerly wrapped his hands around his back and pulled him down lower, straining towards his mouth. The Hare felt like he was doing a very drawn out push-up. He lowered his face down and kissed the Hatter’s mouth, feeling a rush of heat shoot through his body.

And then, he started to itch.

“Oh bother,” he groaned pulling back.

“What is it?”

“You’re making me hot.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yes, _normally_…but not when I’m covered in dozens of bites!”

“Well, I’ll try to make you less…hot,” the Hatter said, as he pulled his face down and kissed him again.

“That’s…not…possible,” the Hare mumbled around his lips. Finally, his arms gave out and he collapsed on top of him, his full weight smashing into the Hatter’s crispy skin. The Hatter let out a shriek and they both rolled off the couch and onto the sand covered floor with a thud, with the Hatter now squishing the Hare.

The Hare wheezed underneath him.

“ARGH!” the Hatter groaned as he pried himself up to standing. “More…cream…need...more cream,” he panted.

There was a scream and then the front door slammed.

“What was that?” the Hare yelped, pulling himself up.

“I think that was probably someone the Walrus sent…”

“Well, that’s just lovely. What a way to find us…” the Hare said shaking his head.

“It could have been worse…” the Hatter murmured.

“Could it have? Really?” the Hare asked, looking him up and down.

The Hatter looked like a shiny lobster wrapped in a toga, with wild hair and even wilder eyes.

***

\---The Hare---

“Should we tell the Walrus about the bed?” the Hare asked later as they were preparing supper.

“Nah, let’s just let him think we got a little wild.”

The Hare blushed and wiggled where he stood. “I wish that were true.”

The Hatter flicked his eyes up from the table where he was chopping zucchini. “Give me a few days and it will be.”

The Hare bit his lip and had to turn back and face the stove so the Hatter couldn’t see his ridiculous grin. “Maybe in the morning we can walk along the beach,” he finally said. “Before the sun comes up.”

“What about the bugs?”

“I found some citronella under the counter…and if that doesn’t work I’ll just wrap myself in the bug net.”

The Hatter laughed heartily, obviously visualizing it, and shook his head. “Alright, let’s do it…”

~~~

They slept soundly on their broken bed that night. The Hare felt much less itchy smothered in cream and the Hatter was much less hot clad in only his underwear and sprawled out on the bed.

They woke before the sun came up and ran down to the beach, splashing in the water up to their ankles and finally starting to feel like it was a proper honeymoon.

“Oh, look!” the Hare exclaimed, picking something up.

The Hatter peered over his shoulder to see him holding an orange, squishy starfish.

“Here, throw it back and make a wish,” the Hare said, handing it to him carefully.

“What shall I wish for?”

“I’m sure you can think of _something_,” the Hare said, grinning mischievously.

The Hatter just smirked and hurtled the starfish back into the sea.

“What’d you wish for?”

“If I tell you, it might not come true,” the Hatter said, lacing their fingers together and pulling him along.

***

\---The Hare---

“Fancy a dip?” the Hatter asked, stopping as the waves crashed against their ankles.

“I will, if you will,” the Hare replied with a grin.

The Hatter carefully peeled his shirt off and threw it in the sand.

The Hare followed suit.

And then the Hatter stared at him darkly as he pulled his swim trunks down and tossed them aside.

The Hare gulped.

“Your turn,” the Hatter said in a husky voice.

The Hare shivered and then finally pulled his shorts down and stepped out of them.

The Hatter grinned smugly and then grabbed his hand, yanking him into the water. “Ahhh,” it actually feels good,” he said, going under and popping back up. He reached out and grabbed the Hare round the waist, pulling him towards him.

The Hare giggled and carefully wrapped his arms around his neck, straddling his hips. “Does this hurt?” he asked.

“Not terribly,” the Hatter replied, his blonde, wet hair slicked back from his face.

“Good,” the Hare said blushing. He narrowed his eyes to the Hatter’s mouth and before he could blink, the Hatter was kissing him, passionately, ferociously, digging his hands into his bare skin and sliding his tongue between his lips.

The Hare couldn’t even feel his bug bites anymore.

All he could feel was the Hatter.

And that's just how he liked it.

After a moment, they pulled apart, gasping for air.

“Is that what you wished for?” the Hare asked with a drunken expression, his face dripping wet.

“Not exactly,” the Hatter replied, a huge grin sliding up his inflamed face. “But you’ll just have to wait until _later_…” he said squeezing him closer.

“Oh, alright, if you insist,” the Hare said, zeroing in on his mouth again.

***

\---The Hatter---

“Didn’t you bring special occasion outfits for us?” the Hatter asked, rummaging through their clothes.

“Yes, the linen suits you mean?”

“Yes!”

“They’re right here,” the Hare said, pulling them from the wardrobe. “But what do we need them for?”

“We need them for _tonight_…” the Hatter said raising his brows several times. “Because I have something special planned.”

“Really?” the Hare gasped. “Like what?”

“It’s a surprise…but you’ll need to wear this,” he said, handing him the pastel blue linen pants and flowy beige top.

The Hare’s eyes lit up. “Should I get dressed right now?”

“Yes! And then meet me on the deck!”

The Hare grabbed the clothes and grinned, scampering to the bathroom.

The Hatter quickly slid on his beige pants and lilac linen top, mussed with his hair a bit, and then waited outside on the deck, twiddling his thumbs. He really hoped the Hare liked his surprise.

A few moments later the Hare emerged, grinning shyly and blushing as he walked towards him.

“You look like a dream,” the Hatter crooned, holding out his arms.

The Hare walked straight into his embrace and giggled into his shoulder. “A bug bitten dream,” he muttered.

“Hey, you can’t even see the bites anymore…and at least you aren’t a lobster!” the Hatter said, leaning back to look at him.

“You’re not nearly as red! I promise!” the Hare said, clasping onto his waist.

“Good! Shall we go then?” the Hatter asked, before sliding on his bedazzled purple sunglasses.

“Yes, but where to?”

“We’re taking the surrey and it’s still a surprise,” he said with a grin.

~~~

They pedaled leisurely for half an hour until they arrived at a swanky looking restaurant overlooking the ocean. 

“Here we are!” the Hatter said proudly.

“Oh, this is lovely,” the Hare exclaimed, clasping his hands together.

“Wait until you see,” the Hatter said, tugging him inside.

They were seated at a special table outside, overlooking the ocean. The white table cloth was sprinkled with pink and red rose petals surrounding a bottle of champagne that was chilling on ice.

“All for you,” the Hatter said, pulling out his chair for him.

“Oh, Hatter! This is beautiful! Thank you!” he gushed.

The Hatter was smiling so large he could feel his sun burnt face cracking.

“I’m glad you like it,” he said, sitting down and putting his napkin in his lap.

The Hare slid off the golden dolphin napkin ring and put his napkin in his lap as well.

“Welcome!” a tall man with a bird-like face said. “We will begin shortly with the first course. Would you like some champagne?”

“Yes, please!” they both said in unison.

The man held up the bottle and smiled before popping the cork.

The Hare gaped at the bottle. “Hey, is that—"

“Our wedding champagne? Yes it is!” the Hatter said excitedly, squirming in his seat.

“How did you—"

“I gave it to the Walrus’s attendant and she brought it here for me.”

“But when?”

“When you were napping,” the Hatter said, mischievously.

“You sly dog,” the Hare whispered, his brown eyes sparkling.

The Hatter shivered and picked up his glass flute, and was just about to gulp it down, when the Hare held up his glass. “A toast!” he said.

“To true love…and weathering any storm!” the Hatter finished.

The Hare grinned from ear to ear and they clinked glasses.

The Hatter gulped his down anxiously and flicked his eyes out to the sea.

He was already anticipating his final surprise at the end of their evening.

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare couldn’t believe all the trouble the Hatter had gone to surprise him. He even arranged special courses with all his favorite veggies, and the bottle of pink champagne from their wedding was the cherry on top.

After they finished their dessert (a silver platter of the most delicate and scrummy looking strawberry-chocolate petit fours he’d ever seen in his life) the Hatter took his hand and asked him to dance. He pulled him onto the dance floor, nearer to the string quartet playing a romantic, soft song, and twirled him in a circle. The Hare laughed as he was pulled back into his arms and they swayed to the tune. He loved what a confident and skilled dancer the Hatter was. It made his stomach do flip-flops. He leaned his face near the crook of his neck and sighed.

“What are you thinking?” the Hatter asked next to his ear, the sound of his deep voice sending a thrill up his spine.

“Mmm, that you smell like cupcakes and I hope you always will.”

“Cupcakes?” the Hatter asked with a laugh.

“Yes, cupcakes. The best smell in the entire world,” the Hare said, nuzzling his nose into his neck.

“Then I’ll never change it,” the Hatter crooned, dancing them in a slow circle.

“What do I smell like?” the Hare asked.

The Hatter leaned down and inhaled, right above his ear, making the Hare shiver and bite his lip.

“You smell like a garden on a spring day…sweet and earthy and blooming.”

“That’s…lovely…” the Hare murmured, squeezing onto him tighter, his heart bursting.

They danced to a few more slow songs, feeling tipsy on more than just champagne, and then finally decided it was time to head back.

They took their bottle of champagne, along with their left-over desserts, and pedaled their way back to the beach cottage.

“You know, this place has kinda grown on me,” the Hare said, staring up at the house with a wistful smile after they'd arrived back.

“Me, too,” the Hatter said standing next to him. “We’ve certainly had a lot of memorable moments here.”

“How true that is!” the Hare replied with a laugh, elbowing him in the side.

“I say we finish off this bottle!” the Hatter said, holding it in the air.

The Hare followed behind him up the wooden steps, suddenly feeling very nervous. He watched as the Hatter grabbed two crystal flutes and poured the pink liquid into them, holding one out for him.

“Thanks,” he said taking it.

The Hatter tipped his head back and swallowed his entire flute all in one go.

“Are you gonna drink that or just admire it?” he asked the Hare, smacking his lips.

“Oh! Um…” and he swallowed his down, shivering as it hit his stomach.

“That’s better,” the Hatter crooned, walking towards him. More like sauntering. The Hare gaped at him. The Hatter didn’t look so much like an over-sized lobster anymore. He eyed the way his linen pants hugged his thighs, and the way his flowy shirt hung off his broad shoulders.

He licked his lips and gulped.

“Follow me,” the Hatter said, turning and walking towards the bedroom.

The Hare froze, his legs turning to jelly. Now he knew exactly how the Caterpillar felt every time he tried to walk.

“C-coming,” he stammered, moving to catch up with him.

The Hatter stood in the room, next to the broken bed, holding onto the champagne bottle. He stared intensely at the Hare for a moment, took a deep breath, his nostrils flaring, and then threw his head back and chugged down the rest of the champagne.

The Hare gaped at him, his eyes as wide as saucers.

Then, evidently emboldened by his drink, the Hatter set the empty bottle down on the nightstand and moved towards the Hare. He stopped in front of him, inhaled shakily, and then grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him hard on the mouth. The Hare melted under his touch, feeling his legs give way as his heart exploded in his chest.

The Hatter’s nimble fingers wasted no time unbuttoning his shirt and peeling it off him, tossing it to the floor, while never breaking their kiss.

The Hare unbuttoned the Hatter’s shirt and did the same.

“Is this okay?” the Hatter asked, peering down at him with pupils so large his eyes looked black.

“Y-yes, anything…” the Hare stammered.

The Hatter grinned drunkenly and picked him up round the waist. He tossed him unceremoniously on the bed, and came down on top of him with a grunt, his blonde hair tickling the Hare in the face.

They both stared at each other for a moment, the heat rising to a fever pitch, and then they began shamelessly clawing at each other’s pants, trying to get them unzipped, and squirm out of them as fast as possible.

“Is your sun burn okay?” the Hare asked as he panted on top of him, straddling his hips.

“It’s fine,” the Hatter replied in a strained voice, scrunching his eyes shut as if he were in pain.

The Hare wasn’t sure if the pain he was experiencing was the _good_ kind or the _bad_ kind, but he hoped it was the good.

He leaned down and kissed his mouth, grasping the comforter on either side of his head as he did.

The Hatter groaned and gripped onto his waist, rolling them so he was on top again. He hovered over him on all fours. “Are you ready to _really_ break this bed?” he asked, inches from his face, his blue eyes full of a desperate hunger the Hare had never seen before.

“Y-yes,” the Hare stuttered, not sure exactly what he meant, but more than ready to find out.

***

\---The Hatter---

The Hatter knocked the bed against the wall with each driving blow, and he wasn’t going to stop—not until the ceiling came down.

Luckily, for them, that didn't have to happen.

Completely spent, and utterly empty, he collapsed onto the Hare’s, bare, sweaty back, gasping for air.

“Wow…” the Hare breathed underneath him. “Wow…”

The Hatter sucked in air and blinked his eyes—all he could see were stars.

He moved his mouth next to the Hare’s ear, “_This_ is what I wished for,” he panted.

The Hare just grunted feebly.

Now, the honeymoon had _finally_ begun, the Hatter thought, rolling to his back and staring up at the mosquito net with wide eyes.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song playing while they danced, "Always You," by: Sophie Zelmani


	18. Home Sweet Home

***

\---The Hare---

The Hare woke up the next morning very sore indeed.

He blinked his eyes open, trying to remember where he was.

He felt very warm.

He lifted the floral comforter up only to find the Hatter, sleeping with his face pressed against his bare stomach and his body sprawled out between his legs. The Hare was shocked at first by the sight, and then chuckled merrily to himself. He dropped the comforter back down and looked around the room.

The bug net was still around them. The Hatter must have rigged it above them at some point in the night.

He tilted his head backwards and stared up at the wall.

Was that a hole?

Yes, it was most definitely a hole.

It appeared they’d knocked one of the already broken bed boards right through the wall. The Walrus was going to be quite suspicious of their activity.

He smiled and closed his eyes. It was the best night of his life, next to their wedding night that is…and all the other nights (and days) they’d been together as well. But this one was particularly special because they’d done something new.

Something very new, indeed.

He blushed crimson just thinking about it. And if he were spry enough, he’d already determined that this next night, their roles would be reversed. He bit his lip and scrunched his eyes shut, feeling a surge of warmth shoot through his body.

He felt the Hatter stir between his legs and lifted the comforter back up again.

The Hatter raised his head and peered up at him with half-closed, sleepy eyes. “Morning,” he rasped, a large grin sliding up his face.

“Good morning, dearest! Are you hungry?”

“Famished,” the Hater said before placing a kiss on his belly.

The Hare squirmed and giggled underneath him.

“And I think I’ll start right…_here_,” the Hatter said, lowering his face down.

The Hare let out a surprised gasp and let the blanket fall back down, squeezing his eyes shut.

~~~

Needless to say, when they finally did have breakfast—it was technically the Hatter’s _second_ one.

***

\---The Hatter---

“No bugs out here?” the Hatter asked as he padded his way out onto the deck, holding his steaming cup of coffee.

“None so far! The breeze has picked up and surely blown them all away…” the Hare said, leaning against the railing and smiling at him.

“Let’s go sit on the swing then,” the Hatter said, walking down the steps.

They sat down side by side and sighed.

“This is finally starting to feel like a vacation,” the Hatter said, leaning his head back and watching the waves crash rhythmically against the sandy shore.

“Maybe we should extend our stay,” the Hare replied.

They both turned to look at each other.

“Nah!” they both said in unison and then started laughing.

“You’re probably ready to get back to your garden,” the Hatter said sipping his coffee.

“I am quite eager! I can’t wait to get my hands in the dirt!” the Hare said excitedly, lighting up.

“And I can’t wait to watch you!” the Hatter said happily.

“Do you still want to put a pool in?”

“Yes! I think we should!”

“The Queen will have to have one then, I’m sure!”

“True,” the Hatter said with a frown. “She wouldn’t be thrilled about one of her subjects having something she didn’t.”

“Well, it will give the White Rabbit something new to plan…I’m sure he’s tired of constantly trimming roses and planning garden parties.”

“He seemed to get on quite well with your _mother_,” the Hatter said slyly.

The Hare chuckled. “Yes, I suppose they have a lot in common…they’re both quite anal!”

The Hatter spewed coffee out of his nose and started choking.

“What?”

“N-nothing…nothing at all,” he said wiping his mouth and trying not to grin.

“Oh!” the Hare said turning red.

And then they both started laughing.

The Hatter laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand, leaning back and spreading his legs apart, his purple robe opening significantly. “You know what we should do today?”

“What?”

“Find ice-cream.”

“Oh, yes! In fact, I think I saw a place on the way to the market!”

“How about a morning swim first and then we can piddle around town?” the Hatter asked, turning towards him, relishing the way the Hare’s eyes shot down to his spread legs and then back up again.

“Right now?”

“Yes!” he said tossing his coffee cup in the sand and tugging the Hare forward.

They ran towards the surf, laughing the entire way and trying not to trip in the uneven sand.

The Hatter stripped his robe off and tossed it aside. “C’mon!” he urged.

The Hare bit his lip and then did the same, following him waist-deep into the water. “It’s cold!” he yelped.

“You’ll get used to it!” the Hatter grinned.

“Says the man as hot as the sun…” the Hare muttered, wincing as the icy water splashed up to his bare shoulders.

“Why, thank you!” the Hatter said beaming.

“Well, that’s not—"

The Hare frowned. “Well, you _are_ as hot as the sun…in more ways than one,” he grinned, lunging towards him and shoving him under the water. The Hatter grabbed him round the waist and pulled them both under a wave, managing to find his mouth, and smashing their lips together. They both came up sputtering and gasping for air.

“We should have brought your scuba gear!” the Hare said, spraying water out of his mouth and grinning.

“True! I thought we’d be able to rent something from the _resort_,” the Hatter said, raising his brows. “But that’s _clearly_ not an option.”

“Well, maybe we can at least find something in town.”

“Yes, let’s look!” and then he grabbed the Hare round the waist again and pressed their wet chests together, kissing him good and hard until they both pulled away laughing and panting for air.

***

\---The Hare---

“Here they are!” the Hare said, holding up two sets of snorkeling gear and fins.

“Those will be perfect!” the Hatter said beaming. “And I found some floats!” He held up two large plastic packages. “But they’re a surprise so you can’t see!” he said, quickly hiding them behind his back.

The Hare grinned, pretty certain he’d seen something that looked an awful lot like a carrot.

They milled about the small beach town for several hours, holding hands and going in and out of souvenir shops, happy as clams.

“Oh, we need to get the Dormouse a souvenir!” the Hare said, spinning a rack of key-chains with the “Beachtown” logo on them.

“Hmm, what do you suppose he’d like?” the Hatter asked, lowering his bedazzled purple sunglasses and staring at a rack of seashells.

“How about this?” the Hare asked, holding up a miniature plastic palm tree that was sat next to a tiny blue and white striped beach chair. “He could literally sun bathe in it!”

“Yes, I think he’d like that!” the Hatter said smiling. “We need to get something for ourselves, too…” he said, trailing his fingers over a shelf.

The Hare found a ceramic starfish and thought about the one the Hatter had thrown back into the sea, and the _wish_ he’d made. He grinned at it.

“Found something?” the Hatter asked, coming up behind him.

“Yes! This!” he said holding the starfish out and beaming. 

“That’s perfect! You remembered!”

“Well, it was a very _unforgettable_ wish…” the Hare said biting his lip, his cheeks flushing. “Have you found something?”

“These,” the Hatter said holding up two shot glasses which said, “What happens at the beach, stays at the beach.”

The Hare giggled.

“We’ll have to pour some pink champagne in them!”

“But we drank the bottle!”

“Nope. I brought more than one,” the Hatter said devilishly. “C’mon, let’s go find some ice-cream.”

***

\---The Hatter---

“This is really goo’!” the Hare mumbled, licking the top off of his pink and blue swirly ice cream cone.

“If you think Double Berry is good you should try Limoncello!” the Hatter said slurping around his dripping waffle cone. “Here!” he said, holding it out to the Hare, and they swapped cones.

“Mmm,” that’s scrummy, too,” the Hare said licking his lips.

They were sitting on a wooden bench with their toes in the sand, gazing out over the ocean.

“You know, we may have to get our own surrey when we get home...I’ve gotten quite used to it,” the Hatter said, licking pink and blue ice-cream off his lips.

“We have the golf cart…”

“Yes, but I think I’ll rather miss the pedaling…”

“Never thought I'd hear you say that!” the Hare chuckled.

“Well, it’s not easy to go uphill…but Wonderland is so very flat. Plus, it doubles as a workout,” the Hatter said, puffing out his chest.

“Maybe we can get back to jogging when we return…”

“As long you don’t leave me behind in your dust and then pretend to sprain your ankle so I have to carry you around and dote on you,” the Hatter said elbowing his side.

“Hey!” the Hare exclaimed.

“Kidding! It was just as fun for me…the doting part—not the spraining your ankle part.”

“Is that when you knew?” the Hare asked.

“Knew what?”

“That you liked me…” the Hare said shyly.

The Hatter barked out a laugh. “No, no it was _way_ before that.”

“When?”

“Hmm, well, actually I can’t think of a time when I _didn’t_ have feelings for you…But I suppose you getting hurt was what forced me to finally _acknowledge_ them. I enjoyed taking care of you far too much,” he said blushing.

“And when did you rifle through my things?”

The Hatter sputtered, nearly dropping his ice-cream cone in the sand. “What?”

“The box under my bed,” the Hare said elbowing his side.

“Oh! That! Well, that was technically an _accident_…When the Tweedles were removing ghouls from the attic they turned your room upside down and I found that box on the floor with all its contents spilled out. I was confused why you kept a picture of me in a heart-shaped box…But then I thought—maybe that’s what _friends_ do…”

The Hare chuckled. “You were pretty dense.”

“Well, what about when I made you that suit for the Queen’s garden party? You didn't realize I liked you then?”

“No! I just thought that’s what _friends_ did…”

“I guess we were both pretty dense then!” the Hatter said with a note of satisfaction, slurping the top off his cone.

“I thought we were _never_ going to kiss,” the Hare sighed, gazing out at the sea, melted ice-cream dripping down his hand.

“Me, too!” the Hatter blurted out. “I tried so many times and we were _always_ interrupted! I swore that if I didn’t kiss you after the Queen’s fashion show I’d jump off a cliff or burn my house down!”

“Well I’m certainly glad it didn’t come to that!” the Hare said, licking his sticky fingers and grinning.

***

\---The Hatter---

They pedaled back home and decided to go for a swim with their new snorkels and floats.

“Don’t forget the sunscreen!” the Hatter said, as he was stuffing some towels into their beach bag.

“Don’t worry!” the Hare replied, filling their cooler with strawberry popsicles and lemon fizz.

After they’d finished packing the Hare lathered the Hatter in sunscreen and made him stand in the shade until it dried.

And just to be extra careful, the Hatter put his t-shirt back on along with a wide brimmed hat and his sunglasses. He never wanted to be a lobster again.

They walked down to the beach and dropped their things under the lone blue and white striped umbrella that was sat between two matching beach chairs.

“It’s a perfect day!” the Hare said, gazing up at the azure blue sky dotted with white, puffy clouds moving lazily in the breeze. A seagull flew over, squawking, and he watched it fly towards the horizon.

“Time to blow up the floats!” the Hatter said, plopping down on the beach chair and pulling the plastic packages out of their beach bag.

“This ones yours!” he said holding up a giant, orange carrot float.

“I love it!” the Hare exclaimed. “And what’d you get?”

“This!” the Hatter said, handing him the other package as he was already attempting to blow up the carrot.

“A tea cup! How perfect! I can’t believe they had these…” the Hare said opening the package. “Maybe we should have had them blown up in town, though…they’re awfully big,” he said with a worried look as he watched the Hatter’s face turn purple.

“We…can…manage…” the Hatter wheezed, taking deep breathes. “Between…the both of us…we’ve got plenty…of _hot air_.”

The Hare barked out a laugh and whacked him on the head with the deflated tea cup.

~~~

After getting both floats blown up they were completely spent and collapsed backwards onto their chairs.

“The main warning label on these floats should read: _blowing them up yourself may cause fainting_,” the Hare panted, throwing his arm over his face.

“How true that is,” the Hatter murmured, sprawled out on his beach chair with the giant carrot wedged between his legs.

Once they’d gathered enough strength, they headed back down to the water, floats and snorkel gear in hand. They dropped the floats on the sand and put their masks and flippers on, having a very difficult time getting to the water.

The Hare tripped and fell flat on his face.

“Probably should have put them on _after_ we got into the water,” the Hatter said in a nasally voice behind his giant plastic mask.

“Probably!” the Hare replied, spitting sand out of his mouth.

They made their way over to a tranquil tide pool that was situated between some rocks, and quickly forgot the trouble it took to get them there as soon as they peered under the surface.

Their eyes widened at the dazzling display of colorful fish and sea creatures darting in and out of the black rocks.

The Hare spied an orange starfish and pointed it out. The Hatter grinned around his snorkel.

They saw a giant sea turtle floating in the gentle waves, and brightly colored sea plants and coral of every color. It was a magical, dream-like world they never wanted to leave.

But eventually, after paddling around for several hours, they were as wrinkled as prunes and ready to get back on dry land.

“That…was amazing,” the Hare said, peeling his goggles off.

“I’ll say! Beats swimming circles in the Wonderland Spring any day!”

They trudged back to their beach chairs and collapsed onto them.

The Hare dug out two strawberry popsicles from the ice chest and handed one to the Hatter.

“Thanks,” the Hatter said, taking it and peeling the paper off. “Mmm, dis’ is goo’,” he sighed, closing his eyes.

“We still need to use the floats…” the Hare said, before biting the top off his popsicle.

“Mmm, we always have tomorrow,” the Hatter replied.

“Our last day…” the Hare sighed.

***

\---The Hare---

That night they decided to put their shot glasses to good use and finish off their last bottle of champagne. Things got a little amorous and they ended up breaking the bed even further, (though they weren’t sure _how_ that was even possible) and putting yet _another_ hole through the wall.

And the Hare kept his promise to himself and did exactly to the Hatter what the Hatter had done to him the night before, thinking that without the copious amounts of champagne, he mightn’t have been so brave…or so pliable.

The Hatter rolled onto his back, panting, and stared up at the bug net with wide, blue eyes.

“Was that good?” the Hare asked, biting his lip anxiously.

“Good?” the Hatter breathed. “Good?! I think I might have _died_…”

“Oh, dear…” the Hare said biting his nails.

“No…no…not like that. In a _good way_.”

“Died…in a _good_ _way_?”

“The _best_,” the Hatter breathed, scrunching his eyes shut and swallowing hard.

“Well, as long as it was _good_.”

“Great galloping gophers…” the Hatter wheezed, his bare chest still heaving up and down. “You sure knew what you were doing…”

“Well, I guess I learned from you.”

The Hatter snickered. “Well, I didn’t even know what I was doing.”

They both laughed heartily and then the Hare flopped down on the bed next to him.

“That sounds pretty much like us in general…”

The Hatter barked out a laugh and slapped his hand down on the Hare’s naked thigh, making him jump. “How true that is,” he said giving it a squeeze.

***

\---The Hatter---

The next day was their last day and they decided to spend as much of it as possible on the beach.

They wandered down to the shore at sunrise and leisurely drank their coffee and looked for sand dollars, talking about what they’d plant in the Hare’s garden when they got back.

When the sun rose higher and it started getting hotter, they went back to the cottage to slather on sunscreen and grab their things.

"Here, put some of this on me," the Hare said, handing the Hatter a brown plastic bottle.

"What is it?"

"It's sun tan oil."

"But you're already pretty dark..."

"I'm always dark! But I want everyone to know I've been in the sun."

"Alright," the Hatter said reluctantly, taking the cap off the bottle. "Mmmm" it smell like coconuts," he sighed.

"Exactly. A quintessential beach smell."

The Hatter grinned and poured some in his hand. "Where do you want it?"

"Wherever there's skin," the Hare said, grinning widely and then biting his bottom lip.

The Hatter's breath hitched as he stared at the Hare's bare chest. "My pleasure," he breathed, his eyes glittering. He smeared the oil all over his chest, down his arms, around his back, and finally, over his stomach.

The Hare flinched and started giggling and finally the Hatter couldn't take it anymore. He tossed the bottle aside and grabbed the Hare's waist, pulling him forward, but the Hare was so oily he slipped right out of his grasp.

They both laughed and then the Hatter tried again. This time, he hung onto his neck, quickly finding his mouth, and kissing him senseless. The Hare squirmed against him and slid his hands down to his bum, giving it a firm squeeze and making the Hatter shiver.

Eventually, the Hatter pulled back, panting for air, and pressed their foreheads together. "I think you're gonna need to be re-oiled," he said. "Most of it ended up on me."

"I'm okay with that..." the Hare breathed, squeezing him tighter.

~~~

Eventually, they made it down to the beach where they dumped their things onto the striped beach chairs, grabbed their floats, and ran into the water, jumping the waves to get out farther.

“I’m not exactly sure how to hang onto this thing!” the Hatter yelled, gripping onto his giant, pink tea cup float.

“Get inside of it, of course!” the Hare replied.

“Oh…”

The Hatter struggled to pull himself up and over the side, but he finally managed with the help of the Hare, who held it steady for him and gave him a push.

“This is actually quite nice!” the Hatter remarked, leaning back and resting his hands behind his head. “But I think your carrot is going to prove more challenging!”

“No, I’ll just climb onto it, like so…and then…”

But the Hare didn’t get to finish what he was saying, for as soon as he’d mounted the carrot, a giant wave came out of nowhere and hurtled him forward at lightning speed. He appeared to be flying across the sea on a jet rocket—perhaps it was because he was so oily, or perhaps it was because of the aerodynamics of the carrot—either way, the Hatter watched him go with his mouth hanging open and his eyes bugged out.

The Hare shrieked and clutched onto the carrot for dear life, swiftly skimming over the tops of the waves and zooming right up onto the beach, where he came to a rather abrupt halt and was flung face-first into a sand dune.

***

\---The Hare---

When the Hare lifted his head, spitting sand out of his mouth and shaking it from his ears, he was certain he could hear the Hatter howling with laughter from the surf down below, probably spinning circles in his giant, pink tea cup.

Clearly, carrots and oil didn't mix, he thought, pursing his lips.

~~~

That night they wrapped themselves in the bug net, grabbed some mugs of Chamomile and Lavender tea, and sat on the swing with their toes buried in the cool sand.

“It’s a perfect night,” the Hare sighed, gazing up at the vast, inky black sky scattered with stars.

“It was a perfect honeymoon,” the Hatter said, resting his hand on his thigh.

The Hare placed his hand on top of the Hatter’s and entwined their fingers. “Yes, indeed. It was certainly an adventure.”

“I hope we keep on having them,” the Hatter said.

“As long as we’re together…we always will,” the Hare replied.

***

\---The Hare---

The next morning, they packed up their things and said goodbye to the beach cottage. They’d come to grow quite fond of its sandy floors and drafty wooden walls. They determined to come back every year from then on. It would be their new tradition.

“What time is the train leaving?” the Hare asked, lugging their bags over his shoulder.

“Oh, we’re not taking the train back…” the Hatter said with a sly grin.

“What do you mean? How’re we getting back then?”

“It’s a surprise,” the Hatter said.

They threw their things in the back of the beach surrey and pedaled to the Hatter’s undisclosed, surprise location.

“What the—" the Hare started to say, gaping up at the sky. “We’re _flying_ home?” he screeched as he watched a yellow plane flying circles above them.

“Yep.”

“Really?”

“Yes! We’ll be home in no time at all and you won’t get sick!”

“Wow!” the Hare breathed. “But Hatter, I’ve never flown before—I still might get sick!”

The Hatter frowned, “Well at least if you do, you won’t be sick for long!”

Suddenly, the Walrus appeared again.

“Him again?” the Hare hissed.

“Hello! Are you two ready to go?”

“Yes, we are!” the Hatter said excitedly.

They watched in awe as the yellow plane landed and then taxied over to them. Once it came to a complete stop, the Walrus loaded their bags in the back and then helped them get inside. He switched places with the dog-faced man that landed it, and put headphones on over his ears.

“It’s going to be a quick flight!” he bellowed. “If you get sick there’s a paper bag!”

The Hare immediately grabbed one and held it on his lap, just to be prepared. He felt like his heart was about to explode. The Hatter smiled at him, clearly bemused, and then gazed out the window. The Hare couldn’t believe how calm he was.

The plane took off and the Hare dug his fingers into the arm rests, but once they were floating in the air he felt much better. He was shocked to see that the Hatter looked quite green in the face. “Here,” he said handing him the brown paper sack, “I think you may need this more than I do!”

The Hatter pursed his lips and took it.

The ocean finally disappeared from sight and soon they were flying above snowy mountains and then green forests with tall trees.

The Hare’s heart gave a jolt when he saw the Queen’s palace gleaming in the sunlight in the distance. Flying was most definitely the best way to travel.

The Hatter groaned from his seat and breathed in the paper bag. “We’re almost here!” the Hare said reassuringly, reaching across the aisle and patting his arm.

The plane came to a very bumpy stop on the Wonderland Airstrip and the Hare was sure the Hatter was going to lose it, but they both managed to keep their breakfast down, surprisingly.

The Walrus helped them out, telling them not to run into Penniped, and then he retrieved their bags.

“Thanks…for everything!” the Hatter said, still looking rather green.

“We had a wonderful time!” the Hare added. “And sorry about the bed…” he muttered.

They waved goodbye and trotted towards the airport, which was really just a tiny building at the end of the airstrip.

“How’re we getting home?” the Hare hollered over the roar of the plane.

“I’ve arranged a car to come and get us!” the Hatter yelled back.

They came around the corner of the building to find the infamous banana car waiting in the lot.

“Galloping gophers! It’s that blasted car again!” the Hatter exclaimed.

The Hare just laughed and shook his head. “Maybe we should buy it…it seems to follow us wherever we go.”

“Maybe…” the Hatter said, waving to the beetle in the driver’s seat and then stowing their things in the tail.

And then they hopped inside and sped off.

~~~

They were never so happy to see their home.

The giant, yellow top-hat of a house looked more welcoming than it ever had.

When they were finally standing outside of it they dropped their bags and clasped hands.

“Sometimes you have to leave home to find it again,” the Hare sighed.

The Hatter smiled at him wistfully and squeezed his hand.

To their complete surprise, the front door opened and the Tweedles piled out, along with Alice and the White Rabbit. “SURPRISE!” they all yelled, “Welcome home!”

Confetti and steamers rained down on their heads as they stood there gaping, completely shocked by the welcome party.

“How was the trip?” Tweedle Dum asked.

“Looks like you got a tan!” Tweedle Dee said.

They were bustled inside and then to the backyard where they found the Queen sitting at their patio table, fanning herself, with her feet propped up in a chair. “Well it’s about TIME!” she barked, getting up.

The Dormouse popped out of his blue teapot on the table and threw his hands in the air. “You’re HOME!” he exclaimed.

“We had a wonderful honeymoon!” The Hatter announced, taking the Hare’s hand. “Thank you all so much for taking care of things while we were gone!”

“Oh, we have so much to tell you!” the White Rabbit said, wringing his hands anxiously.

“The croquet game!” Alice exclaimed.

“The fashion show!” Tweedle Dum yelped.

“My ROSES!” the Queen bellowed.

“Yes, yes, that’s all very nice and we can’t wait to get caught up on all the news…” the Hatter said, his shoulders sagging.

“But we’d really like to unpack and rest,” the Hare chimed in, finishing his sentence.

“Oh, of course!” Alice exclaimed. “You two must be _exhausted_ from your trip! We can catch up tomorrow…”

“Wonderful…wonderful…” the Hatter said, gently ushering everyone out of the backyard and towards the front garden gate.

“Oh harrumph!” the Queen could be heard saying as the White Rabbit shuffled her along.

“We’ll see you tomorrow!” the Tweedles hollered before skipping away.

“Bye now!” the Hatter said with a little wave. “Home…at last…” he sighed, sinking down onto the striped cushion of the garden swing.

The Hare sat down next to him and sighed. “Home sweet home.”

They were silent for a moment, both gazing out at the tangerine and pink tinted sky scattered with fluffy, iridescent clouds. The sun was just beginning to set.

The Hatter took the Hare’s hand and laced their fingers together, giving it a squeeze. “This is going to be quite an adventure,” he said, a mischievous grin sliding up his face.

“The greatest of all,” the Hare replied, resting his head on his shoulder.

***

\---T H E E N D---

~~~

_Thank you so much for reading!_

~~~

The Hatter and Hare have truly captured my heart like no other and I hope their story made you laugh and gave you all the feels! This certainly isn't the end of their sweet tale! I plan to write some special holiday episodes about them and who knows what else! I’m not ready to leave this world yet!

~~~

I'd like to thank "The Great British Bake Off" for inspiring all the delicious desserts! And "Project Runway" for inspiring "Wonderland's Top Hat" competition! 

~~~

**Find all my moodboards here:**

** [The White Palace](https://milesofblue.tumblr.com/private/189177799407/tumblr_pAOzisXvaWYb2m2wU)  
**

[ **The Wedding** ](https://milesofblue.tumblr.com/private/189174585677/tumblr_s03k6e2ZS8fX9IlFp)

[ **The Honeymoon** ](https://milesofblue.tumblr.com/private/189174641007/tumblr_TQOIEWtJTHjHfqa7t)

~~~

And lastly, a huge thank you to my mom and sister for putting up with me and encouraging me as I went more than a little mad writing this story! I love you!

~~~

Let me know your favorite parts of the story in the comments! And find me on Tumblr at: milesofblue!

Love,

D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.s. Check my profile on here regularly to see what fics I currently have in progress and my to-do list! =)


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